A camera switches on to show two women sitting at a table with microphones in front of each of them. It’s Jordan Majors and Cookie Dreams wearing headphones and smiling to each other as Jordan holds up her hand and then counts down from five with her fingers.
Jordan: Hey everyone! Welcome to Jordan and Cookie —
Cookie: In the morning! In the mor-ning!!
Jordan: Is that what we’re going to call this? For real?
Cookie: Why not?
Jordan: I’m not sure it just sounds familiar… but anyways, this is the moment you have all undoubtedly been waiting for. I’ve been teasing this for months, I just didn’t realize the first episode we would be gracing our fans with would be me and Cookie working together as a tag team. It’s pretty incredible I have to say. Now, I know the question a lot of people might have is why are we teaming? Is this just for the tag league or is it beyond that?
Cookie: Let me take this one. We are teaming because it’s simple math. When you take one of the most up and coming stars in one of my best friends here and you look at her resume, the one thing she’s missing is the ability to take down Sienna Swann.
Jordan: Oh Jesus, here we go…
Cookie: I’ve beaten Sienna in a tag match before and I know her weaknesses. If you just look at the two of us, what one is missing the other one has. Jordan has all these big moments in her career, and I have a few sprinkled in. She has the Adrenaline title to her name and I have the TV title to mine. Her chest is an A cup and mine is several cups larger. It just makes sense.
Cookie ends her speech and Jordan just stares at her for a moment with a confused expression.
Jordan: Ok… well for me, the opportunity to team with my best friend was something I couldn’t turn down. I look at the landscape of our tag division and it is ever changing. Last year at this time I was about a month away from joining in a tag team with my brother and by Under Attack we were in that insane multi-team ladder match for the tag titles. You go back and look and the only consistent thing from that match today is Dark Fantasy and Big Ass are still teaming. With this tag league, it’s like you’re dropping a bomb of talent and experience into a pool of teams that were already changing the culture of the division. Frozen Hell, for example, is just a crazy mix of veteran experience and they have pushed Big Ass Connection to be at their very best. Now, does it go beyond this tournament? We’ll have to see. Look at that schedule and you’ll notice that you should be seeing plenty of Jordan and Cookie over the next several months.
Cookie: Jordan and Cookie… maybe we need a team name like those others.
Jordan: As long as it has nothing to do with hamsters or gerbils or turtles of whatever the hell Jake was pulling out of his butt last time, I’m game for it.
Cookie: Jake is into gerbiling?
Jordan: What the hell is that?
Cookie: Oh girl…
Cookie grabs her phone and Jordan reaches across to stop her and smiles awkwardly and laughs.
Jordan: Um, let’s just continue the show. Everyone is wondering, I know, where Cookie was before she showed up last week on Breakdown. So, fill in the world.
Cookie: Oh. Ok. So, there comes a time in every young woman’s life where she starts to ask questions like… where am I? How did I get here? What is this place called? In my case, that place was called Michigan. And where I was? It was a boat. And how I got there? Well, that was by car. But how I landed on Terran, now that is a story!
Jordan: Huh!?
Cookie: So I thought I would take a little sailing trip and explore the world. My boat didn’t agree. So I was sort of stuck and I just went with it. But now I’m here and I’m ready for more fighting. I’m ready to win this tag league at Under Attack!
Jordan: Cookie, it goes much further than Under Attack.
Cookie: Rise to Greatness?
Jordan: I mean, I hope not. Not that I wouldn’t want to team with you that long. That’s just a nearly year long tournament! Cookie, how did we come about this idea to team?
Cookie: Well it was my idea!
Jordan: Indeed it was!
Cookie: When I saw that tag league announced, the first thing that came to mind was how Jordan couldn’t beat Sienna.
Jordan audibly sighs and then laughs softly.
Cookie: The second thing that came to mind was Jordan. I went straight to her and I pitched my ideas for how we could do this together and really make an impact. I like the way Jordan fights. I think a lot of us do. That’s why she’s become so popular. Who wouldn’t want someone like that on your team? I mean she is the true Iron Woman of SCW. No matter what, she gets right back up and keeps going. We all know how her match ended at Rise to Greatness and what Sienna needed to do to win. Yet the memorable moment will always be Jordan standing up with blood running down her face while the crowd cheers her on. The same thing happened at Apocalypse. I know there are a ton of long-time veterans in the locker room, but this is the woman who cleanly defeated David Helms before Taking Hold of the Flame. I’m the woman who beat Regan Helms for the Television title. We are good fighters, we are talented… it just felt like a great idea. And I thought maybe Jordan could use a change of pace from being punched in the face by a crazy every month.
Jordan buries her head in her hands and laughs as Cookie just beams a smile at the camera.
Cookie: It does take two of us though. And Jordan was 100 percent all-in from the word go. I laid out the plan for how we could train and she threw in some suggestions from her time in a team with her brother and I’d say we’re ready to go. I just can’t believe we forgot to talk about a name.
Jordan: It’s not that big of a deal. The big deal is we’re in action this week. Let’s get down to it and talk about some business. We are taking on Konrad and Alistaire this week. It’s down to brass tacks now. This team has to get off to a good start and that’s opponent numero uno. I’ll start by addressing Konrad.
Cookie: He’s quite amazing doing what he’s doing.
Jordan: How do you mean?
Cookie: At his age!
Jordan: Yes, very much so.
Cookie: Imagine still doing this at near 70 years old!
Jordan: Cookie… he’s not that old. Geez! He’s closer to 50-something.
Cookie: Then why does he look like… all withered up like old food?
Jordan shrugs her shoulders and then looks at the camera.
Jordan: I’ve faced Konrad a few times. Most recently was when I had just won the Adrenaline Championship. I have to say I respect him. It has nothing to do with his age. He’s a very strong and very capable fighter. What he lacks in experience, even at his age, he often makes up for in the way he utilizes his strength in the ring. He’s the exact type of fighter that if he catches you off guard he can absolutely make you pay for it. I know he surprised me a few times the last time we fought. He surprised me even more with what I saw him do when he fought Bree for the US title. I don’t take him lightly at all just because he’s lost a lot of matches here and there. Look at me? I’ve lost a whole lot more than I’ve won over the last few months. But no one is taking me any less seriously than before. I know the gameplan in my mind is you’ve got to hit this guy hard and fast and get him off his game. So that’s what I’ll do.
Cookie: For me Konrad is a really silly goose.
Jordan: What do you mean by that?
Cookie: Well he’s just really into cold things and I think hot things are better. So my thought is I just come at him like I always come at people and I beat him. But if I need to play the mental game, I have no problem melting him down to size and making sure he leaves this match as half the man he was when he entered.
Jordan: Cookie, wow?
Cookie: I just want to make it clear to Konrad that he better take me seriously or there will be consequences. Like him losing. And that would be awful for them in their second match together.
Jordan: Moving on to Ali.
Cookie: Yeah, this guy. Mr. Peyton Rice.
Jordan: Oh, yeah. Cookie… no. That’s not a thing anymore.
Cookie: What!? No!! I really liked them! What happened?
Jordan: I’m not sure this is the best platform to be talking about it. Maybe we can address it off the podcast?
Cookie: Well whatever you did Ali, you just signed your warrant. I’m coming for your ass. That girl Peyton is a nice girl!
Jordan: Cookie, it really isn’t that deep. Shit happens, you know?
Cookie: I’m warning you, Ali!
Jordan: Listen, Ali, I know how talented you are. I really admire the way you’ve taken to fighting alongside Konrad. The two of you form quite a team. But for me and Cookie, this is a debut together. We are not going to let this win slip away from us. We haven’t really had the chance to cross paths and I know your entire opinion of me was formed by whatever Peyton has said about me, but you and me have no issues. Other than the fact that you are standing in the way of what Cookie and I truly want to accomplish. I need a strong rebound. I want a strong start with Cookie. You are a formidable team but we were placed in this tournament to change the very landscape of this division. Look up and down our side of this tag league. Group A is like a murderer’s row of teams. But someone has to survive in the end. I know you know exactly how tough it’s going to be to pull this off. We have THE three most established teams in the company on this side of the tag league. But what you and Konrad can’t possibly do together, we will.
Cookie brings her hand to her mouth.
Cookie: OH!!!
Jordan: We are the team that is going to slide into this seamlessly and compete with the best. And when this tournament comes to its conclusion, we will be the ones who get the chance to call ourselves the best in the world. And you know what? We’re going to have a whole hell of a lot of fun doing it. We’re going to make each and every one of you that follow us proud and you won’t regret putting your support in our corner.
Cookie: And I just want to add that this is the reason right here that I wanted to team with this woman. That fire. That passion. You can really feel it in your loins, right?
Jordan: In your loins?
Cookie: Right here!
Cookie rubs at her thighs and Jordan laughs and reaches over to stop her. Cookie blushes and gazes at the camera in front of them.
Cookie: When I look at the time we’re about to face I see an immense hunger to be the best. Konrad has been battling for a long time to ascend to a higher place on the card. This is his moment, with someone at his side, to change the narrative about him. Ali has led an existence so perfect it isn’t even funny. I can’t say I have the experience that either of them do. I can’t even say my experience matches what Jordan brings to the table. When I told Sasha I wanted to join this roster I told her I was ready to fight anyone. I have proven, without a shadow of a doubt, that I belong here on this roster. I’ve faced people at the top and I’ve won. I’ve faced the future and I’ve won. 2019 was the year when Jordan Majors was named the Star of Tomorrow. 2020 has been the Year of Cookie. From this moment and beyond, we will be the best this company has to offer in the tag team division. Tomorrow we will be showing up for Breakdown and we will make it clear to the world that we are not here for jokes and shenanigans. We are here to win. The road ahead is challenging. But together, we can do anything.
Jordan sits there, quietly, looking in awe of Cookie’s sudden passion statement. Cookie looks over.
Cookie: What?
Jordan: Nothing, boo! Just loved that.
Cookie grins and shrugs her shoulders.
Jordan: You heard it here world. This has been the first episode of our podcast and we just laid it out for you. This team isn’t here to play games or make you laugh. We’re here to win this damn thing. If you do find yourself enjoying the journey along the way, it’s because we’re doing the right thing. Konrad and Alistaire, thanks for welcoming us into the tag league. It’s just too damn bad for the two of you that it had to start with you facing us. Because we’re the pair to beat. I can promise you that much. Actually, what am I thinking? You can take that to the bank, gentleman. Because Jordan Majors, and Cookie Dreams, are money.
Cookie: And that’s the way the cookie crumbles?
Jordan and Cookie share a laugh together and then Jordan raises her pinky finger and Cookie wraps her pink finger around Jordan’s as they smile to the camera. Jordan reaches over and turns the camera off to end the video.
Everything You Wish You Could Be 