December 16 – Los Angeles
As I walked into a costume store in Los Angeles, I found myself wondering why the hell Jake wanted to meet here. It’s December. And he wants to play Halloween dress up? An employee gestures me to an area in the back and I walked in. Jake wasn’t here, so I assumed it was just me. As soon as I sat down in a chair, some ratchet ass music from the 80s started to play. I look around the room, deeply confused. Then, Jake pops out from behind a curtain dressed like some sort of weird nerdy type. I wasn’t amused.
Jordan: What the fuck?
Jake: I got our tag name. And our outfits!
Jordan: So we’re nerds?
Jake: Nah, you know. The music? You know this music, and this costume?
I looked at him with a blank expression. He honestly looks more than disappointed. His expression quickly changes. He crosses his arms and shakes his head back and forth. Then, all at once, he grabs his suspenders and raises his eyebrows up and down. I still don’t know what the hell he’s doing.
Jake: Come on!? Steve Urkel? Family Matters is the show and our team name?
Jordan: Who the hell is Steve Urkel?
Jake: I fucking hate you millenials so damn much. You kill me!
Jordan: This is stupid. What are we doing here?
Jake: Team bonding. Well, coming up with a team name actually. It got me thinking. Before we go and see my guru —
Jordan: Your what?
Jake: Yeah, later on we’re visiting my guru. Anyway, we need a team name. And coming up with that together is going to help us get closer.
This is another one of his ridiculous plots. He can’t help himself, of course. I roll my eyes because of course I do. Still, it makes me laugh. It’s something I need lately. Jaina makes me happy. Sometimes this idiot makes me laugh. My career is stressing me out because I feel like I’m not making any progress. I come out of my thoughts to realize Jake has fled back to the area behind the curtain again. I stand and walk around the room and examine some of the costumes on the racks. It’s all so campy. I’m not changing my gear for a team name or going with a theme. Maybe matching colors or something, but this.
Jake: How about this?
I turn and see Jake standing there with a speedo on. It hurts my heart for some reason. On his face he has aviator sunglasses, a fake mustache and what appears to be sunscreen on his nose. He’s tossing around a volleyball, too.
Jordan: No!
Jake: The Top Guns!
Jordan: No! Put some clothes back on!
He turns and sighs as he walks back through the curtain.
Jake: Sometimes I wonder about you. You never have any fun. Always so freaking serious, sis.
Jordan: Try trading spots with me for a day sometime and see what it’s like to walk in my shoes. It’s not a walk in the park I can promise you that.
Jake: Do I get Jaina?
Jordan: What?
Jake: Do I get your girlfriend if we trade spots?
Jordan: It was like a figure of speech, don’t be perverted.
Jake: I think you’d realize that if we did trade spots, my life isn’t as easy as you must think it is. Yet, I still seem to have more fun than you.
Some music suddenly fills the air. I vaguely recognize it, but not enough to identify it. I look at the curtain just in time to see Jake come sliding out in his socks. He’s wearing tighty whities and a button-up shirt. He has sunglasses on and he’s lip syncing to the music in a hairbrush. I stare with a blank expression and then put my hands on my head in concern. He stops and points at me with excitement.
Jake: You like this one!? We can wrestle in our underwear! Risky Business!
Jordan: What is wrong with you?
Jake takes the sunglasses off and stares at me as he walks back through the curtain and turns the music off.
Jordan: Why do we need a name? Why can’t we just be Jordan Majors and Jake Starr.
Jake: Jake Starr and Jordan Majors?
Jordan: Why does it matter who’s first?
Jake: Because biologically I was first and you can’t take that away from me.
I sigh and roll my eyes. Of course I set that up for him.
Jordan: If you ask me we don’t need a name yet. We haven’t done anything anyways.
Jake comes walking out shaking a shaker and then just tosses it on the ground.
Jake: This was Cocktail but you’re irritating me with this negativity. Stop it. Have some fun with this, sheesh.
Jake turns and walks back through and I look down. There’s a lot of noise coming from Jake’s area where he’s getting dressed and then I hear a door shut.
Jordan: Jake? Jake!?
I stand and walk over and peek through the curtain.
Jordan: Oh, thank god you’re not naked. What are you —
I reached out to touch him only to watch a stacked up pile of towels wearing clothes and a wig collapse to the ground. A bunch of red lights turn on and I run back through the curtain into the main room. My heart beats as fast as it has all day as I try to understand what’s going on.
Jake: Boo!
I turn and smack what was behind me right across the skull and then smack it again even harder. The lights quickly turn back to normal.
Jake: Ouch! Ouch!! Stop!!
I look up and realize Jake is suspended from the ceiling. He reaches back and disconnects a clip and falls to his face with a thud.
Jordan: Mission Impossible? Really, Jake!? What is this?
Jake climbs to his feet and limps through the curtain as someone above us pulls the rope back through the ceiling.
Jordan: How much did you have to pay someone to get into the ceiling for this?
Jake: Don’t worry about it. Let me change into this last one. Give me a minute.
I look down to my purse and reach down to check my phone. More missed calls from Christina. I can’t even bring myself to deal with her shit right now. The stress alone makes me search through my bag for a bottle I keep at the bottom. I shake four pills out into my hand – one Valium and three Naproxen – and then toss them into the back of my throat and swallow. I quickly stash the bottle back into the bottom and slink into the chair as I wait for Jake to come back out again. Then he appears. He’s wearing neat khaki pants and nice shoes. His shirt is buttoned up and tucked in. He’s holding a very large book in one hand and something stuffed under his arm. He keeps looking up in the air. I sit up curiously and see he has a toy alien under his arm.
Jordan: What in the world…
Jake: Not in this world at all. Well, partly in this world, but with a look to the future when we’re all saved.
Jordan: Are you nuts?
Jake: The Scientologists!
Jordan: Ok, I’m out. Tom Cruise cosplay hour is over.
I stand to leave and Jake grabs me by the arm. I turn back and he has a smile on his face.
Jake: Don’t you know the rules? Once you go Scientologist, you’re never allowed to leave. You’re stuck here now…
Jordan: I thought you promised I wasn’t going to die?
Jake tries to hold his straight demeanor but suddenly he breaks and doubles over in laughter.
Jake: That was perfect! You keep saying that and it kills me.
I raise my eyebrows and just nod like I understand anything he’s saying. I turn myself toward the entrance of this room to make my exit before Jake tries to wrap me into anything else.
Jake: Oh, come on. I still have 9 other costume and team name ideas? I still need to show you the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company outfits and the Castaway outfits. I’m the castaway and you’re the volleyball Wilson!
Jordan: That’s Tom Hanks.
Jake: Oh… I still have… a few more costumes potentially. I need to double check online.
I shake my head and smile.
Jordan: That’s all for me, bro. For now we’ll just remain Jordan Majors and Jake Starr.
Jake: Jake Starr and Jordan Majors. The Starrs!
Jordan: Whatever…
I walk through the door and leave him in costume land to head on to meet up with Bree, Sienna, Xiomara and Sierra. I know we’re meeting up later after my reaction to Breakdown in Salt Lake City. Sienna thought we all needed a night out. And of course Sierra would be there to flirt with me all night. Jaina can’t go of course. I have to be on my best behavior just in case. I can feel the Valium kicking in as I start to order my Uber.
December 25 – Kenner, Louisiana
As I nurse my left knee, I stare across the room into a full-length mirror. Jaina was on her way to pick me up and I realized my knee didn’t want to cooperate with these heels. I limp over to my closet and dig through a pile of shoes until I find a nice pair of ankle high boots. I put them on and limp still over to my kitchen. I grab a bottle and sprinkle a few Naproxen and a Valium into my hand and toss them into my mouth, chasing them down my throat with the glass of wine that sat on the counter. I sat the now empty glass back when I hear a key in the deadbolt. I jerk to attention and toss the bottle of pills inside of a cookie jar right as Jaina enters. I smile as she comes right over and kisses me.
Jaina: You look nice, babe. Boots? Not bad.
Jordan: Thought I’d change it up. You ready?
She reaches for my hand and I grab my bag and let her drag me out to the jeep to head to her mom’s place. As we drive, she seems to be studying me. I wonder if something is off.
Jaina: You don’t seem as nervous this time?
Jordan: I’m fine. I’m excited this time.
Jaina: You sure? I know you’ve been kind of bummed with the shows recently. I keep telling you that —
Jordan: I know, boo. You keep telling me that it’s going to take time and we still have to keep our heads up.
Jaina smiles and focuses on the road.
Jaina: What’s Jake doing for Christmas?
Jordan: Shit…
Jaina: Jordan, no. You didn’t call him?
Jordan: I’ll text him and call him later. I’m sure they’re busy.
Jaina: You two are funny. I know we’re not in the same situation, but I can’t imagine not talking to Loki for the holidays.
We trade small talk on the way to the party and of course a little flirting. It feels so nice to be on a break from the schedule. It’s still a few days before the End of the Year Special when we all need to get back on the road and on the grind. We walk hand in hand to the door and head inside. Immediately I see Bree and Amy talking just inside. Bree turns to look over at me and instantly she’s looking at my shoes.
Bree: Jordan! That’s a bold choice… you look nice.
I reach out and wrap my arms around Bree for a hug and whisper Merry Christmas into her ear. Amy looks at me tilting her head and I manage to point at my right knee and mouth a few words to her. She nods back and smiles. I knew she’d understand. I let go and Jaina gives Bree a hug in my place.
Jordan: Just thought I’d change it up a bit, you know?
Bree: Sure, babe. Why don’t you and Jaina head on in.
Jaina and I head in and she plays with Loki for a moment before coming to find me, sitting in a chair with a glass of some sort of juice in my hand. She sits on my lap and looks at me. I look back at her and giggle. She grabs the glass and takes a drink before handing it back to me. We talk for a bit before she perks up with an idea that seems layered with some bad intention.
Jaina: Hey, babe… you want a tour? We can see my room?
I smile and bite my lip a little bit wondering if this is one of those moments where the girl is up to no good, but in a way that I can’t get enough of.
Jordan: I’d love it, boo.
Jaina stands up and pulls me out of the chair and drags me behind her. I’m not sure anyone even saw us walk up the stairs and start heading up. She shows me a few rooms, but then we head into the attic and she turns and pushes her lips against mine immediately.
Jordan: Mmm… this is the tour I was hoping for.
Jaina: Shhh… just kiss me.
I giggle against her lips and push my tongue into her mouth, wrapping it around hers. The kissing seems to intensify between us and in no time we’re full on making out. I take control and she stumbles back a few feet against the wall. My hands pin her wrists to the wall behind her and she lets out a moan that only drives me further. I stop and take a nibble at her lip. We’re both breathing a little harder.
Jordan: Remember that time when you pinned me to the bed and laughed at how you were able to beat an SCW wrestler?
She nods and grins wickedly.
Jaina: It was like our first time.
I take another nibble and place another deep kiss against her lips before letting her hands go and wrapping my arms underneath her. I scoop her up and walk her toward the dresser, squeezing her butt as we walk. Her arms are wrapped around my neck and she’s facing down and still kissing me. I push her back against the wall as I sat her on the top of it and step back. I push her dress up to her waist and my hands grab her panties on each side and I slide them down. She giggles as I get caught on one of her heels. I can sense her anticipation and excitement at this spontaneous moment. I turn and toss those panties on the bed and turn back and dive between her legs. Her hands go to my head and I hear her sighing and lightly moaning. This wasn’t what I got her for Christmas, but in this moment it was the gift she wanted. I was in complete control. I feel her fingers wrapping around my hair. I know how much she’s loving what I’m doing with my tongue. My fingers put pressure on her thighs as I hold them open, her legs dangling near my shoulders. I hear a foreign noise that I know none of us are responsible for.
Bree: Ladies, are you up here — OH MY GOD!!
I feel Jaina’s legs close around my head and she seems to be pushing me away. I know that voice I heard as I stumble back to the floor and look up to see Jaina looking like a deer that’s about to be run over by a speeding semi. I turn back to see a deeply red-faced Bree right as she runs back out the door and takes off. Looking back at Jaina I see her covering her face as she sits on that dresser and I can’t help but laugh a little bit. Breaking the silence I have to say something.
Jordan: Uhh… oops…
Jaina: Oh gods. Oh gods, Jordan.
Jaina hops off the dresser and marches right to the bed to grab her underwear. I stand quickly, even stumble a little bit. She notices that and stops before she goes to put her panties back on.
Jaina: Is your knee hurting again?
Jordan: Uh, it’s fine.
Jaina: No, really. I thought it was all fine. Not the limping like this.
Even though this had just happened with Bree, I’m taken back by Jaina’s immediate reaction as she reaches out and grabs me and looks at me very seriously.
Jaina: What’s going on?
Jordan: It’s just been a little sore since the ladder match. Nothing is wrong.
Jaina: A little sore? Babe, that’s 24 days ago. Get it looked at, please.
Jordan: Ok, ok. Are we gonna talk about what just happened?
Jaina stops and covers her face as she looks down and thinks. I quickly put an arm around her and pull her in tightly.
Jordan: It’s alright. Bree was just surprised. She probably never expected to ever see you that way. But you’re a grown woman. And she just walked right in.
Jaina: As long as Aunt Bree doesn’t say anything, it’s fine. I’m just embarrassed. Did you see the look on her face?
I laugh and shrug my shoulders.
Jordan: I’ve never seen her look like that before, but I was a little busy thinking about how you look tonight and how you sounded when I had you on that dresser.
I reach around and place both hands on her butt and kiss her neck and for a moment she seems to be falling right back under my spell. She laughs and stops me.
Jaina: We need to go back downstairs. Make sure we don’t have to play damage control or anything.
I reach for her hand and once again I allow her to tug me around the house and lead me to exactly where she wants to go. As we reach the rest of the guests for this Christmas get-together, I see Bree standing on the other side of the room. She’s still burning a little red on her cheeks. Her eyes are still a little wide as she stands next to Dom. I whisper into Jaina’s ear, smiling the whole way.
Jordan: I think we broke your aunt.
Jaina looks over at Bree and tried not to make it obvious, but Bree catches us both looking at her and she turns away quickly . Jaina turns and speaks quietly under her voice.
Jaina: Yeah, let’s not test her and see what happens… oh and if you don’t think we’re not finishing that back at your apartment later then you’re crazy.
She gives me that wild look and I suck my bottom lip under my top teeth and bite down mischievously.
Jordan: Can’t wait, boo.
December 27 – Kenner, Louisiana
I open my eyes to a familiar scene. This is my bedroom in Omaha again. These dreams have become more and more frequent. I wish I could just force myself awake, but I’m watching and participating unwillingly. My mom comes into the room and she grabs me by the forearm and starts to drag me toward my door. I’m trying to stop her because I know what’s coming next. She turns and strikes me in the legs with her arm and I fall to the floor in a heap like any normal 8-year-old child. She drags me across the floor and then tosses me into the living room. This is about a mess. Her mess. This is about why I haven’t swept the floor to clean up all the glass that she’s spilled. To clean up the stickiness that comes with the spilt liquor. This was because she’d stepped on a needle. She picks something up off the floor and shakes it in front of my face as she screams obscenities in a drunken tirade. Then she slaps my tear-stained cheeks. Someone foreign is grabbing me and I jerk awake to find Jaina holding on to me and stroking my hair.
Jaina: You’re doing it again. Thrashing about in your sleep. Mumbling. Was it her again?
I nod and keep my head on the pillow as I look up at the ceiling.
Jordan: It’s becoming more frequent. Like the more I ignore her. The more I dream about her. It sucks.
Jaina smiles and cuddles up against me. She was supposed to be staying at Bree’s tonight so naturally she gets away with staying another night with me. I turn to look at the clock and see 6:45 a.m. At least this nightmare allowed me to sleep. I sit up and dangle legs off the bed as Jaina rubs my back.
Jordan: I’ll be back.
Jaina: Ok.
I tiptoe to the bathroom and go straight to the sink. I splash some water in my face and reach for that trusty bottle to take a Valium. I hear something in the distance and ignore it as I swallow the pill down and look in the mirror at the tired face that stares back. I sigh right as I hear the door open and Jaina talking to someone. At 6:45 in the morning? Who the hell would be here?
Jaina: Uh… Jordan?
Jaina is yelling from the other room and I peek out from the bathroom to see she has pants back on and is standing with the door open. Someone is outside, but I’m not sure who it is. As I walk forward I grab a pair of shorts and slip them on, smiling curiously at Jaina. But she’s not smiling at all. Her face is emotionless. Unreadable. I’m confused by her glance as I reach her and look at who’s in the doorway. And my heart sinks from my chest through my feet.
Christina: Kylie! You’ve been ignoring me!?
I’m speechless. There stands a woman I haven’t seen in three years. That I haven’t actively spoken to in longer. She looks rough. Her hair is messy and stringy. She has too much makeup on as if she’s trying to hide how weathered her face has become by her bad habits. A cigarette hangs out of her mouth. I can’t remember a time I’ve seen her looking in rougher shape than she looks right now in my doorway.
Christina: Are you gonna let your mother in?
Jordan: Why are you here? How did you find me?
Christina: It took me some time, but I figured out where you were and who you were with…
She looks Jaina up and down. Almost disgustingly. I look over at Jaina and she seems shocked. She looks sad. I turn back.
Jordan: Christina, why the fuck are you here?
Christina: Don’t talk to your mother like that! Aren’t you going to introduce me to that thing?
I shove her and put a finger in her face. Jaina grabs me and pulls me back. Christina looks surprised. She looks weak. She places a hand against the wall on the outside of the door and leans into it.
Christina: Kylie? I didn’t mean anything by it. She’s a pretty girl.
I try to calm myself. The only thing keeping me together is Jaina. Still, just the frustration has my eyes filling with tears.
Christina: Maybe I should go?
Jaina: Ma’am, wait.
I look over my shoulder at Jaina and then turn to face her. She tilts her head and smiles somehow. In all of this she smiles and it makes me smile back at her.
Jaina: Talk to her. You need to.
I turn back to see her standing there. She looks terrible. I reach up and wipe the tears away and face her.
Jordan: What are you doing here?
Christina: Things aren’t going well for me. I need money.
Jordan: You know I can’t give you money. I can’t write you a check or transfer you anything. The trust was set up that way.
Christina: Well, I need a place to stay.
Jordan: Why? And why on earth do you think I’d ever let you stay here?
Christina: The house is gone. They took it.
I feel my mouth drop open. That house – the place of childhood pain and adult nightmares – it wasn’t hers anymore. I didn’t even know how to feel about the development. It was equal parts sad and satisfying. But I didn’t have an answer for her.
Jaina: I’m sure you could stay here with Jordan for awhile?
I instantly turn back to Jaina with a look on my face that she knows immediately. Why? I knew her intentions were good. She walks closer.
Jaina: Jordan, we’re on the road so much. You barely spend any time here anyway. Why can’t you let her stay here for a little bit and get on her feet and then she can move on. I’m not suggesting you do this permanently.
Christina: So it really is a thing. You hated Kylie so much that you decided to go by a completely different name?
Jordan: Mom!?
I turn back. It’s the first time I’ve called her that to her face in a long time. She’s standing in my apartment now and I can see she has everything she had left with her in a single, small suitcase. It was small enough to carry on to an airplane. I felt defeated. As defeated as I have every single time I’ve lost to Ravyn or anyone else in these last few months. I turned and walked a few feet in and sat down and buried my face in my hands. More frustration.
Christina: Listen, I understand why you wouldn’t want to see me. I’ve not been a very good mother.
That was the fucking understatement of the last few centuries.
Christina: But, I have nowhere else to go. Your father left us 22 years ago. He’s gone and off with a new family. You’re all I have.
I look up at her and cross my arms. It’s almost easy to forget Jaina is just awkwardly standing in this small apartment right now. Watching this unfold.
Jordan: I’m not even your daughter.
Christina: You think blood is all that matters? You’re all I’ve ever had. And I’m sorry I mistreated you.
Jordan: I don’t think I can do this.
Christina: What if we tried? What if I stayed and slept on your couch for a few days?
I look around my apartment and lock eyes with Jaina. She sees my distress and comes over to me. Her hand rests on my shoulder and I look back at Christina.
Jordan: Listen, you can stay here today and tonight. But I need to spend some time and really think about this. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you for all the terrible stuff you put me through. I was a child? I was innocent? You tried to take it all away from me. I…
I stand and walk out of the room toward the bathroom. Jaina is right behind me and I don’t even know it. I reach for the bottle of Naproxen and Jaina grabs my wrist, looking at me. Her brow furrowed.
Jaina: What are you doing?
Jordan: They’re for my knee.
She pulls me away from the bottle toward her and grabs both of my hands.
Jaina: Don’t take too much of that. It can be bad on your stomach…
She leans forward and plants a kiss on my lips and then looks into my eyes.
Jaina: No matter what you want to do here, I support you. I’m sorry if I overstepped my boundaries, but I don’t see what else to do with her. She traveled all the way here from Nebraska. Give it a day if you can or kick her out, this is your choice. I know you’ve told me enough to know she’s awful. Gods, I get it. I saw the way she was looking at me in the doorway like I was some creature. But babe, she needs you for the first time ever. I think you know that you have to help her if you can.
All I can do is nod, and sigh. I look out to the room and the door is still open, but Christina has migrated to the kitchen and she’s eating leftover takeout Chinese food. Not even sure how old it is. I cringe and feel my stomach doing knots as I walk to the bar area of the kitchen and lean down.
Jordan: Listen, mom, you can stay here tonight.
Christina: Oh! Kylie! Thank god for you.
Jordan: If, you follow my rules we can think about something beyond this. You know you have to behave yourself. I don’t want to catch you in here doing drugs.
Christina: I’m clean, baby.
I look her up and down and raise a brow. It’s obvious she’s not. I know this is going to be the strike that likely sees me kicking her ass out of here.
Jordan: Uh, huh… so why don’t you go back to the bathroom and get cleaned up and we can go get breakfast or something because that food is old and I don’t want you getting sick all over my place. Ok?
Christina nods and puts the food on the counter. She walks toward me like she wants to hug me and I shake my head no and move out of the way. As she heads into the bathroom and closes the door, I sigh hard and sit down on the couch, soon to be mom’s bed for the night.
Jordan: I hope I don’t end up regretting this.
Jaina sits down next to me and looks at me a little suspiciously at first. I can tell she’s waiting for me to invite a question.
Jordan: What?
Jaina: So, babe. When the hell were you going to mention that your name isn’t even Jordan?
I roll my eyes and let out the softest laugh. Just enough to make her smile, but she still seemed to be waiting for more of an answer.
Jordan: I was sort of hoping I’d never have to tell you.
Jaina: I like Kylie. Kylie is a cute name.
She is teasing me to break the tension and we both just stare at each other with a smile and a knowing nod. I knew deep down that if she wasn’t here, I might have shoved that bitch Christina down the stairs and left her outside. Of course that probably would have never happened. Because my weakness continues to be my heart. It’s the same reason I wouldn’t tell Abigail to get lost and I try to be cordial instead. It’s the same reason my mom knows how to manipulate me. As I look at Jaina, I hope this time will be different.
Promo
A camera turns on and Jordan is shown standing in front of it and adjusting it until she backs away and sits down in a chair. She leans forward and looks into the camera lens and then nods.
I’ve had a lot of time lately to just sit back and reflect on 2019. All the highs. All the lows. I’ll admit there were some good moments. But most of those happened in my personal life. A lot of what happened for me career-wise, well, that’s a big pile of suck. Obviously my short run of beating on Dark Fantasy was a good one. I’ve heard rumor that it might have been nominated by some magazine as one of the funnest feuds this year in SCW. But my summer and early fall fun is capped off by a lot of losing. I didn’t outright win a match in my last two months of the year. The one Jake and I won last week, it was by disqualification. And so this year goes out much like it began for me. With a whimper. I’ll be the first one to admit, I hampered myself. Any chance I had of developing a rhythm or momentum at the beginning of last year, it went out the window when I decided to take a seat and rethink this. For me, it just wasn’t working. The years I spent preparing myself to enter this level of the business, they didn’t really give me what I needed. Sure, I’m still young, but I’ve been on these circuits since I was 17. I felt like I was ready for this. I was mistaken. When I came back, I hit the ground running. There were some notable stumbles early. No one will soon forget me offering Peyton Rice money for her belt or Aaron Blackbourne knocking me the hell out. Lesser talents might have walked away after that. But I kept on and managed to make myself a pretty nice moment at Rise to Greatness. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit empty soon after.
This year has been such a good, yet complicated year for me personally. Of course I inherited this incredible trust that changed my life. Packaged around Rise to Greatness, though, was a very public breakup with my tag partner in that very match. It was never meant to go down the way it did. And it seems that very moment is what led to this blood feud with Ravyn and the rest of Dark Fantasy. It seems everywhere we go, the other one is there. I didn’t know where to turn after things went south with Abigail. Other things just fell into place for me, and I’m happier now with my personal life. Then, Jake happened. And while I did know beforehand that Jake Starr was my brother, I never expected anyone else to find out. At least not the way they did. It’s been so interesting to connect with a brother I did not grow up with because of family circumstances. We’ve grown a lot as a team even though we’ve lost a few matches. And I can feel our bond growing like I never would have suspected it would. We’re connected just like any other siblings would tell you. It feels like we could accomplish anything we want to. But the road ahead of us would be tough. We know it. We’ll accomplish whatever we do together. My friends are as good as ever. Bree is an amazing mentor and she’s become almost like a best friend. I know Sienna will always have that moniker with her though. I’m not mad. Although I admit I sometimes feel like family and friends are pulling me in opposite directions. It’s a stress I never expected in teaming with Jake. Luckily, we all have our own goals right now. Mine is to win with him. But this opportunity has opened my eyes to something different.
Should I sit here and tell you I want to dethrone Sienna for the title? Probably not. Should I exclaim that I deserve this more than Bree? They would both remind me that it’s out of place for me to say such a thing. But chances like this? Opportunities like this? They don’t come around all that often for someone like me who has to fight and scrap for everything they are given. No, I take that back. Earned. I haven’t been given anything here. Despite where I stood six or seven months ago, demanding I be given any and everything I want, I sit here today knowing if I want anything in this company I’m going to have to absolutely bust my ass to even get the chance to be recognized or be placed in a position to win anything. It’s not that I haven’t had chances, it’s just that in three chances I’ve only looked like I deserved to be there once. As I look at 2020 and the landscape of this company, I know there is a unique chance for some fresher talents to take a big step up and insert themselves into the hunt for the big titles. That’s not all this is about for me, but I know what performing well in this match could mean for my career. I know what winning this match would do for my career, even knowing what it might do to my friendships. But this business is all about sacrifice. We sacrifice our bodies and our minds. Our hearts and our souls. Along the way we make friends and enemies, and sometimes our friends become our enemies and vice versa. I look at this match and I only see a golden ticket for someone to prove they belong. Clarity cleared the deck at the top. I would be stupid not to enter this match, roll the dice, give it everything I’ve got and see what happens. Hell, anyone would be stupid not to give this a shot. I’ve beaten legends before. I’ve hung with some of the best this company has to offer. It feels like those proverbial brass rings are just hanging there, just out of reach and I just have to give it that extra effort to reach and grab them and do something to prove myself. This is my freaking chance. I can feel it.
Exactly one year ago, I walked into this company and entered this very match. The stakes were nowhere near as high, but you couldn’t have told me any difference. I was an absolute fireball in that match. I was flying around the ring, looking to make an impression, and I think I did. But it wore off. Any ounce of good graces that I garnered from that performance? Gone. That’s how I feel now about that big win against Ravyn that everyone wanted to talk about for a month. It’s old news now. I can’t continue to live on these big moments that happened in the past. I can’t continue to pretend they hold weight well into the future. It’s time to make moments regularly. It’s time for Jordan Majors to be more than just a background player. I love my friends and my family, but I can’t just live in the role of their friend or his sister. I want to show everyone what I know to be true in my heart, and that’s that I’m one of the best damn wrestlers on this whole planet. I’m not content to just play the role that they want to cast me in. I’m done standing around while he talks for me or while they talk for me. I want more. If I have to stand on my own, then so be it. This match means so much to me. I know how pissed off it made Sienna, and I’m sure the Beauty Factory is somewhere trying to draw up litigation over a freaking Trios cash in because they’re so angry. But me? I’m delighted by it. Someone is going to get a chance to make their star shine bright because of this. And I’m going to do everything it takes to make sure that person who is the bright shining star is going to be yours truly.
Jordan leans back in her chair and a smirk grows across her face.
Listen, I know there are so many out there who will hear me say that and you will roll your eyes back and shake your head because you don’t think I’m shit. You see me and you have me slotted right where you think I belong in SCW. You don’t think I belong wrestling at the level of James Evans or Owen Cruze. Sienna Swann, Bree Lancaster or Syren. There are so many names in that crowded main event scene. Jordan, you just need to stay where you belong. Well I say you don’t get to decide where I belong. My actions get to dictate where I’ll be in this company in 2020. Maybe they’ve boxed me in and they’re going to force me to bust my way out, but I’m not going to let anything stop me from shattering this ceiling above me and breaking down these walls with a sledgehammer. I’m not going to let anyone or anything decide what my destiny is going to be. I get to decide that. So why not start the new year off with the biggest proverbial bang I possibly can? No, I’m not talking about me and my girlfriend later that night. There will be plenty of time for celebration and a little bit of champagne after the match. I want there to be a real reason to celebrate. Why not do it? Why not just win this whole goddamn thing? Why not just throw caution into the wind and see what happens if I bring absolute chaos to the order of this company and rise to the top as its champion? It’s the move absolutely no one would expect. And who says I can’t do it?
That’s a problem I can’t have anymore. I can’t listen to what everyone else is saying about me. I can’t get caught up in Ravyn telling me that I’m obsessed with her when I know it’s the opposite. I can’t get mad about Syren saying I should feel honored to have the chance to share a ring with her. I’ve got to stop caring when someone like Kandis questions if I belong in the tag team title hunt or if I’m just messing up her chance. I’ve got to stop worrying about everyone else and only worry about me. This End of the Year Invitational match is the moment I show everyone that I honestly don’t give a fuck what they think about me and where they perceive I belong in this company. It’s my time to show them what it truly means when I say Jordan Majors is money. They can bank on it.
This is that great time of year when we all talk about our New Year’s Resolutions and then we all just drop them within a month and go about our lives until 11 months pass and it’s time to do this crap all over again. Well I see screw these resolutions. I’m making a freaking promise, to myself and to everyone out there who cares enough to listen. Jordan Majors is about to become a major player in SCW in 2020. I don’t want to be the star of tomorrow because I don’t want to wait that long. I have a sense or urgency and it tells me that it’s time to become a star now. It’s time to make sure when people see my name and they know they’re facing me that they understand they’re in for a challenge. This is not a resolution. No, this is a proclamation. 2020 will be the year or Jordan Majors. And it all starts at the invitational thanks to the kind gift of this trios cash in. If I… when I pull this off, I’m sorry Sienna. It’s really not as personal as you probably feel it is judging by how you’ve reacted to this on social media. I need to start taking something for myself. That SCW Championship? I think it’d look really good around my waist, don’t you?
Jordan stands up and motions an imaginary belt around her waist and smirks once more.
Nothing stands in my way at the Invitational. I’m coming for that title and I’m starting off the New Year as the champion of this company. I’m pushing all my chips all-in, I’m betting it all on black, I’m hitting it big and I’m cashing out. You’re looking at your next champion. You’re looking at the next big thing.
Jordan nods to the camera and reaches forward to end the video ends in darkness.
Everything You Wish You Could Be 