February 19, 2020 – Kenner, Louisiana
It took me a few days to completely come to terms with the end of Trios. I wanted to win it, as anyone would want. I came so far only to finish the tournament laying on my back while the other team celebrated their spoils in the very ring I laid in. I remembered laying there and staring straight up. The crowd noise was deafening. Of course, they loved their hero David Helms. Jordan Majors? She was just fodder for a legend who had barely even returned. Jake had run out to console me, but I more than likely gave him and everyone else the equivalent of a cold shoulder. There was no way to paint it any better. It sucked. A few days after that, I was back to as positive an attitude as I could muster. It was my 24th birthday. Despite what Jaina had initially proposed for us, I opted to something smaller. Not even a fancy restaurant. We dressed up nicely and went to a local pizza spot we both enjoyed and sat in that booth in the back corner that we’d occasionally shared. It felt a little ridiculous to label it as our spot. We’d only been together since October. And now we were engaged. So unreal.
Jaina: Jordan? Did you hear what I said?
Jordan: Hmm?
Jaina: Earth to the birthday girl.
I force a smile and take a drink from the glass of water in front of me, somewhat uncomfortably brushing hair out of my face.
Jaina: What’s going on?
Jordan: Just… I don’t know how to do this.
Jaina: We’ve had dinner here how many times?
Jordan: Birthdays. It’s rarely even been acknowledged in my life.
I could see the shock on her face. She didn’t know how to react. Who would? It’s not like any normal person would say something like that. Her reaction makes me sigh and I see her grasp at the necklace I got her for her birthday. On the end of that was the ring I’d given her the week before. Hell, days earlier. She did well to hide it from view most of the time. Still wanting to avoid questions from her family or friends. She’s me staring and tries to read my mind.
Jaina: Have you thought more about it?
Jordan: About?
Jaina: When we should tell everyone we’re engaged. This feels like a pretty dangerous secret for us to keep. When it gets out, we need to be prepared. I think it’s better off if it comes from our mouths rather than showing up online or someone else spilling it.
Jordan: Well who’s gonna even know?
Jaina: Babe, you plastered this on the side of one of Dallas’ most popular hotels on a weekend when the city was full of wrestling fans. How many Jaina’s do you know?
Jordan: I get your point.
Jaina: So?
I don’t say anything and just look away. She narrows her eyes and drops her grasp of that necklace.
Jaina: What’s going on with you?
Jordan: I’m just still a little disappointed to be honest.
Jaina: Why are you treating that match like your whole future depended on whether or not you won it? So it’s a bump in the road. You’ll recover.
Jordan: How do you know that though?
Jaina: What do you mean?
Jordan: How can you just assume I’ll recover from not winning this match?
Jaina: Recover? Gods, what are you saying? You’ve been great lately. Get your head out of your ass and get over this. It’s the only way to move forward.
I shake my head. It wasn’t exactly what I meant, but clearly her sentiment was what it was. She leans across the table and puts a hand on top of mine and then squeezes it.
Jaina: The only person that’s going to hold you back now is you. You know what you want, now go take it.
I look at her and a half smile forms on my face before I put my head down and nod.
Jordan: I didn’t mean to ignore answering your question, I just don’t know what we should do.
Jaina: I can’t believe you didn’t think about that a little before you dropped to a knee and asked me the question.
I laugh softly and shrug my shoulders.
Jordan: Have you known me as one to think things out very well before I jump and make a big decision? I let my mom move in with me without another thought after what you said about it. I turned on Abigail without more of a thought than what Bree said about it. I chose Bree in my mind basically the second I won the buy-in event. Now tell me, where was the deep decision making involved in that.
Jaina doesn’t seem to like that comment as she looks down at the table.
Jordan: What?
Jaina: Nothing… it’s just…
Jordan: What is it?
Jaina: When you put it like that, it almost sounds like you didn’t really think about whether we were ready for this. Like you just did it.
I let out a sigh. I’m not always the best at navigating important conversations. My Trios team probably thought I came across as deficient in this area from my failed impromptu pep talk before the event started.
Jordan: You know that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry.
Jaina shakes her head and leans both her arms on the table. I hang my head as someone approaches our table and puts a single cupcake on the table with a lit candle.
Waitress: Uhh… happy birthday?
I look up and nod to the waitress and she quickly moves away. I started to feel like I was ruining my birthday for Jaina.
Jordan: Hey, I proposed because I love you and I want to spend my life with you. That was my decision making. You’ve been the best thing that ever happened to me. When I was at my lowest, you lit the path ahead with nothing more than a smile.
Jaina smiles even though I can tell she doesn’t want to. She looks up to see if I caught her and then smiles wider and looks away.
Jordan: Are you mad at me?
Jaina: I was just a little frustrated with how you’re acting.
Jordan: I’m sorry about it. I’m letting it bother me more than I should. And, yes, we need to have some serious conversations about when we tell people we’re engaged. I know it’s possibly going to start up a shit storm and I know we’ll both deal with it from different sides. Hell, your dad might kill me.
Jaina: You’ve got to stop making that joke.
Jordan: Ok, but still. It’s a serious conversation we need to have. I just don’t want to have it on my birthday.
I touch a finger to the frosting on the cupcake and lick it off my finger. Jaina looks at me and bites her lower lip in a mischievous way that she knows can sometimes get me going. I dab my finger at the frosting again and fake her out, going for my mouth before reaching across the table and wiping it across her cheek. Her mouth shoots open in surprise and curls to a smile. I grab the cupcake and blow out the candle, pulling the small cake close to me so she can’t get her revenge.
Jaina: Gods, you’re too much sometimes.
Jordan: You love it.
I shoot her a wink and unwrap the cupcake and take a bite that leaves frosting around my lips. I grin as I chew the cupcake and watch her shaking her head at my actions. I know deep down she enjoys when I act a little bit like a child. It certainly broke all of the tension that started as we had finished off the pizza.
Jaina: How about we go back to Aunt Bree’s house and go in quietly to my room and just… have a little fun for the rest of the night.
Jordan: I’m sold. Check please!?
The waitress walked back over, but Jaina snatched the check away before I could and shot me a glance.
Jaina: It’s your birthday… I’ve got this.
I rolled my eyes and let her pay. As we headed to Bree’s, I intervened.
Jordan: Actually, drop me off at my apartment and I’ll drive over. I need to grab some things.
Jaina: Uh… you sure? What if your mom is there?
Jordan: It’ll be fine.
February 19, 2020 – My Apartment
I watched as Jaina drove away and approached my door and unlocked it. But as I pushed it open, something caught the door and kept it from pushing open. The slide lock was in place on the inside. Wait, I didn’t have a slide lock. I started rattling the door back and forth.
Jordan: Mom? Hello?
I heard a rustling inside. It sounded like that guy. Steve? Suddenly his face appeared at the door.
Steve: Kylie? You need to leave the area.
Jordan: I’m sorry, what?
Steve: You need to leave this apartment. You are not wanted here.
Jordan: Uh, newsflash Steve. This is my apartment. I’m letting her, and apparently you, stay here. Free of charge I might mention. So let me in my apartment so I can check on my mom and grab some things.
Steve: What do you need?
Jordan: What?
Steve: I’ll get it for you.
I’m starting to quickly lose my patience with this guy.
Jordan: Listen… open this fucking door and let me in.
Steve: There’s no need to be hostile.
Jordan: Mom!?
Steve: She doesn’t want to talk to you after what you did.
Jordan: What I did?
Steve: If you’re going to act like this, we won’t talk with you.
Steve slams the door and I hear him relock the deadbolt. I’m shocked by the development that occurred here. They’ve basically stolen my house from me. I fumble the keys in my hands and unlock the deadbolt only to hear it lock right back on the other side. I roll my eyes and unlock it again, but Steve, in all likelihood, locks it again. I take a step back and ready myself. Right when I unlock it I throw my shoulder into the door. It opens and catches on the newly installed slide lock and I bounce back and stumble down the steps on to my back. I hear Steve on the other side of the door picking himself up. And I hear my mom talking to him. I rush to the door and push it to keep it open.
Jordan: Mom!? Christina!? Let me in my goddamn place. What are you two trying to pull right now? Hello…
I see her appear in the open space of the door that is allowed by the slide lock.
Jordan: Why are you doing this? I wasn’t even going to bother you. I just wanted something out of my place…
She looks back at me looking completely worn down. I’d never seen her looking so tired.
Christina: Just go away.
I try to reach through the gap in the doorway to grab her and she quickly slams the door on my arm.
Jordan: Fuck! Ow!
She shuts the door and locks it as I stumble down the steps and see red and blue flashing lights illuminating my apartment and a pair of male police officers walking in my direction.
Jordan: Jesus. What a coincidence to have you here. Can you two help me get back into my apartment?
Officer: Mam, we got a call that someone was here harassing the occupants.
Jordan: Harassing? This is my apartment.
Officer: Do you have any identification on you?
Jordan: Uh… yes…
I reach into my bag and find my driver’s license and hand it over.
Officer: Can you stay right here, please?
One of the officers stays near me and stares at me while the other returns to his patrol car. I cross my arms and shake my head. Once these two confirm my name and address, they’d help me take care of this situation with my mom. It just irritated me that she was doing this. After all I had done for her when I didn’t need to do anything. I heard a car door shut and saw the officer returning.
Officer: Ms. Majors, I want you to know that we have a warrant for your arrest.
What!?
Officer: We understand you assaulted someone and we’re going to need you to come with us.
I look back at the officer in shock and confusement.
Jordan: I… I… what? I…
Officer: Can you please turn around and put your hands behind your back?
Jordan: I slowly follow these directions as the other officer starts to secure handcuffs on me and the officer who had been speaking comes around to my front.
Officer: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time. Do you understand these rights?
I hang my head and nod as the officers lead me to the patrol car and open up the back stashing me inside. What followed seemed like a blur. They took photos of me and processed me into a jail cell. Without the handcuffs, I paced back and forth for a bit with my arms crossed tightly. I was in jail. Wearing a dress. What the fuck was happening. There was a knock on the glass of the cell by a female officer and I walked over.
Officer: If you have anyone you’d like to call or to try and arrange bail, you can do so now.
Jordan: Can I just bail myself out?
Officer: Mam, do you have $5,000 on you right now?
I shake my head and she motions for me to follow her as she opens the door with another guard in tow. They led me down the hall and set me down and pushed a phone in front of me. I picked it up and dialed a number and listened to it ring for what felt like forever.
Jaina: Hello?
Jordan: Jay…
Jaina: Babe! Where are you? I’ve been waiting for you all night?
Jordan: Jay… I’m in jail.
The line goes deathly quiet as I wait for Jaina to say anything at all. She doesn’t.
Jordan: They’re saying I assaulted my mom.
Jaina still says nothing and I hang my head. The officers stand there around me just staring down at me. I put a hand up to my head and burt my face in it.
Jaina: What… what do you need me to do?
Jordan: Well, I need someone to come bond me out. I can’t pay for it myself because I don’t have that kind of money on me. So someone has to come get me out. I would appreciate it if you could do that…
It’s quiet again. I can tell Jaina is more shocked than I am. She doesn’t know what to say.
Jaina: I’ll take care of it.
Jordan: I’m really sorry. I don’t know what’s happening right now. This is just a huge mess.
Jaina: I’ll get you out as soon as I can.
The line goes quiet and I said hello a few times before realizing she’d left. The officers walk me back to my cell and this time I lay down on the bench inside and face the wall. I wanted to pull my knees to my chest and rock back and forth and cry, but I was in too much shock over this happening. Somehow, I fell asleep laying on the bench. I was awoken by a knocking on the glass of the open door.
Officer: Ms. Majors. You’re going home.
I was led out of the cell and to an area where they returned my items. I thanked them, like a person thanking a hotel for their hospitality, and exited the room waiting to see Jaina there to pick me up. But it was a night of continual shocks. It was Jason freaking Helms. He looked at me with his arms crossed and a smile and neither of us said anything until we were outside of the station.
Jordan: Why are you here?
Jason: Ok, firstly that was a lot of money you were asking Jaina to pony up. Secondly, you can trust me.
Jordan: I barely even know you.
Jason: You can trust me. About all of it.
I stopped in place and looked at him as he continued toward his car. He turned and walked backwards toward the vehicle and waved me on. Somehow, things just continued to get more and more complicated.
February 21, 2020 – Los Angeles
As I crept up to the door of an apartment on the west coast, I juggled keys in my hands and tried to find the right one for the door knob. I turned it and walked inside and wheeled my suitcase behind me. I turned and closed the door as a voice sounded behind me, making me jump.
Woman: Took you long enough…
I turned around and watched as a light flicked on to illuminate Abigail. She was wearing a robe, untied, which obviously showed her red bra and hip hugging underwear underneath. She waved me to follow her and I turned to get my suitcase.
Abigail: Leave that there for the night.
I thought about protesting but just kept on waving and I followed her through the home. This would seem weird to most. I could only imagine how it would look. But the truth was we’d been texting back and forth for awhile now. We’d made amends. I needed out of town for a few days and this “scouting talent” excuse was a good cover for me to get away from everything and just relax. Abi was the perfect neutral party to host me. Maybe if I’d been thinking I would have gone to New York instead. Josh will probably cover for me if I ask.
Abigail: You’ll be in here.
I look at Abi’s room in front of me and look back at her. She’s grinning. I have a feeling she’s planning for me to share her bed with her.
Jordan: Abs… I can sleep on the couch.
Abigail: No, no… it’s not comfortable at all. Join me. Let’s chat. It’s nice to talk to you outside of text messages.
I watch as she lays down on the bed and I lay down on my side on the other side and look at her.
Abigail: So no one knows you’re here?
Jordan: You know how that would look to people.
Abigail: I do.
Jordan: I needed like… a vacation from everything though.
I roll over to my back and put my hands on my stomach and stared up at the ceiling. Abi stayed on her side looking at me.
Jordan: Abi… I asked her to marry me.
Abigail: Oh… congrats I think? Not sure from the way you just said that.
I turn my head and look at her.
Abigail: How many people know?
Jordan: You. I think Jason Helms.
Abigail: Jason? Why him?
I let out a huffy laugh and close my eyes.
Jordan: He bailed me out of jail earlier this week. I think Jaina told him before he got me out.
Abigail stares at me, a little surprised. Then she laughs.
Abigail: Wow… what did you do?
Jordan: I punched my mom.
Abigail: Why were you around your mom? She’s terrible. I thought you stayed away from her.
Jordan: She lives in my apartment.
Abigail: I’m very confused. None of this sounds like you at all.
Jordan: Well… I guess it is now.
Abigail swings herself off of the bed and stands to grab a drink from a nearby dresser. She pours two glasses and walks over and sits at my feet. I sit up and start to drink whatever hard liquor she’d given me.
Abigail: I have to be honest… I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Bree finds out about that engagement. Also, I’m not sure that you should be living with your mom.
Jordan: Well, she sort of lives in my apartment and has locked me out. I’ve been staying at Bree’s house.
Abigail stares at me quietly and takes a drink from her own glass and continues her silence.
Jordan: Say whatever you need to say.
Abigail: It’s nothing, I was just thinking.
Jordan: Thinking what?
Abigail: Just thinking that you left me behind because of some drama between us and now you live in a world of constant drama.
Jordan: Abs, we’ve talked about this. And talked about not talking about this anymore.
Abigail: I know, and I’m sorry.
She nods and holds her glass in her lap.
Abigail: I know the mistakes that I made along the way. I know I was putting things with Ravyn over me and you and it sparked us both making a string of decisions that ended that for us. I’m just sorry about it.
Jordan: I know. And I am, too. But none of that has anything to do with what’s going on with me now.
Abi nods and I take a drink before sitting my cup on a bedside table.
Abigail: Do you think you’re ready? To get married to her?
Jordan: I think so.
Abigail: You think? I’d think that’s something you’d want to know. That’s a huge commitment, you know?
Jordan: You think I don’t know that!?
Abigail: I’m not trying to fight with you. It just wasn’t a reassuring answer.
I feel myself getting a little frustrated. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. In some ways she’s right. I lean my head back against the headboard and close my eyes tightly to calm myself down. I let out an easy sigh and look at Abi. She was letting me have my moment. And I was suddenly calm. I realized her hand was resting on my ankle, her thumb moving up and down. She looked a little concerned.
Abigail: Jordan… what’s going on with you? Are you ok?
I watched her hand and her thumb resting on my leg. For some reason I didn’t stop her. It was probably against better judgement, but I didn’t hate it.
Jordan: Honestly? I don’t know.
Abigail: I thought things were going well. Your business deal was intriguing. I’m proud to see what you’re doing in the ring. But outside of it, it’s hard to tell if you’re running strong or you’re about to crumble into pieces.
Abigail stops and stands. She sits her glass next to mine and sits on the edge of the bed next to me.
Abigail: You can tell me anything. I promise.
I look up at her and smile.
Jordan: I know. Let’s just have some fun for a few days. That’s what I need.
Abigail smiles and squeezes my arm and stands up and walks out of the room. I stand up out of the bed and take my shoes and socks and jeans off. I reach behind and unhook my bra and pull it out from under my shirt and drop it on the ground. As I turn to crawl into the bed, I see Abigail standing in the doorway looking me up and down like a meal. I slip under the covers and turn my back to her. She crawls in on her side, turning off the lamp next to her bed before facing me.
Abigail: Good night…
I could feel her heat close to my skin. It felt somehow like I was unfaithful to even innocently share the bed with her. But before I knew it, I drifted to a deep sleep. I woke up to light shining in the apartment. There was no alarm forcing me to get up and get to business. There were no responsibilities. No mom. Just freedom. Abigail was even closer to me, wrapped around me from behind with an arm around my stomach, just under my chest. I could feel her skin almost glued to mine. It brought back a rush of memories of waking up exactly like this less than a year ago. I tried to move and she smiled and woke up.
Abigail: Good morning… I’ll get us something to eat.
Part of me felt like the cuddling wasn’t so innocent. Not two exes trying to be friends. But no part of me hated it at all. A part of me liked it. And that had me conflicted. It started to feel obvious that I was playing with fire just by being here. As I watched her get out of bed and I thought back on some of those memories rushing through my mind I realized just how fast everything had been happening over the past year. I felt the panic coming over me and I quickly got out of the bed and made my way toward the entryway. I pushed my suitcase over and frantically searched through my luggage for the orange bottle — the valium that seemed to bring me as much comfort and relief as anything in my life. I shook out a pill and tossed it into my mouth and swallowed it down. I turned to see Abigail standing there in her kitchen staring at me. She wasn’t concerned at all.
Abigail: You don’t have to tell me anything about that. You look tired. Go lie down. I’ll make breakfast.
I was confused. There was no pressure. No strings. This played with my head so much. She was just being herself though. The rest of the trip was not so complicated though. We talked about our past. Both of our hopes for the future. She was supportive. Unexpectedly supportive. She just told me to make sure I was ready for everything that would be coming. And to make sure the next time I’m going to get myself arrested to contact her. I left needing to meet up with everyone for Breakdown in North Carolina. And I had a lot to figure out with my looming legal troubles.
February 26, 2020 – Raleigh, North Carolina
Backstage at Breakdown, Jake and I sat in the trainer’s room and watched the show. He had been hurt earlier in the night during his title defense. His title was gone. The trainers were out attending to another roster member. He was trying to keep his spirits up. I knew he was putting on a front. Much like he had been there after Trios for me, I tried to be here for him in this moment. He sighed and put an arm up his forehead.
Jordan: What’s wrong?
Jake: Just wondering what’s next. Titles come and go. The moment after you lose is always about what’s next.
I think about that for a moment and raise a brow.
Jordan: So what’s next for me? I just lost the Trios. I’ve never even held a title.
Jake: What? You’re the buy-in champion!?
Jordan: That’s not a thing!
Jake: It can be a thing… if you just believe it!
I shake my head while rolling my eyes and turn back to the monitor.
Jake: You don’t have to stay in here…
I snap my glance right back at him.
Jake: You and I both know you’d rather be following around Bree or that girl.
Jordan: Her name is Jaina!
Jake: Yeah, yeah.
Jordan: I’m still back here because…
I pause and look down at my feet, dangling to the floor from the counter I sat on.
Jake: Because you’re dying? Shit… uhh… listen, I…
Jordan: Wait, what? I’m not dying?
Jake: I know.
Jordan: Why did you say that then?
Jake shrugs his shoulders from his seated position and just smiles.
Jordan: I had some things I needed to say, but I don’t know.
Jake: Just speak up. I won’t judge.
Jordan: Umm, ok… well… I punched my mom…
Jake: You monster!
Jordan: You said you wouldn’t judge me, dick!
Jake: Wait, your mom or our mom!?
Jordan: Mine. My adopted one.
Jake: Oh, alright. So what about it.
Jordan: She decided to press charges against me and I got arrested.
Jake lets out a soft laugh and shakes his head.
Jake: So now my sister is a jailbird. Awesome.
Jordan: Shut up!
Jake started to say something, but I tuned him out for a moment and focused on Sasha on the screen as she spoke. My entire body perked up when I heard her say my name. It dawned on me, all of the sudden, that I’d just been booked in a match for the Adrenaline Championship. I stood up quickly and slipped to the floor, coming up to my knees and pointing at the monitor as Jake looked at me like I was crazy.
Jake: What’s wrong with you? Are you having a medical event?
Jordan: I just got booked into a match for the Adrenaline title!?
Jake: Oh, well, cool. Go win that thing.
I stood up and looked at him and narrowed my eyes.
Jordan: What’s wrong with you?
Jake: I’m injured. Did you watch my match? Oh yeah, you didn’t see it because you were backstage with your buddies, right?
Jordan: That’s not fair. I ran back here before anyone. Why are you acting weird about me getting an opportunity like this.
Jake: I’m not.
Jordan: Yes you are.
Jake: No I’m not! Now go play in some lube or something and do whatever it is you do with that girl —
Jordan: Jaina! You know her name! Stop it.
Jake: Why the hell do you get so uptight about things like that? I’m just having fun with you and it’s like any little spark can set you off. Your a damn powder keg of anger and emotion. Just get that shit out, sis.
Jordan: You don’t understand.
Jake: Of course I don’t. Because you don’t tell me anything. You won’t tell me what you’re thinking about anything. I don’t know whether to expect you to have my back or not. Maybe you can’t because you have to help those other friends of yours. I came back here and have done all I can to help you. You just abandon me anytime you can. So excuse me if I crack jokes about your loyalties and expect that you have to run off to some girl when I could use a friend… my sister to stand by me.
I stand up and put both my hands on a nearby rolling table with a of medical supplies and toss it across the room toward the door. It smashes and the supplies go everywhere.
Jake: And that right there is probably why you punched your mom…
I ball up my fist and punch into the padding that he was laying on. My face felt like it was burning red with anger. I look at Jake and he was shaking his head at me.
Jake: What is wrong with you? Calm the hell down.
Jordan: We’re engaged!
Jake: No we aren’t! You’re my sister, dude.
I try to calm myself down and I speak a little more quietly.
Jordan: Jaina and I. We’re engaged.
Jake looks at me a little shocked and then looks down and nods his head. Then shakes it side to side. It’s clear he’s processing this for the best response.
Jake: Jordan… why?
Jordan: What do you mean, why?
Jake: Why would you get engaged?
I don’t have an immediate answer and he sighs. It’s not what I expected from him. It’s usually all jokes.
Jake: Listen, I support you always. No matter what. This is not a judgement when I say this. But she’s very young. You, you’re still very young. You two have been together, what, a month or two?
It had been longer, but I got what he was saying.
Jake: Are you sure this is the right move for both of you? Why is it so important to get married to her?
Jordan: I…
Jake looks at me like he’s waiting for some answer from me. Something that is compelling. Something that explains all of this.
Jordan: I love her and I…
I shrug and I look down. I push my hands into my hair. I’m trying to be calm, but I still feel the anger boiling just above the surface. Still ready to explode.
Jake: You need to take some time and really think about this. You need to make sure you two aren’t rushing this. What’s the race? If you two are meant to be, then you’re meant to be. I don’t see any reason why you two should be married so quickly. You’ve got so much going on right now with your career. She does, too. And the stuff with your mom. Maybe you should be focusing on some other things. You need to ask yourself: Does she make you better? Do you make her better? Can you two do this together?
I couldn’t sit here and listen to his advice. I shook my head and crossed my arms as I looked at the door.
Jake: Just think about it. Think about what you’re doing before you commit to this too much. Don’t hurt her. Don’t hurt yourself at the same time.
I could feel my eyes wanting to well up with that ridiculous salty discharge. But I wasn’t going to be like that. I knew the feelings that were swirling in my head, playing terrible games with my heart that were killing me by the day.
Jordan: You know what… just enjoy your fucking loss and sit here nursing your injury. You’re weak!
Jake: Stop! You don’t mean that. Calm down for a second.
Jordan: I’m going to leave.
I walk past Jake and pull the door open, hitting the objects I’d scattered across the ground and pushing my way through. I could hear Jake trying to get up to follow and struggling. The training staff passed me in the hallway and ran in to take care of him. I don’t care what he thought about any of this. He was the last person that I was going to let control me or judge me.
March 4, 2020 – Denver, Colorado
Things had blown over after the last Breakdown. Jake and I had talked a bit over text and I had calmed down. Sitting in the locker room after the show, I heard the door open and close and turned to see Jaina walking in. She had a look I hadn’t really seen before. The locker room was pretty cleared out at this point, but a few were still hanging out. Jaina surveyed the room and then looked at me. She nodded her head a bit and walked around the corner to an empty room of showers. She went as far from the door as possible and stood near a wall, crossing her arms.
Jordan: Hey, something going on? You look pissed!
Jaina didn’t say anything at all, but her demeanor became even more sour as she looked at me.
Jordan: Jay?
Jaina: So a few weeks ago, when you went to Los Angeles, what was it you were doing?
Jordan: I told you. Josh and I went out there to scout the talent for IFW.
Jaina: And so you two went to the beach then? And he took a picture of you in a bikini?
I froze for a moment. What was I thinking when I put that photo up. My mind scrambled.
Jordan: Uh, no. There was a girl nearby and I asked her to take it so I had a picture.
Jaina shook her head and looked down. I feel a slight amount of panic coming over me.
Jordan: What is going on? Why are you all worked up over a bikini shot?
Jaina: You left your phone in Bree and Sienna’s locker room.
I felt my face go white. I felt my heart sink into my stomach. My mouth was dropped open.
Jaina: Abigail texted you… what the fuck, Jordan? Abigail!? Seriously?
I cross my arms and let out a careful breath before I try to go forward and then try to play it off.
Jordan: So…
Jaina: You went to see her in LA, didn’t you? Was Josh even there?
Jordan: I told you, I–
Jaina: Don’t lie to me. Don’t!
Jordan: I went to see her, yes.
Jaina: Why? Why did you need to see her?
Jordan: I wanted to get away for a few days after the arrest and I wanted some time with someone who didn’t have any opinions.
Jaina: And you thought we couldn’t do that together? Really? What was I going to think about the situation beyond fully supporting you? We get engaged–
Jordan: Jaina, quieter…
Jaina stops talking completely and stares a hole through me.
Jaina: Why did you go see her? What were you doing?
Jordan: Nothing! We just hung out. I stayed at her place and we just hung out.
Jaina: Gods… you stayed at her place?
Jordan: Nothing happened. We’re friends.
Jaina: You of all people know how that looks to me. Owen strung me along for months making me think maybe he and Peyton had something else going on. I just wanted him to consider my feelings and he put me in a position to make him choose. And he didn’t choose me. Why are you making me feel like I’m in this same situation again?
I shake my head and throw my hands up in the air.
Jordan: Oh, stop being so insecure.
Jaina: Insecure? You kept this from me? You lied to me? Why? Why shouldn’t I think the worst?
Jordan: Because you should trust me.
Jaina: Excuse me if my trust has been abused before.
Jordan: Jaina! There was nothing going on between them! And lay off Peyton, too.
Jaina’s eyes looked like they could pop out of her head.
Jaina: Excuse me?
Jordan: Stop overreacting about this. I’m allowed to have friends.
Jaina: She’s your ex-girlfriend and she was a total asshole to you. You told me all about it. You were a broken version of yourself when you showed up around me. Now suddenly things are just better?
Jordan: I forgave her. Just like you forgave Owen. What’s the difference?
Jaina: Owen has a girlfriend and I’m not actively seeking out opportunities to stay overnight with him. How can you not see that difference?
Jordan: Because nothing is going on!
The room goes quiet and I realize how loud we had gotten. On the other side of the wall I hear the locker room door slam shut. I’m sure the rest of the room had cleared out.
Jaina: When I saw you like a few of her suggestive tweets, I wanted to believe there was nothing to it. But now, looking through your phone…
Jordan: You had to look through my phone? You couldn’t just trust me? You couldn’t just calmly ask me and let me give you an answer?
I shake my head and cross my arms again, pushing my leg out just a bit and letting out a deep, frustrated sigh.
Jaina: Don’t you try to push this back on me! This is about you lying to me and going to stay with your ex-girlfriend!
Jordan: You know what! Fuck this! I don’t need any of this.
I turn and walk back into the locker room and start to gather my stuff.
Jaina: Don’t you walk away from me. We need to talk about this!
Jordan: I’m done talking about this. This is bullshit!
I scoop my stuff into a bag and start to look for my phone, forgetting what she had said. I turn to see her holding it out, knowing exactly what I was looking for. I reach for it and she pulls it away, annoying me.
Jordan: Give me my damn phone.
Jaina: No, I want to talk about this. I want us to sit here and talk about this.
Jordan: I’m done talking. This isn’t talking. It’s just you badgering me about shit. I’m not allowed to have friends except who you agree with? Fuck that. We’re not talking about it if that’s the case. Give me my phone.
Jaina: No!
I drop my bag and go for her hand with both my hands. She spins away to try and keep it, but I grab her from behind and grab at the phone. I pry her fingers away as I try to get the phone away and she struggles.
Jaina: NO!
The door swings open and a female janitor walks in to see what’s happening. The opening makes Jaina release the phone and stand up. She runs her hands along her front and fixes her dress as I grab my bag and walk toward the door.
Jaina: This isn’t done, Jordan!
Jordan: Oh, I bet.
Jaina: Jordan! Stop!
I could hear the stress in Jaina’s voice as I stormed past the janitor and through the open door, leaving Jaina standing there alone. This probably wasn’t the best way to end an argument. In fact, it didn’t really end it all. As I walked through the hallways I looked at my phone and opened my contacts. I looked at one of the first numbers that showed up. With a look over my shoulder to confirm I was alone, I called it. I needed someone to tell me I wasn’t in the wrong. I needed someone to just let me live!
Promo
A camera flips on and records part of a hotel room before the view turns back to show Jordan Majors sitting on a bed. She uses the image of herself in the phone camera to play with her blonde hair for a moment before staring straight into it. She adjusts her glasses.
So, looks like your girl is about to go back to the tag team circuits this week with her big brother. First things first, I want to settle some rumors that I’ve been hearing and seeing floating around in the wrestling atmosphere. Jake and I are fine. You think because we had a battle at the buy-in and because he didn’t make it as far as I did that we would be at odds? You think just because he lost the TV title to Damian Angel that he’s going to be mad at me forever? These things aren’t even beginning to crawl under our skin. We are siblings. We have issues, but ultimately we have love for each other. Why else would he be running down after Trios to check on his kid sister while she lies on her back and watches the winning team celebrate? Why else would his sister be the first one to check on him after he lost that title and suffered a bit of an injury? He’s fine, by the way. Thanks for asking.
Jordan rolls her eyes for a moment and keeps the camera close up on her face.
That’s just the thing. We are great. We have made each other better in the ring whether it’s as teammates or as opponents. Last time we shared a ring as teammates we beat the tag team champions. The very champions that our opponents this week so badly want to get into the ring with and defeat for those coveted tag team titles. We didn’t get any reward from it but a pat on the back, but the point is as much as the Connection deserves a shot at the title alongside Elsa and bitchier Elsa from Frozen Hell, we are as good as any team in that division if not better than any of them. We’ve had chances to prove it and we have done just that.
Jordan rolls over onto her stomach on the bed and smiles.
Now, for the last month or so my focus has been on something else. I will dip my toe back into the tag waters this week and prove to everyone that I can do it all. I am one of the most adaptable wrestlers on the planet. Just when the world wanted to say “ok, maybe she’s just a tag team wrestler,” I won the buy-in and I led my team to the finals of the Trios tournament and now I have a shot this weekend to become this company’s Adrenaline Champion. There was a time where I was an afterthought. Not anymore. Even Kandis and Tommy know they have to be on their best this week. And it’s not just because they know what they’re getting in Jake anymore. I have become a viable threat to anyone who steps in the ring with me. Don’t get it twisted, Connection. Just because I have a big opportunity this weekend doesn’t mean I’m taking my mind off the prize at hand on Breakdown. Any time I step in the ring I have a chance to walk away as the winner. And that’s what matters.
Jordan nods to her own words and then tilts her head in thought.
You probably wouldn’t think of it this way, but it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten the chance to get in the ring. Trios happened a while ago now. And in that time your girl here has been starved for another chance to get in there and show what she can do. To show that she’s not just content with second place. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the accomplishment that was had by a girl who seems to be a shooting star out of nowhere teamed with a real star in this business and a woman who could barely walk a few months ago. Maybe we overachieved as a group to get to the finals. It doesn’t matter. We were there and we had a chance to grab the one thing in this company that would allow us the chance to call our shot.
Jordan moves to sitting on the edge of the bed and shrugs.
We failed. I failed, really. I was the one laying on my back while those three celebrated. But even from that defeat, somehow I feel stronger. Somehow I feel like I called my shot to an entire locker room of doubters and told them that I’m here. I have officially arrived on the scene here. And after all of that, I’ve been sitting in those very locker rooms and watching. Waiting for my name to be called. Waiting to get back and fight. So to have this match this week, right before that pay per view this weekend, I’m more than ready. The Connection is a well-oiled machine, and that’s not even a reference to the amount of oil Tommy probably pours on that woman every night. I can’t even blame him because you’ve seen that ass and holy cow that is something else. Whatever we’re calling ourselves this week… we’re ready. We’re every bit as capable of a team.
Jordan stands up and the phone loses focus of her for a moment as she leans against a nearby window and lets the city behind her serve as a backdrop.
Back when we faced this team for the first time, it was that absolute cluster of a tag team ladder match at Clarity. I remember going in Jake joked with me that I better watch out if Kandis came backward off of a ladder toward me. He said she’d kill me because I’d see it coming and freeze as I basked in her ass glory. But none of that happened, of course. We were close to achieving what we set out to do there. Infamous took the prize. While Jake and Tommy have so much history in their storied past in this company, I can’t help but feel like Kandis and me are part of the new class of competitors here. The future of this company. You look around and see people like Owen, Kelsai, Peyton, Gavin, Kandis… you toss me in there and you really see that this company has an ironclad future with stars in the making right under its nose. This isn’t a group of people content to wait their turn while the veterans of the past continue to stake their claim at the top of the pyramid. We’re here upsetting the applecart and kicking that hierarchy right between the legs.
Jordan nods to herself and laughs, pointing the camera at the lights of the city before returning it to her face.
I don’t want to be celebrated just for being a hard worker and a charismatic woman that the fans have been gravitating to lately. I want to be celebrated as someone they all see as worthy of being their champion. Yes, that means I have to perform at the highest possible level in matches like this weekend’s. But it also means I have to walk into matches like this one on Breakdown and I have to overperform. I have to shatter their expectations and leave them wanting more. I have to push my own expectations to the limit. I’m prepared to do that now. From now until the end of my time as a performer. This is why we all do this. To be the best. The Connection? They are truly among the best. And we will prove we are, too. By beating them.
Jordan adjusts her glasses and films her face from the side for a moment as she peeks out the window and then looks back.
The lights are bright out there in the city tonight. They’ll burn even brighter on the Breakdown ring tomorrow night when Jake and I remind the whole tag team division that we are no team to sleep on. We are no team to mess with. Call us whatever you want this week, but know at the end of the night that you will be calling us one thing for certain and that is the winners. I respect the past performances of our opponents, hell, I even respect them in the present. But I’m only walking into Breakdown for one reason and that is to win. Don’t let yourself get fooled by rumor and innuendo. The bond we have is strong. We are an unbreakable pair hell bent on being the best in this company. Jake has a lot left to give and I’m just getting started. Just because we’ve taken some time to fight for ourselves doesn’t mean we can’t still fight together. That’s exactly what the Connection will be treated to this week. We will come to compete and we will conquer. You can take that to the bank. Tommy might be a legend and Kandis might have a legendary ass, but Jordan Majors and Jake Starr? That’s just money baby.
Jordan winks and blows a kiss to the camera before smiling and ending the recording.
Everything You Wish You Could Be 