September 20, 2020 – Santa Monica
Ding! Dong!
The noise broke me out of sleep like the snap of fingers breaking me out of some sort of trance. I pushed myself up on elbows and looked over where Kath usually lays. The bed was empty. She was gone this weekend, getting ready to fight somewhere overseas. So I sat there, questioning where or not that was the doorbell or if something else had been responsible for waking me up in that manner. I listened for a moment more but never heard anything. I laid my head back down on the pillow and closed my eyes, letting out a sigh.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Dong!
What the fuck!? I shot back up and scrambled out of bed so fast I fell straight to my side with a loud thud. I stumbled up to my feet and looked down at myself to make sure I had enough on to even answer the door. I was sure my butt was hanging out of these tiny shorts and the t-shirt I was wearing wasn’t the best, but it would have to do. I sprinted down the steps, turning the corner and stomping toward the door. Who the hell would have the nerve to come this early. The sun barely up and someone was ringing the doorbell like that? I grabbed the door, unlocked the deadbolt and swung it open and saw a familiar face standing there. Except something was off. She was dressed like normal, with her chest testing the limits of her clearly too small shirt. But her face sported a long, ratty-looking, blonde-colored beard that hung down just past her neck. I had to do a double take before I could even utter a single word.
Jordan: C….Cookie?
The bosom blonde simply smiled at me before doing a bit of a curtsy movement and then making her way past me inside of the house.
Cookie: You have any snacks?
Jordan: Cookie? Where have you been?
Cookie: Funny story. I was shipwrecked.
Jordan: Shipwrecked? I thought you were sailing in the Great Lakes?
Cookie: I was, but my dinghy ran ashore on Beiber Island, up north in Michigan. So I was stranded.
Jordan: Bieber Island?
I watched as Cookie continued into the house and found herself something to eat by raiding the pantry. I’d never heard of a Bieber Island, but who was I to question her. I shut the front door and hurried into the house to catch up to her. I sat down at the countertop and watched as she ate Kath and I out of house and home. As she began to eat, I watched as she pulled the beard away from her face and sat it on the counter next to her like it was some creature that she’d brought back with her. The fact that she didn’t even explain why she was wearing a fake beard didn’t even seem to be the weirdest thing about this situation.
Jordan: So, can you like… tell me about this whole thing? I missed you and I just want to know what happened?
Cookie was elbow deep in crackers at this point. She stopped with her mouth full, crumbles falling off of her lips as she placed a cracker on the counter in front of her and then leaned forward and stared at me. She took a deep breath.
Cookie: I took off searching for myself, but in the end I realized there’s nothing wrong with me in the first place. I’ve been here all along. But I made a mistake along the way. The waves on the lake picked up and crashed me right into this island. There were a few natives. They called it Bieber Island. Like that lit kid singer?
Jordan: He’s totally an adult now, but ok…
Cookie: Anyway, I was forced to live on the shores.
Jordan: Wait. There were locals but you lived on the shores?
Cookie: I said natives. They were smallish and all wore uniforms. They looked like… teenage boys. It’s always crazy how people from other countries look so different. They were all so concerned with when I took my daily baths in the lake. They always stood by and watched intently like… my own personal security!
I cocked my head slightly sideways and then laughed.
Jordan: You mean they were trying to get a peak of that cute, bikini-covered ass.
Cookie blushed and grinned.
Cookie: You think my butt is cute?
Jordan: Shut up…
Cookie: But no, no bikini.
Jordan: So you were naked in front of boy scouts?
Cookie: Boy scouts!? Wait, were they boy scouts?
I watched as she seemed to be searching for what felt like an obvious answer. But then she shook her head in disbelief at me.
Cookie: Nah, they were natives from a tribe. Tribe 23 or something. Or did they say Troop…
Jordan: Anyway, past that… why the hell did you stay there so long?
Cookie: I couldn’t find an air pump to get the boat fixed after a rock scratched it on the shore. Either way, it took some time for me to get the boat back ready to go. But then I ventured into town and I saw someone watching Apocalypse. I saw you losing to Sienna again.
I sighed.
Jordan: Thanks for reminding me.
Cookie: And then I heard that they were doing a tag team tournament and I thought to myself… Jordan has beaten a lot of people, but she’s never beaten Sienna.
Jordan: Again, thanks for reminding me boo.
Cookie: You’re welcome! Anyway, I’ve beaten Sienna and I’ve beaten Regan so I thought to myself… why not team with Jordan and we’ll be like the Wonder Twins.
Jordan: The Wonder Twins? We don’t look anything alike?
Cookie: Not all twins look the same… what about fraternity twins?
Jordan: I don’t know what that means, babe, but it doesn’t sound right.
Cookie: We can win this whole dang thing if we want to. I know we can. So I said, to heck with it, and I blew that whole raft up with my mouth. I just put the thing in my mouth and I blew as hard and fast as I could, but the thing just wasn’t having it. And I thought I had a lot of air for blowing.
My eyes had grown wide during the words she’d said and I started to wonder exactly what the hell she was getting at.
Jordan: Well if you’re saying what I think you’re saying, that has nothing to do with blowing up a raft.
Cookie: It was a blowup raft though!? It doesn’t matter. It’s beside the point. This guy came by on a yacht and picked me up and he brought me back to America. There were so many boats all over the place with flags from their country. Magastan or something? They all spoke such good english though. It was amazing.
Jordan: Actually, boo, that was probably one of those boat parades they keep showing on the news.
Cookie shrugged.
Cookie: So now I’m here! What have you been doing lately besides losing to Sienna?
Jordan: Cookie!? Again?
Cookie: What!? I’m trying to catch up and it’s all I’ve heard about so far.
I sighed and leaned into the counter.
Jordan: I mean, what hasn’t happened? I lost that show and then got it back.
I paused, thinking about what else has been going on recently and then I looked down and sighed.
Jordan: Actually that’s all that has really happened.
Cookie nodded and then stood up, folding her arms across her chest.
Cookie: Well, there is your problem right there. You’ve got no major legal or relationship issues. All the best fighters are having trouble in their lives. So maybe we need to go and stir up a little bit of trouble, huh?
Jordan: Uh, what do you have in mind, boo? The studio already told me they dont want me to do anything that would embarrass them.
Cookie: You’ve got to mix things up a little bit. Is there any way you can get access to someone else’s child? A baby preferably.
Jordan: Cookie!? Oh my god, what!?
Cookie: How about Kath, any chance you can be driven mad enough to chase her off. It all seems a little too perfect, too lovey dovey if you ask me.
Jordan: Ok, you’ve got to stop. You’re only coming up with ideas that make me just like Sienna. Why would I want to be anything like Sienna?
Cookie: I don’t know, why would you want to be anything like the person you can’t defeat. Hmm…
I looked down and laughed to myself before running a hand through my hair and pushing it all back. Cookie saw the smile on my face and beamed one back bright enough to fill the room with light.
Jordan: Maybe the problem was that my best friend and partner in crime has just been shipwrecked in Lake Michigan this whole time. Maybe it’s that?
Cookie: Maybe, but the likely reason is probably just that you haven’t faced her in a tag team match yet. I always find the best way to take Sienna down is to get her to turn on her tag team partner.
Jordan: You can’t be serious?
Cookie: So let’s brainstorm for a moment. What about Bree and Sienna is a trigger that can make them turn against each other?
Jordan: Unless Sienna has developed a sudden dislike for cajun food and small dogs, I don’t think there’s any chance of that happening. Besides, what makes you remotely think that those two will be in this tag thing anyways?
Cookie: I had a vision. I have ESPN so I can see the future.
Jordan: I don’t think that’s how that works… That doesn’t sound right, boo. But either way, I have all the tag team experience between us. So I know how you work to train for it.
Cookie: Didn’t you and your brother lose a lot though?
I dropped my head into my hands and broke into laughter for a moment.
Jordan: Jesus, you remember everything don’t you. And we didn’t lose THAT much. Just enough for me to want to move on to something else.
Cookie: A little winning before some losing?
I shot Cookie a look and she giggled and just smiled before sitting next to me at the counter.
Cookie: So tag team master, teach me your ways.
Jordan: Well, they weren’t really my ways. They were things that Jake knew.
Cookie: What does that even mean? Like what?
Jordan: Well, let me think… Ok, he threw some spotted dick at me and then he got some old internet memes involved and then there was the guru.
Cookie: The guru?
Jordan: Don’t even get me started. Seriously.
Cookie: Sounds like a night with Derek.
Jordan: Yeah, wait, what? The guru or the spotted dick?
Cookie: Oh, nothing. Ignore me babe. What were you saying?
I took a moment as I sat there, trying to think back to my tag team days with Jake. I shook my head and let out the softest of sighs.
Jordan: I think if we can do this together, we have a real chance. Jake and I, we were never entirely on the same page, you know? Like he wanted to do things one way, but I wanted to do them another. So if we’re going to do this, if we’re going to tell Sasha that we want to be on the same team… we have to be a united front and that has to start right now.
I put my elbow on the table and I put my fist up and extended my pinky finger toward Cookie. She stared at me confused and then leaned down slowly before taking my pinky in her mouth.
Jordan: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
Cookie: mumbles inaudibly around the finger
I pulled my pinky finger out and then placed it back up toward her.
Jordan: Wrap your pinky around mine.
Cookie did as I said and then looked into my eyes with the cutest little smile.
Jordan: We do this together. No matter what.
Cookie: Together. No matter what.
We nodded to each other and then Cookie leaned forward and placed her forehead against mine.
Cookie: It’s really good to be back here with you. I did miss you.
Jordan: I’m so glad you’re back, too. I needed my bestie around. And I bet Derek was happy to see you again, too!
Cookie: Derek? Why would I have told him?
Jordan: Your husband doesn’t know you’re here?
Cookie: Why would I tell him I was coming here?
Jordan: You were gone for like a month? Surely he is missing you?
Cookie: I left him something to play with. He probably doesn’t even know the difference.
Jordan: I don;t even want to ask. I don’t even want to know.
I let out a laugh as I leaned against my arm and looked at her.
Jordan: So what now? Are you heading to Vegas to see your man?
Cookie: Nah, I think I need to find us a guru. If we’re gonna win this tag league thing, we’ve got to up our game. We’ve got to do something no one sees coming. We’ve got to get creative…
Jordan: Ok… but nothing involving lube!
Cookie: Ok then, we have to get extra creative?
Jordan: Ok, deal!
Cookie and I shared a laugh between ourselves and spent the rest of the morning scheming our next plan of attack. It felt different to be planning a team with my best friend. Nothing at all like planning with my brother. Jake and I were able to sort of fake a connection that was never really there. I had no doubt that Cookie and I could probably conquer the world of the tag division far better than Cookie could conquer the world of sailing, but I knew the path ahead was going to be far from easy. The tag division in SCW had only grown stronger since I made my exit and battled it out with the strongest individuals this company has. Now? Some of those people would be forming teams. If we were going to do this, we had to go about it boldly. I didn’t want either one of us holding back. We needed the Jordan Majors that won the Adrenaline title and the buy-in paired with the Cookie Dreams that came away as the winner of the TV title over Regan. I was confident that’s exactly what we would get. When I stopped teaming with my brother, I told myself I didn’t have interest in ever fighting in a regular tag team again. Cookie changed everything for me. Now I found myself having lingering thoughts about Jordan and Cookie as the tag team champions of SCW. I was letting myself fantasize about a future back at the top of this country. And it felt right knowing it would be with my best friend at my side if we did it. Or should I say, when we do it.
September 22, 2020 – Los Angeles
A day later I tuned into watch Emerge with Cookie by my side and we watched as Kath appeared to be hurt. About an hour later she called me from some local medical facility over there and told me she’d broken her ankle. We arranged a time for me to pick her up and bring her back home so she could rest. I felt legitimately bad for her. She had just really gotten going again and now she was going to be sort of laid up and needing me to help out a bit more. I offered her whatever encouragement I could muster and then told her I’d see her first thing in the morning. I took a chance and drove her car to the airport. I don’t drive around the Los Angeles area much because I feel like a danger to society behind the wheel of any vehicle. If you’ve ever seen any video online that paints women as terrible drivers, well that video is bullshit. Women are great drivers! But, that video is basically me behind the wheel of a car. It’s all unrelated though. Just coincidence. I parked out in front of the airport and left Cookie sitting in the backseat so I could go in and help Kath out. Have you ever seen your significant other sitting in a wheelchair in an airport when last you saw them they were walking just fine? No? Well, it was different. I felt bad for her. I watched as they stopped and she grabbed a pair of crutches and got up to her feet. She saw the look on my face and shot me a glance as we started toward the baggage area.
Kathryn: Don’t look at me like that.
Jordan: Like what?
Kathryn: Like I’m helpless!
Jordan: It’s not that. It’s just that…
Kathryn: What is it?
Jordan: I always knew I’d be taking care of you someday, I just didn’t expect it to be quite this soon.
Kath stopped in her tracks and gave me an absolute go to hell or go fuck yourself look, I couldn’t quite be sure, as I tried to stifle the laughter coming from me by putting a hand over my mouth that also covered the smile.
Kathryn: You’re lucky I need these crutches to support my balance or I would kick your ass with them right here in this airport. You know I don’t think that shit is funny.
Jordan: Ah, come on. I’m just teasing. You know I got you. Honestly, I’m just really gutted for you.
Kathryn: Don’t be. It’s part of the game. I wasn’t on my game, or else this wouldn’t have happened. It’s fine though. Jay will be happy to have me not traveling every few weeks.
I frowned and I was suddenly taken back to when I was injured nearly a year ago. It was a cowardly attack by members of Infamous that sought to put me on the shelf permanently. Maybe, hilariously, a year later it was someone else that wanted me to be put out for good. I put my hand on the small of her back and rubbed softly as we continued through the airport and gathered her baggage. I opened the door when we went to the car and helped her inside, and then I loaded her bag into the trunk and returned to the wheel and sat down. Kath looked over at me and smiled. She had that look like she was going to pay me back for the comment I made earlier. I raised my brow and waited for the attack.
Kathryn: You drove? And you’re still alive? I already have a broken ankle, babe. Please make sure we make it home without any more broken bones.
Jordan: Shut up! I learned to drive in a corn field so sue me if I’m not used to Los Angeles freeways. It could have been worse, I could have brought Vihaan to pick you up.
Kathryn: Well I suppose we can all be thankful that —
Cookie: Hey Kathryn!
Kathryn: JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH!!
Kath grasped at her chest as Cookie popped up from the back to speak. I realized I had forgotten some very important information.
Kathryn: Cookie? What the hell… and Kylie? Tell me next time, huh?
Cookie: Who is Kylie?
Kathryn: You haven’t told her?
Jordan: No, I’m sure I have. Cookie, I’m Kylie.
Cookie: I thought you were Jordan. Where’s Jordan?
Jordan: I am Jordan, come on Cookie. It’s not that confusing.
Cookie went dead silent. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw her face. It looked like her brain had exploded in her head.
Kathryn: Watch out! Watch out!
I slammed on the brakes and watched Kath put her hands on the dash to keep herself from rocking forward too hard and then she shot her glance over at me.
Kathryn: Babe, watch the road! Why is Cookie gracing us with her presence? I thought she was on some vacation.
Cookie: Shipwrecked.
Kathryn: Wait, what?
Jordan: It’s a long story.
Cookie: So I set sail from the shores of Lake Michigan in search of —
Jordan: A LONG story.
Kathryn: But why are you here, Cookie?
Cookie: I’m here to train with Jordan. We’re going to become a tag team and run the world!
Jordan: She means win the world tag league and the tag titles.
Kathryn: A tag team, hmm…
Jordan: Are you doubting us?
Kathryn: Who, me? No. Not at all!
Cookie grabbed the seats and leaned forward.
Cookie: She doesn’t believe. All you have to do is believe. No one believed I would be successful in SCW and look at me. I’ve beaten Sienna and not even Jordan can do that. And I’ve beaten David’s current wife and she beat you by marrying him.
Jordan and Kathryn: Ugh…
Cookie: I just thought of something. If you had joined SCW instead of that Emerge thingy, we could have been a tag team.
Kathryn: How delightful.
Cookie: We could have been… Milf and Cookies!
Kath’s eyes shot up and she looked at me and we both burst into laughter. I had to try and keep myself from steering us off the road and into the ditch as my eyes filled with tears out of laughing so hard.
Kathryn: So should I expect we will be seeing you here for a while.
Cookie: At least for now. I need to help Jordan get prepared for being on a tag team again. I’ve had a lot more success than her in tags.
Jordan: It was like one match!?
Cookie: Yeah, but I beat Sienna and the great Jake Starr!
Jordan: Sienna turned on her own teammate and gifted you the win!
Cookie: Hey, don’t get mad at me because you didn’t win the Great Golden Penis that night.
Jordan: I’m not mad, and I didn’t even want that giant phallus. Chris Cannon deserved it.
Cookie: I do thank you for saving me that night though. And my dear Derek. He was lost without your help. I think Chris would have strangled him to death or something.
I heard a phone start to ring from the back. The sounds of Baby Got Back reverberated from Cookie’s hands as she looked down at her cell phone.
Cookie: It’s Derek! Hey baby!!
Cookie turned away from us and fell back to the back seat and I felt Kath’s hand rest on mine as I let it rest on the gear shift. The car was an automatic, but it was almost out of habit that my hand sat there. I turned my glance to Kath as we started down the freeway toward Santa Monica. She gave my hand a squeeze and a reassuring smile. She always had that way of letting me know when something was a good idea. I looked down at her hand. Then I raised my brows in question.
Kathryn: I think it’s a good idea. I do.
Jordan: Really?
Kathryn: Last month when we went to the Bahamas, I asked you what was next. When the tag league thing came up before Apocalypse, you seemed genuinely uninterested. And I understood it. You were focused on Sienna. Maybe you still are.
Jordan: I think she’s more focused on me than I am on her. I think I live rent free in that woman’s head.
Kathryn: Maybe so, but a change of pace isn’t bad either. When I asked you what was next you seemed to have no idea. I think this will be great for both of you. If you can’t trust your best friend in the ring, who can you trust? I would love to have Ivy running by my side in the ring and dominating all those rookies in Emerge’s tag division. You two will have the odds stacked against you in this tournament, but I think maybe you two are the types that can bring just enough chaos to the order of the division to earn yourselves the spotlight.
Jordan: You think?
Kathryn: I do. No bullshitting.
I kept my eyes on the road, but there was no hiding the smile on my face. I knew Kath was seeing it as she looked at me.
Kathryn: I don’t know if this thing with you and Sienna is over or if ever will be, but if you can focus on the tag league like I think you can, I expect big things. And you know I love Cookie despite all her crazy. I couldn’t imagine a better partner for you.
Cookie: Ok. Ok. Bye baby! Jordan, Kathryn, and Kylie… I have some good news.
I let out a sigh and soft laugh and looked in the rear view mirror where I saw my best friend in the back.
Cookie: I just talked to Derek and we decided that I’m going to be staying here for the next few weeks so that Jordan and I can train. I can stay in your room! We can all share a bed and it will be so much fun.
Kathryn: Uh, Cookie, hunny. That offer is absolutely lovely, but I have to say that I do have a perfectly good guest room and I don’t think it’s remotely necessary for you to share a room with us.
Jordan: Yeah Cookie… Kath’s leg is hurt so it might be better if she can have more room.
Cookie: Great! Then you and I can share the guest room and she can have the bed to herself.
Kathryn: That’s not quite what we mean, Cookie.
Cookie: Listen, I get it. The lovebirds probably want to get freaky or whatever it is lesbians like to do together. I can stay in the guest room tonight. But then maybe we can rotate around so everyone gets a cuddle buddy?
I snickered to myself and Kath shook her head in the front.
Kathryn: Maybe we’ll figure it out when we get there, huh? No need to be too hasty. Let’s just make sure we can survive one night first, shall we?
Kath leaned back in her seat and let out a sigh as I looked over my shoulder and grinned at Cookie. It was going to be nice to have Cookie over so we could prepare if I was being entirely honest about it. I did believe the world wasn’t ready for what would happen with the two of us united as a team, but I was worried about how united Kath and I could stay for a few weeks of the bubbly bestie staying in our home. Our tag team was about to take over the world. I just knew it. Either way, we were going to have a lot of fun and we weren’t going to let anyone stop us from becoming the most must-watch team in the whole company.
October 2, 2020 – Los Angeles
Fresh off our debut as a team, a victorious one at that, I headed back home for a first day on the set of Grimm. I arrived at the set inside an LA warehouse and sat for what seemed like 2 hours in a makeup chair before I was rushed to wardrobe and then right back to finish my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror before I walked on to the set and realized I looked beautiful. There was something so different about my appearance. I would never have packed so much makeup on my face. And the outfit? It made me feel like Scarlett Johanssen in any of those Marvel movies. I looked like a beautiful badass. I looked capable of robbing a government of its secrets while simultaneously charming the pants off the leader’s young wife. Regardless, this project was more about fighting monsters. Dressed to the nines, set-wise, I was ushered to an almost entirely green room. One of the production staff handed me a large staff that was as light as a feather and pointed me to a spot in the middle where a light green X was marked.
Producer: Jordan, what we’re going to do here is have you fight a wave of monsters. It’s going to be men in green suits, ok?
Jordan: Ok?
Producer: This whole environment will be added via computer generation, but you will have to fight these individuals. You already ran through the training for this of course, so you know how it’s supposed to be.
Jordan: Woah, wait. What training was I supposed to go through exactly?
Producer: Oh shit…
The producer folded his arms together on his chest and shook his head.
Producer: No one told you about the training session for the bow staff?
Jordan: Dude, no one told me shit about anything. As far as I know I was told to just show up today.
Producer: Well, I’m sorry that no one told you about that. We need this today so do you think you can do this?
Jordan: I mean I can try and wing it…
Producer: Exactly, just imagine you’re fighting someone like in a wrestling match.
He smiled and I shot him a look back as he hurried away toward a group of people and said a few words to a woman sitting in a chair nearby. The man signaled for the stunt men dressed in green and then screamed out “Action!” and they came running toward me.
Jordan: Oh… shoot!
I began to twirl the bow staff like I was doing my best Darth Maul impression as the men ran toward me, I felt the staff strike the first one in the chin like an uppercut and he stumbled off to the side with a thud. I felt my eyes grow wide as another came toward me and I smacked him in the chest and leveled him to the ground. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be hitting them or not. If this how it works? Another came running in with a pair of swords. He twirled them in his hands and started swinging and I went on the defense. His strikes came harder and harder as they smacked at the staff in my hands. With one two-handed blow down at the staff, I felt the weapon fall to my feet and then out of instinct I bent backwards as he swung the sword at me, just missing my torso. I jumped to a side stance and delivered a superkick that struck him in the nose. The stuntman dropped the swords instantly, grabbing at his face and falling to the ground in a whimper.
Director: CUT! WHAT THE HELL!?
Stuntman: She’s beating the hell out of us!
Director: What is the bloody meaning of this? You were trained to–
Jordan: No I wasn’t.
Director: Excuse me? What did you just say?
Jordan: I wasn’t trained. The producer guy just asked me if I was trained and I told him. No one contacted me about any sort of training.
Director: Mike! Get over here!
I watched as that very same producer ran over and stood next to the director.
Director: Miss Majors here has let me in on the little secret that she wasn’t sent to the very specific training that we ordered for her.
Mike: I don’t know why she wasn’t told, but I thought maybe with her background we could pull this off without.
Director: Did you see what she just did? She whipped three stuntmen’s asses in about 30 seconds time. What do you expect me to do with that? Just willfully take the lawsuits and tell the studio not to worry about it?
Jordan: Shit, they’re gonna sue us over that? I didn’t even hit them that hard. I thought they were stuntmen!?
The director held a finger out to me, telling me to be quiet as he continued to focus his attention on the producer he called Mike.
Director: We need our hero to show that she’s in some kind of peril. We can’t have her kicking ass like Captain America showing up at a German boys’ camp in the middle of World War fucking Two! I told you we could not afford to waste time, yet here we are wasting time by having one of our stars going overboard. So we’re going to use this footage and we’re going to make sure the next time Miss Majors comes in here that you had her properly trained. Majors, follow me to my office.
The director turned and left the scene and I turned to follow him, looking back to see three pissed off stuntmen standing together and scowling at me. He walked in through a door and I followed behind him. He plopped down in a chair and propped his feet up on the desk and then leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head. I sat down across from him and put my hands in my lap.
Director: I don’t think we’ve met yet. I ain’t no Gray Waters or whatever the hell his name was. My name is Tim Hollins. I am the director that Brownie sought to put in charge of this project because I know how to turn shit like this into gold. Think Emmys, baby. But the first thing I want to say is this: I don’t approve of your schedule. You make my job a hell of a lot harder when it is dependent on you showing up. Some idiot had the idea to cast you as a lead in this. So if you haven’t noticed, when you are here we’re going to need to work at a rather frenetic pace. Do you understand that?
Jordan: I do. But when I talked to Brownie this was all settled and fine. Why the sudden change?
Tim: Because I’m running this show, not Brownie. She’s the money. The bankroll. She has lower expectations. I want this to succeed and I want people to see this show as a hit. I want people to look at a professional wrestler with no acting experience in a ridiculous TV show and say to themselves, damn, she can actually do this. But I need a lot of commitment from you to make that happen. So when assholes like Mike seem to be leaving out some important bit of information, you need to come to me so we can remedy this issue and make sure we don’t waste each other’s time.
I nod and look off to the side through the open doorway.
Jordan: You think I can be successful in this?
Tim: If people are willing to pay money to see Shaun Cruze and “blue” Kennedy Street in a movie, why wouldn’t they tune in to see Little Red Riding Jordan in a television show?
Jordan: I guess that’s a good point…
Tim: So I feel like we understand each other then. I don’t want any more of our time to be wasted and I want this show to be a good thing for both of us. If you help me, I will gladly help you. But if you fuck this up for me, I will do everything in my power to make sure I finish your run on the small screen. You got me?
I nod and he returns a smile when he looks back in my direction.
Tim: Between you and me though, how good does it feel to really lay it in when they come running at you?
Jordan: It felt like I was beating off boogers with a stick or something. Until that other guy came running in with the swords and tried to cut me down. That one got a little too physical for me. So kicking that guy right in the nose felt so good like… I can’t even explain it.
Tim: What were you thinking about when you laid that kick in? It wasn’t even in the script, but we’re putting it in. We’re keeping that.
I looked down and smiled. I knew who I was thinking about. Sienna. I might always be thinking about her in moments when it feels like the world is coming at me. Because I know how to fight back even when I’m down because of her. Even in those losses to Sienna, I could feel how much I’d grown. How much I’d learned.
Jordan: I was thinking about someone specific. She gave me all the motivation I needed to deliver that kick.
Tim smiled and pulled his feet to the floor as he leaned against the desk.
Tim: Alright, let’s go get them back and run another angle of that scene. Think you can do it again, just like that? Maybe without so much actual contact?
I laughed softly and then nodded.
Jordan: Let’s do it!
My focus has changed dramatically lately. After focusing on Sienna for so long, I was actually focusing on me now. This team with Cookie, it meant a lot to me. Somehow it managed to mean more to me than teaming with my brother actually had. I knew the road ahead was long, and I knew the likelihood that I ran the ire of Sienna and Bree once again existed as a likely possibility. But for now, I want the chance to create a real legacy with my best friend. I want the chance to create my own legacy as an actress.
Promo
A phone camera switches on to show a sweaty Jordan Majors sitting in what looks like a gym. She has a towel draped around the nape of her neck as she leans forward on the weight bench and looks into the phone.
Hey there friends, fans… haters. It’s your girl Jordan. Coming to you live from the gym where I’m preparing myself to lift up the biggest ass in the business this week. That’s right, I’m talking about Tommy of course. But also, it might help to be prepared for a little lifting of Kandis…
Jordan puts her hands out and squeezes and then sticks her tongue out and giggles.
That’s got to be Cookie rubbing off on me. Cookie and I apparently shocked the world last week by winning our first match together. But should it really have been such a shock? It’s almost an insult. We knew we were going to win. We told everyone that we were going to win. Of all the teams thrown together in our division, I think ours is the team most made for making a run at winning this whole damn thing. We’re best friends. You can’t get too much closer than Cookie and I are. We’re practically on the same wavelength with our minds. This isn’t just some fluke. We’re going to keep doing this and your established favorites like Big Ass Connection are going to fall at our feet and find themselves asking what the hell they just got hit by. This is only the beginning of what’s going to be a fantastic run for us.
Jordan lays back on the bench and holds the phone up, putting her other hand behind her head.
You know, it’s funny. I think people thought I was entering this tag league with Cookie just to escape Sienna. It has nothing to do with that. If I had my way, Cookie and I would run the table and face Brienna for the rights to call ourselves the best tag team in the world. And we would smoke then in the finals and leave holding titles above our heads the first chance we get. Why is it so hard for everyone to think that a former Adrenaline Champion and TV Champion could be capable of coming together as a team and finding success? Why are we being treated like chumps or just two fun gal pals trying to have a good time? It’s time to erase that thought from your minds and realize that we are going to cause some major problems for the so-called favorite teams in this league. Maybe beating Konrad and Alistaire isn’t enough for you. Maybe we have to do something impactful. Enter this week.
Jordan grabs the bar above her and lifts herself up, sitting up and looking back down into the phone with a smile.
So let’s talk about dear Tommy and Kandis, shall we? Firstly, I have some thoughts about Tommy. Congrats on your title shot, that sure is swell. I guess all you have to do these days to get a title shot is to be a real asshole and shithead to the champion. Or, maybe that’s not exactly how it works, but I can’t quite figure out the match of how you backed your way into this match. Why is Bree there? I get it, she’s the former champion. She lost to Davey and has been begging for her shot back. But Tommy? I hear he earned this by beating Dave before Rise to Greatness. I mean, hell, I beat David back before he was anointed as our next lord and savior by winning Taking Hold of the Flame. I beat Tommy a month ago. Clean, right in the middle of that ring. Somehow, Sienna has a better claim to that title than Tommy or I do. But yet, you get a shot.
Jordan puts a finger to her chin and smirks.
I’m not complaining about it, because I don’t make those decisions and I’m not the top to cry about unfair treatment or ask for handouts. If I get that shot someday, I will earn it and there will be no regrets about me being put in position to win the World Championship. But I’m a realist. I know damn well I lost to Sienna over the last two months when the lights were brightest. Even if I walked out of there with head held high and rave reviews about my performance – I lost. The only thing I can do here is remind the world once again that you aren’t ready for a World title match, by shutting you down again. I don’t need help to beat you. You’ve already seen that. But Cookie and I together will be too much for you and your girlfriend to handle.
Jordan holds the phone down and looks down into it.
Speaking of too much to handle, have y’all seen that ass on Kandis!? Is that all she is though, really? Just a big ass? She’s tried very hard to establish herself on her own, but it hasn’t quite taken hold yet, has it? It doesn’t matter. She’s an established star of the tag team division with title reigns to her name. So we take her more seriously than I think most of you take us. Kandis and I have sort of come up together in SCW, and our paths have gone in different directions, but a few times they have diverged back together and we’ve had the opportunity to fight. I might never forget that ladder match at Under Attack. Jake told me the one thing I needed to worry about was Kandis slipping off a ladder and pinning me permanently to the mat with her ass.
Jordan rolls her eyes and shakes her head, sitting up slowly and glancing back at the phone.
The funny thing is it really eased my nerves before that match and it was probably one of the better tag matches I had. Despite losing, if you go back and look at where my momentum started to turn around for the better, it was right there. I surprised everyone at the end of the year match for the world title, I began 2020 on an absolute tear, won the buy-in, made it to the Trios finals and then became Adrenaline Champion. I’ve proven that I’m more than capable of doing it on my own. Maybe this is Kandis’ arena, her area of expertise. But I did a damn good job on my own, I think it’s time to bolster my resume and prove that I can do it as a team, too. Cookie and I are coming for your spot now. We might be a new team, but by the end of Breakdown this week the entire division will be on notice. And you’ll have a new Big Ass number in the standings. In the loss column.
Jordan snaps her head back and forth as she says that last sentence with a bit of attitude.
So here’s the deal our Big Ass friends, we are coming to Breakdown this week for one thing and one thing only, and that’s win number 2. If we happen to spoil things for one of our world title contenders and put his team in the wrong column of the standings well then I would say we did a pretty damn good job, wouldn’t you two? Jonathan Knots might have treated our win last week like it was some sort of a miracle, but Tommy and Kandis and I can assure you it was just the beginning. We’re going to get stronger every week. We’re going to become a more cohesive unit each week. So what’s it say about you two that we’re gonna take you both down in week 2? Yikes!! That’s what we’re gonna do this week to the Big Ass Connection, and it will only get better from there. We’re not gonna stop making waves in this tournament, you can be sure of that. Matter of fact, you can take that to the bank. Because Jordan Majors is money. And that’s the way the cookie crumbles, bitches.
Jordan shoots the camera a wink and makes a kissy face before ending the recording.
Everything You Wish You Could Be 