December 20 – Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
I walked through the curtain and embraced my best friend tightly. Cookie and I were now one win away from running the table in our group of the tag league. And after no one expected anything from us, it felt really damn good to be sitting in this position. I couldn’t help but notice that as soon as we emerged backstage, Jaina was standing nearby. She seemed to be… jittery or on edge. Cookie broke our hug and noticed her, too, turning to look at me.
Cookie: She can’t even wait until we’re away from the shows anymore?
I chuckled lightly and grinned as I looked at her.
Jordan: I haven’t seen her in weeks. We’ve barely talked since then. Not sure what’s going on.
Cookie: Fine… go talk to her.
I took a few steps toward Jaina, but she was clearly waiting for the opening. She rushed up to me and cut me off.
Jaina: Aunt Bree knows!
Jordan: What?
Jaina: She knows!
Jordan: Knows… what?
Jaina: About us!
Jordan: Ok… I don’t know what to say.
Jaina: And she’s pissed.
I sighed and heard a bit of commotion. I looked up and Bree had pushed her way through the crowd of people backstage. She had fire in her eyes. She came right up to me, pushing her way past Jaina.
Jordan: What? Needed a closer look than you got while we were in the ring?
Bree: I thought I asked you not to fuck with her head. Now you’ve fucked up everything! I’m going to be blamed for this! I’m–
Cookie stepped in between us and put an arm up to separate us. I took a step back as Bree tried to shove Cookie’s arm away. I shook my head as the struggle continued for a few seconds and then put a hand up.
Jordan: You know what, Bree. Not everything is about you. Come on Cookie.
Cookie put her arm down and took a few steps backward and then turned to follow me.
Bree: We aren’t done talking about this yet! I hope you’re proud of yourself!
I turned the corner into a new hallway as soon as I could and then just let myself lean back into the wall. Cookie stopped and looked back behind us to check on if anyone else was coming, and then she put a hand on the wall and looked at me.
Cookie: What the hell was that?
Jordan: Honestly, I have no fucking clue. But I don’t even have time to worry about it that much. I’ve got to prepare myself to actually fight her in the ring and now she’s pissed at me for… god knows what. I guess for having sex with her niece?
Cookie: I don’t think that’s it. That can’t be it. Whatever it was seemed to be more personal for her. Maybe she had a small medical event as a result. Or maybe Sienna was standing nearby and she heard and she suffered a heart attack?
Jordan: If only…
Cookie tilted her head and giggled. She knew I was kidding. We weren’t the types that actually wanted to see anything like that happen. Even if Sienna and I had put each other through absolute hell.
Cookie: Maybe you shouldn’t be trying to hook up with Jaina tonight then… might be a trap set in her room.
Jordan: Jesus… what makes you think I planned to see her?
Cookie: I’ve been to every show with you for awhile now so… that?
Jordan: I didn’t see her on Wednesday!
Cookie: You didn’t? Then where’d you go?
Jordan: Eh… I just had a drink with Asher. Talked about some things. You wanted to sleep early so I let you do it.
Cookie: Well… at least we know you didn’t sleep with him.
I laughed and shook my head.
Jordan: Jaina messaged me, but I wasn’t even interested.
Cookie: Really?
Jordan: She congratulated me on winning the title shot, but then told me she was Team Bree, essentially. I wasn’t in the mood. But I’m not seeing her tonight either. I have a dinner date after the show.
Cookie: A date? And you didn’t tell me?
It had literally slipped out of my mouth. I didn’t intend to let her know it was going to be a date. The idea was more so to pretend I was slipping out to see Jaina again and then going to see someone else entirely.
Cookie: And with who?
I smirked.
Jordan: You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I’m going out with–
I stopped as Jaina came around the corner and stopped to look at Cookie and I. She let out a breathy sigh and then walked over to me. I looked at Cookie.
Cookie: I’ll head to the locker room.
I watched as Cookie walked away and slowly disappeared from view. I turned to Jaina.
Jordan: Ok, what the fuck was that about!?
Jaina: My mom knows about us. Knows about what happened with you and Kath. She confronted Aunt Bree about it.
Jordan: Why is she so pissed!?
Jaina: She thinks that this will have the whole Helms family wrapped in. That it will hurt Dom’s chances at mending fences with his brothers. So I guess she’s blaming you for that.
Jordan: Jesus christ.
Jaina: I told her this is not your fault. But she wasn’t hearing any of it. Her mind is made up.
Jordan: Does she think I’m some kind of maniacal, mental terrorist or something!? If anyone’s head got fucked with here, it was mine.
Jaina: Hey!
Jordan: No, seriously. It’s not even all your fault. I played right into it so I don’t blame you. But it’s not like I had some super secret plan to fuck with Bree’s life. This is really unbelievable.
I crossed my arms and leaned back into the wall. I closed my eyes and let out one long, deep breath.
Jordan: As if Bree needed some extra reason to want to kick my ass…
Jaina just stood there and didn’t say anything as she looked at me.
Jordan: It was just sex you said, huh? Then how the fuck did it turn into this?
Jaina was still without words as she looked down and then away.
Jaina: This was supposed to be just for fun. I fucked up with Reece and now I fucked up with you. I’m sorry…
Jordan: I’ve got to go. I’ve got somewhere to be.
Jaina didn’t respond as I turned to leave and I kept walking away without looking back once as I made my way to the locker room. Cookie was waiting inside when I got there. She was already out her ring attire and wearing regular clothes. I sat down and just slumped forward as I looked down at my boots. Cookie could sense the issue and sat down next to me. She put her hand on my back and rubbed up and down softly. I let out a sigh and shook my head.
Cookie: So… what’s the verdict?
Jordan: The verdict is… the verdict is you were basically right from the moment you made this seem like it might be a bad idea.
Cookie: Ok, aside from me being a fortune teller… let me just say as nicely as possible that I believe that was pretty obvious if I’m being honest. I just…
Cookie rubbed up and down with a little more pressure.
Cookie: The one thing that I knew would happen is it would go south. I still don’t know how it did because you haven’t told me. But there was so much baggage. You and Jaina had history. You were still dating Kath. Everything is just too connected with all the big players to not cause an issue.
Jordan: Well… you basically nailed it then.
Cookie: How’s that?
Jordan: From what I understand, it sounds like Bree believes this will cause some sort of rift within her fiance’s family and it will make it difficult for him to mend fences with them.
Cookie: As if they all care what that dude is doing. I never got the feeling they cared at all.
Jordan: Right? Still, she’s pissed and now I’m going to have to deal with that.
Cookie: Who says you have to deal with anything?
Jordan: What do you mean?
Cookie: Well, this isn’t really your problem. This is Bree’s problem. She can hate you, but whatever, right? The stuff with Jaina… maybe keep things on the down low or try to back off from that. Ok?
I nodded slowly and turned my head to look over at Cookie.
Jordan: Are we going to talk about this shit with Derek, by the way?
Cookie rolled her eyes and started laughing. My changing the subject was an expert move of aversion to avoid dealing with this Bree shit more than I needed to. I had to start thinking about a match for the goddamned world title right now. As surreal as it still felt to think about that, it was real and it was going to happen. All the talk I’d done about focusing on the tag match tonight… well that was done with. I had to focus squarely on the person that was suddenly irritated with me for something that was mostly out of my control.
Cookie: Yeah, I have no clue what that’s about. He and I haven’t been talking too much and now… this? I don’t really know how to deal with this.
Jordan: I keep wondering though, how does a man who runs a sex toy-selling empire keep doing this while suddenly turning to god. That doesn’t seem to work out from what I know about the good book of spells.
Cookie: Uhh… I don’t know? Why ask me?
Jordan: Well… don’t you own a portion of the company?
Cookie: I do. I have a substantial stake of it.
Jordan: Well, if he doesn’t want it I could help you pull this off. You know, taking over the company. If it’s what you want.
Cookie: Honestly, I really don’t know. My biggest concern right now is where is Daddy at? There’s no way Daddy would want to live with a guy doing stuff like Derek is saying right now. I have a lot to get figured out as far as that’s all concerned. I just want him to be ok.
I looked down and reached over and grabbed Cookie’s hand from her thigh and gave it a light squeeze. I turned myself and put up my other hand and stuck out my pinky finger.
Jordan: Look at us. Just a couple of messes sitting her in the locker room. Me with a crazy ex-fiance situation that is compounded by a crazier situation involving her family and then my ex-girlfriend for some reason, too. And you, separated from a husband that used to sell dildos and now he’s just selling the lord’s word through his social media. Well, when this tag league started I made you a promise and you should know that promise extends to outside of the ring. You’ve been there the whole time I’ve been going through this shit and I need you to know you can expect the exact same thing from me. I’m here for you… through thick and thin.
Cookie looked at me for a moment and then at my pinky and she raised her hand and wrapped her pinky around mine. I then broke the hold and wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close enough that I could kiss the top of her head. There were times like this throughout the past seven months that I stopped and realized how lucky I was to have someone like Cookie in my life. And this was one of them. When I was attached to Bree’s, and by extension Sienna’s, hip, I never had this same level of support. I didn’t get this kind of honest help from someone I could truly call a friend. For everything that Bree was for me, Cookie has become that and then and so much more. I was just one of Bree’s friends. A project for her to work on and mold. Cookie accepted me as I was. Just one of her best friends and an important part of her life. I couldn’t trade that for the world.
December 21 – Los Angeles
My plans changed a bit after Breakdown was over. I sent a text to my date and heard nothing. I woke up to an address in Los Angeles in a reply and headed back home with Cookie. I called the restaurant to set some things up when we got back and then got dressed appropriately for the date. A few hours later I strolled into one of the nicest restaurants in LA and was led to a table by a cute waitress. I ordered a nice bottle of champagne and had them leave it on ice until my date got here. I asked them to bring a piece of chocolate cake later. Dessert before dinner just for fun. I had been slightly surprised by her own insistence that we call this a date. We’d chatted a few times over the last two weeks and each conversation gradually got a bit flirtier. Even though I was facing away from the door, I knew she’d arrived as soon as I heard her heels clanking against the ground in a perfect cadence. I could smell her perfume wafting out ahead of her as she approached and then she appeared, standing there with a smile. Sierra Swann in all her perfect beauty. I stood up to greet her and got a hug.
Sierra: How long have you been here? Did you think I was going to leave you hanging?
I smirked and let out a soft laugh as I sat down in my seat and watched her sit across from me.
Jordan: Just long enough to order some champagne and have them bring it on ice. I didn’t know if you would make it out of jail…
I watched her roll her eyes a little as I teased. Sierra waved her hand at me and then leaned on an elbow as she looked across the table at me.
Sierra: Don’t get me started on that! You said you wanted to celebrate so… let’s just celebrate me shall we?
I grinned and gestured to the waitress to come back and open our champagne and then looked back into Sierra’s blue eyes.
Jordan: I just thought it would be nice to toast to your accomplishment. That new contract. I remember back when we spent a lot of time together and we would talk about how much you wanted to earn that someday. How you imagined fighting alongside your sister and all of her endeavors. And… now you’re here. The most beautiful Swann sister of them all.
Sierra: Mmm… is that really what you think or am I just more attractive because I don’t have a vendetta against you?
I rolled my eyes and laughed and she followed behind me as the waitress popped the cork of the champagne and poured it into our glasses. Sierra’s fingers wrapped around her glass and then I followed.
Sierra: To me then?
Jordan: Why not, boo. To you!
We both raised our glasses and clinked them together. She took a drink and then I followed. It was a little funny to be on a date after just fucking around with an ex for the last month. When I was with Jaina, there was a small part of me that wondered what if when it came to Sierra. And now, here we were. And I was a little awestruck and short on words. Sierra watched me as I looked off to the side for a moment.
Sierra: Something wrong, Jordan?
Jordan: No, I’m… heh.
I smiled and turned back to her.
Jordan: For some reason I’ve gone a little bit shy. I’m not really used to that.
Sierra: Shy for me? It’s not like this is the first time you’ve been around me.
Jordan: Yeah, but you said it’s a date. So it’s a little different. We’re not just getting drunk and making people talk because of the way we got out of a limo together.
Sierra: Let’s not make anyone talk right now if that’s possible…
I reached for my glass, but then stopped as soon as those words came out of her mouth. I wondered, possibly, if I was walking my way into yet another friends with benefits situation. Maybe that would be ok, but it wasn’t a habit I wanted to get into. I knew part of it was surely because of her sister. I was stupid enough to not put that together before this date. I played dumb though.
Jordan: Why’s that?
Sierra: Well, obviously Sienna doesn’t have a lot of love reserved for you at this point. I’d say none. But I know who you are and I know who she is. I’ve always entertained the idea of you and I in my mind and wondered what it might be like. It might have been easier when Sienna and you were on better terms…
Jordan: So does that mean you and I can’t do this then?
Sierra: I didn’t say that. But… we do need to be a little more careful about it. If any of this is to continue, I’m not ready for Sienna to know about any of it. I’m not really ready to deal with that.
I smirked and leaned back into my chair as I brought the glass of champagne to my lips and took a taste.
Sierra: Why the wide grin?
Sierra has a smirk as she asked me. One of the things I’d come to admire about her before is her confidence and playfulness. On the outside, Sierra very much knew who she was and there was denying that.
Jordan: I’ve had this habit of walking into situations lately where I needed to be a bit of a secret. Just funny how I keep having that happen.
Sierra: Surely you didn’t expect me to show up and say Sienna was thrilled that I was going on a date with her arch-nemesis?
Jordan: Arch-nemesis? I’ve never been that for someone…
Sierra: You’re probably barely that anymore, but enough about my sister! And her plans in SCW. Are we not here for me!? Or us?
Jordan: Of course we are. There’s no other Swann I’d want to be here with tonight.
There wasn’t even the hint of Sierra blushing. Just a smile as she sipped champagne. I giggled at her. I swept a few strands of hair over my ear and leaned down against the table.
Jordan: Shame that everything has to be so quiet in our lives. I’ve got this premiere for my show coming up and it feels like it would be exactly your scene. And I’d definitely have the hottest date there by far.
Sierra: I forgot you were doing a TV show. How did all of that turn out? It’s like a space show or something, right?
Jordan: Uh, not really close… you see they decided to take like the old fairy tales and make a show out of it. Where they have super powers. They were calling it the Untitled Grimm Project or something, but it sounds like they’re going to call it Grimm’s Tales.
Sierra: You lost me somewhere around super powers.
I laughed and she laughed along with me.
Sierra: But, I’m sure it’s a cool show. And it has you in it, so I’m sure it will work out.
Jordan: I hope so. They showed me some of the planned attire for Season 2 and it seems like the show is trying to give my character like… a sexy vibe or something.
Sierra: A sexy vibe? You don’t need much help pulling that off.
I smiled and sucked my lip under my teeth and bit down. I couldn’t make Sierra blush, but damn it if she couldn’t make me do just that without so much effort. I stared across the table at Sierra and saw her with the most confident smile. An expression that could kill the faint at heart. I’d let my guard down enough that I let Sierra take control.
Sierra: I can’t say I was too surprised when you texted me.
Jordan: Really?
Sierra: Well, I heard you were back out on the market again. I assumed the reason you didn’t last time was probably because of my sister. I know… guilty of bringing it back up again. But it’s clear now that all of that is more her deal.
Jordan: It’s probably more that I just always wanted to see what this would be like and if I didn’t try now… then would I ever?
Sierra: You sure you’re ready for me?
Sierra had this devilish grin on her face that had me more than interested. It had me hooked like a fish on a line. She was reeling me in closer, too. I leaned my elbows down on the table and smiled.
Jordan: Only a fool would say they didn’t want to try…
I was giving it my best shot. Shooting it right back at her and trying to be just as confident. Sierra seemed hardly surprised by that. I’m sure every suiter that sat in my position had tried to match what Sierra Swann had. But could anyone really match her charisma. Sierra grinned, just one side of her mouth rising up in her smile. A moment later, the waitress who had sat us returned with a piece of chocolate cake I’d ordered earlier and two spoons. Sierra stood up and moved her chair to the side of the table, sitting directly to my right instead of across from me. Could you even do that in a place like this? Even the waitress seemed surprised as she walked away. Sierra dipped her spoon into the chocolate cake and brought a small piece to her lips. She smiled at the taste.
Sierra: You didn’t say anything about cake.
Jordan: Thought you might like a treat.
Sierra kept on grinning as she pushed the spoon through the cake and then brought it to my lips. I looked at her and then opened my mouth. If there were possibly a way to sensually feed someone a small piece of a cake from a spoon, Sierra had done it. Her blue eyes sparkled as she slowly withdrew the spoon.
Jordan: Mmm… that’s really good.
Sierra: Might not be the sweetest thing you taste tonight.
I turned and coughed, nearly choking on the cake. I managed to force it down and then chased it with the champagne. I turned back to see Sierra laughing at me. Not in a mean way, but just chuckling at the situation. I had to laugh softly, too.
Sierra: You must be the type that likes dessert before dinner.
Jordan: Oh my god…
Sierra: But if that dessert did that to you, you might not survive the main course.
Sierra smirked and ran her foot up and down my leg. I leaned closed into the table and grabbed the spoon confidently and cut a piece of the cake to bring to her lips in return. If I was going to die here tonight, I might as well have a little fun first.
Jordan: Guess there’s only one way to find out then…
I returned a smirk back as she ate the cake off my spoon and giggled softly at me. We ordered dinner after that and enjoyed a long conversation. It was nice being around someone that I could just feel comfortable with. I could tell Sierra was trying to convince herself that being on a date with a woman was what she wanted, at first, but then the fact that it was with me seemed to smooth that over. After we finished with dinner and I grabbed the check, I walked Sierra out the front door of the restaurant. We both stared at each other for a moment and then laughed simultaneously. It was definitely a date with awkward moments like this.
Jordan: So.
Sierra: So…
Jordan: This was really… nice. Really, really nice. What if I called you for another one?
Sierra smiled and looked down for a moment. When she looked up she was biting her lip. Then she nodded.
Sierra: That might be nice.
Jordan: Only might?
I had a bit of a panicked look. I could tell because Sierra giggled to herself when she saw my expression and had to look down for a moment to collect herself. When she looked back up we stared at each other. The gap between us slowly closed and then I went for it. I leaned in for a kiss and she met me a quarter of the way. It was nothing like what happened would Jaina and I were savagely tearing at each other in the bedroom. It was sweet. It was nice. It was nothing I expected. There were some small fireworks there, too. It lingered just long enough that I could tell how much Sierra wanted it, too.
Sierra: You’d better call me…
Sierra whispered those words and then she grinned as she stepped away from me. She gave my hand a squeeze as she got into a car and gave me a stare as the car drove off. Just like that. I felt my heart flutter a bit at all the excitement and got into my own Uber. It wasn’t Vihaan. He was somehow busy with a secret project he wouldn’t even tell Cookie about. Just some random old man who spoke about the weather in California for the entire drive home without me saying a word. When I walked into the house, Cookie was in the living room and gave me a look. She sniffed the air like the bloodhound she is and then her eyes went wide.
Cookie: Oh… something new. You have to tell me about this.
Jordan: Right. Let me get out of this dress.
Cookie: Hurry! I’m bored and I’m living vicariously through your personal life and Vihaan’s secrets. So please!
I laughed as I went into my room and worked on dressing down. As I laid the dress back down on my bed, I caught the glimpse of a few presents in the corner. I swallowed and sighed. They were for Kath and Jay. I grabbed my phone and sent Kath a text. I was having fun. I still wasn’t sure what I wanted, yet. But I needed to see her.
December 25 – Santa Monica
Vihaan picked me up on Christmas morning. It was early, even by my standards. But he refused to load any of the gifts into the car for me, claiming he was giving his arms a break after a huge workout the night before. The address wasn’t lost on Vihaan though. He’d been there enough times to know exactly where we were headed. As we headed to Santa Monica, Vihaan spent much of the time staring at me as usual. It was always his way of letting me know he wanted to talk. Except he wanted me to start the conversation.
Jordan: V.
Vihaan: Yes?
Jordan: Just spill it!
Vihaan: Do not spill anything in my car! This is my office! I work very hard to keep this clean. I’m not Vijaan, you understand this?
Jordan: Why are you staring at me as we drive?
Vihaan: I want to know why we are going to Ms. Kathryn’s house. Cookie told me that the two of you were broken up. You loaded up packages…
Jordan: So?
Vihaan: Are you going to kill her?
Jordan: Jesus!? Vihaan!? What is wrong with you!?
Vihaan: That package looked heavy!
Jordan: It was wrapped! In wrapping paper!
Vihaan: How do I know this isn’t a blunt object used to take down a scorned ex-lover? How do I know this?
Jordan: Because it isn’t! These are items I got for her and her son in advance and I still wanted to give them to her because I still care about her and Jay. This whole fucking thing is so messy, but I’m not a bad person. I’m not! I’m just… mixed up, V. Everyone is putting so much pressure on me to know exactly what I want and I’m only 24 goddamn years old! I’m trying so hard to make everyone happy, but somehow I’m screwing that up basically daily. It’s just… so freaking hard sometimes.
Vihaan didn’t answer at first. I looked up and saw he wasn’t even looking at me. Like maybe I’d just freaked him out with my little freak out or something. I looked at the seat in front of me and sighed before looking out the window as we reached Santa Monica.
Vihaan: You shouldn’t really worry about making anyone happy.
Jordan: I shouldn’t?
I looked back and saw Vihaan shaking his head.
Vihaan: All we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us.
I was shocked by Vihaan’s sudden wisdom. I think I slightly slumped backward and my eyes felt like they went wide. My mouth definitely dropped in surprise.
Jordan: Wow, that was… that was really nice.
Vihaan: I know it is. Gandalf says it in Lord of the Rings.
That response made me sigh and roll my eyes. We went back to small talk until he pulled into Kath’s driveway. I went to get out of the car and retrieve the gifts, but he turned back to me and stopped me.
Vihaan: I will wait for you. But don’t worry too much about what happens in there. The one thing I’ve learned about you is that you always figure it out. You bounce back better than anyone.
Jordan: What move is that from?
Vihaan: It’s not from a movie, Ms. Jordan. It’s your life.
I stared for a moment before smiling and climbing out of the car. I retrieved the presents, one being heavy as Vihaan had mentioned and made my way toward the front door. I rang her bell and stood there. I took a deep breath like I was psyching myself up or something. It didn’t exactly feel normal that I was visiting my ex-girlfriend with Christmas presents like a month after we split up. But it was something I needed to do. The door opened to Kath wearing something definitely Christmas themed. She had already warned me she didn’t have long before she would be going to Dave and Regan’s place to celebrate. That was so unique to me. I could never imagine my mom taking me to my dad’s place, wherever the hell he was, to have Christmas with his other family. Kath did it happily. We should all be so lucky to live like that.
Kathryn: Kylie… I didn’t know you were bringing gifts…
Jordan: Uhh, yes. Just some things.
We both stood there at her front door. It was awkward. She stepped to the side and gestured into the house and I walked in and headed right for the kitchen counter like I still lived there. I put the gifts on the counter and took a moment to look around. It was weird how this place still felt like home.
Jordan: It looks nice in here.
Kathryn: Thanks. So, what’s with the gifts?
Jordan: Don’t hate me for this…
Kathryn: Please, Kylie. I’ll never hate you. Not unless you do something much worse than what you did.
Jordan: Really?
Kathryn: I’ve been in your shoes before. I know you probably have guilt and regret. I’m not going to hate you over your mistake. I’m just disappointed that this happened to us after I made the choice to let you in. And I told you that. Jay is my world. You had every opportunity to become a part of that. The kid loves you. He still absolutely loves you. He lost his mind over you beating Syren in that cage match. And he already told his dad he hopes you beat Bree.
I laughed softly and smiled.
Jordan: So that his dad can kick my ass, probably. Right?
Kath smiled and laughed softly back at me. She just shrugged.
Kathryn: I’ve just tried to tell him that… these things happen between adults. He misses you as much as I–
Kath cut herself off and sighed. She looked down and then away from me. I turned back to the presents and grabbed the biggest one.
Jordan: Anyway, so don’t hate me. But I got the kid the new Xbox thing. He told me it was supposed to be amazing or something so I contacted Microsoft back in the fall and they hooked me up. I probably have to sell them now or pretend I’m a big gamer, but, that’s what this is.
Kathryn: Great. He’ll probably never leave his room again.
Jordan: Also, I got him all the new SCW figures that are coming out next month. I’m in that collection, so they gave me some of them already. So that’s what the rest of it is. I think there’s even a David Helms in there for him to act out all of the violence he hopes his dad gets to put me through.
Kathryn: Stop it!
I laughed and Kath rolled her eyes and shook her head. I turned back and grabbed another package and handed it to her.
Kathryn: What’s this?
Jordan: Just open it.
Kath slowly pulled the wrapping away from the present to reveal another action figure.
Kathryn: Uhh, you got me a… little you?
I laughed hard enough I almost snorted and then waved my hand at her.
Jordan: So this was the figure they initially wanted to make. It’s the gear you made me for Rise to Greatness. I loved it, but SCW didn’t clear it. I don’t know why exactly, but the toy guys gave this one to me. I wanted you to have it though. I appreciated the work you put into making those kits and I know that one was made to be extra special. I felt like you deserved this as a display of your work at the highest level. And that figure is one of a kind. I know it’s a really weird gift because I’m sure the last thing you want to see is my face all the time, but…
Kathryn: It’s really nice. I can put it in my office at the store. Thank you. I understand why you thought this should go to me.
I watched Kath as she studied the box and then put it down on the counter.
Kathryn: I didn’t get you anything.
Jordan: I didn’t expect you to.
It grew quiet. Awkward. I looked at her and she returned the glance with a bit of a smile.
Kathryn: So how are things going?
Jordan: Right, it has been awhile since we’ve really talked. I’m just still trying to figure everything out.
Kathryn: What do you mean by that?
Jordan: It’s like you told me that day. I don’t know what I want yet. And I clearly don’t. Maybe someday I will, but… I’m not in a hurry to figure that all out I suppose.
Kathryn: The only thing you have figured out is your best friend being Cookie.
Jordan: I guess that’s true.
Kathryn: No, I know it’s true.
Jordan: Are you mad at me or something?
Kathryn: That’s a funny question. I told you last month that I wasn’t mad as much as I was just shocked and disappointed. But you know what? I was a little angry with you. I was mad that you had fooled me into letting you as far in as I had. But then that subsided. I got over the anger quickly. The more I thought about it, I was just sad.
I sighed and looked down.
Kathryn: I was sad because when I look at you, I just… pity you. I’m a grown ass woman, Kylie. I have to make decisions and I have to stick to them. I can’t live like you’re trying to live right now. You don’t know what you want. You told me I was what you wanted, but then you were out hooking up with your ex-girlfriend. Clearly trying to get back with her.
That wasn’t happening either. I shook my head and looked away, off to the side.
Kathryn: The only thing you know in your life is that you want Cookie by your side as your best friend. That’s it. And that’s fine for a 24-year-old I suppose. But it’s not going to work for me. So unless you can commit to just me and not roaming around wanting to hook up with anything you see that interests you, this won’t work between us. And I pity you because I was willing to give you everything, and you turned that down. I don’t think you’ll ever get that from Jaina. Maybe I’m wrong, but–
Jordan: That’s not happening. Me and Jaina. It’s just… it’s not happening. Ok?
Kathryn: So you threw us away for, what? Just a few nights in her bed?
Jordan: I just fucked up. I fucked it all up. The only thing I’m really good at is dropping a bomb right in the middle of my life and then trying to pick up the pieces that are left. I’m sorry you got to experience all the worst parts of me.
Kathryn: I’m not. No, really; I’m not sorry that I saw you at your best or your worst. And I’d accept you at your best and your worst, too. What I won’t do is invite other people in to share you. I’m just not wired that way…
I shook my head and leaned against the kitchen counter.
Jordan: I’m sorry, too, for whatever problems I’ve caused. I know everyone in the family knows what went down. They’ve all stopped talking to me. I apparently caused some sort of rift between the Helms and Lancaster families just because of this.
Kathryn: I’m not sure that’s true at all.
Jordan: I don’t know, but I’ve stepped away from that. I’m trying to get things figured out. But I can’t do that if I’m letting things play with my head. I’m really sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, Kath. And whatever pain I’ve caused for Jay. I don’t want to be away, but I understand how it’s weird to have me around. I know I did something really terrible. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for it. But–
Kathryn: Kylie…
Jordan: Let me just say this. I need to say it. You might never understand exactly how much I appreciate you for taking in a lost girl with no place to turn and helping her find some sort of path forward. Maybe you should have known then how likely I was to blow things up in an instant. But I will never forget what you did for me. I will never forget the time we shared together, the risque texts, the chances we took with each other. For me it was all worth it. I don’t regret a second of the time we spent together. I’ll always regret hurting you.
Kath crossed her arms and looked away from me.
Jordan: I won’t hurt you again. I can promise you that.
Kath looked at me and she nodded. My phone buzzed with a text and I checked it to see Vihaan asking me how much longer I would be inside.
Jordan: I’m not going to keep you any longer. I know you’ve got to get going soon. I’ve got to go home and start thinking about how I will fight Bree.
Kathryn: You beat Syren… so why not, right?
I smiled and looked at Kath.
Jordan: Goodbye Kath. And Merry Christmas to you and Jay. Give him a tight hug for me. Please?
I turned and headed for the door and left Kath and her home behind me. This time I wasn’t leaving with tears in my eyes. I had said what I felt I needed to say. I wasn’t ready to commit to anything like what she needed me to. I got into the car and took a look back at the house once more and then turned to see Vihaan looking back at me.
Vihaan: Back to the farm then?
I stared at Vihaan for a moment and then grinned as I put my seatbelt on. I knew Cookie was in Las Vegas on her own. She’d left yesterday to go see her dad, but I knew she was staying alone at a hotel since her and Derek were on the outs.
Jordan: How would you feel about going to Las Vegas?
Vihaan: Vegas!? For Ms. Cookie!?
Jordan: Yeah, let’s give Cookie the greatest present of all for Christmas.
Vihaan: Me!?
I laughed and shook my head.
Jordan: Uh, sure…
Vihaan fiddled with his phone as he looked for a route to Las Vegas and I turned and gave the house one last look. Kath was the wisest person I’ve ever met. She was always so insightful. When she said the only thing I know is that I need Cookie in my life, she never meant it negatively. But she was right. Cookie was the most important person in my life. And right now I needed her as much as she needed someone to be with her on Christmas day.
Promo
A phone camera flips on to show Jordan Majors sitting in the back of a moving car. She smiles to the camera.
Hey everyone! I’m on my way to Las Vegas right now to spend Christmas with my best friend Cookie. I have a lot on my mind. I was thinking about things I’m thankful for. And the thing I’m most thankful for right now is you fans. If you’re watching this and you voted for me to get this shot at the World Championship against Bree Lancaster, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank. You.
I’ve spent so much of my life not knowing what I want. It’s kind of been my thing. Ask around and they will tell you. It’s her thing. But sitting here right now on Christmas, in this car, I know what I want. I want to be the World Champion. Interim or not, it doesn’t matter to me. The SCW fans, you guys, you made that possibility a reality and I’m sitting here just so incredibly… humbled by it. It’s so nice to know that outside of those closest to me that others do care. It’s nice to know that what Cookie and I are doing as a team is making a small difference in how perception of what we’re able to do has changed. People don’t look at this team as a joke anymore. This team has given people hope. It has given them something to cheer for, something and I’m sorry Selena as i know this is your thing, but something to believe in.
This past year has been a real whirlwind for me. The year started out hot, but then things hit a sort of speed bump somewhere in the middle. I was fighting with everything I had in the middle of the year and just surviving. Then this tag team opportunity fell into our laps and we weren’t about to let that turn into nothing. I’d like to think that the way I fought in each of those sections of the year added up to the fans thinking I was deserving of this opportunity. It’s something I dreamt of as a little girl. So, yeah, it’s something that I’ve wanted a crack at for as long as I could lace up my boots. I’ve been underestimated more times than I could count. I’ve been tossed aside and treated like a second class citizen. But I’ve never taken my eye off the prize. I’ve never stopped taking advantage of every opportunity that has been put in front of me.
This won’t be any different. If you think I’d be willing to just let this slip between my fingers, well… you either haven’t been paying attention or you just don’t believe in what I’m doing here. I’ve never backed down from a challenge and I’m competing at the highest level of my career. I’m ready for this. I owe it to every single person that voted for me and I owe it to myself to see this through and walk away from the End of the Year special with the World Title wrapped securely around my waist. Every single thing I’ve done in SCW has led up to this. Jordan Majors as a strong, confident, and humble World Champion that all of SCW can be proud of. Leading up to a match I’m sure everyone has been hungry for since I pinned David Helms back before Taking Hold of the Flame, right?
This match means everything to me and I will be thanking you fans for the rest of days. You’ve given me the path to the World Title on a silver platter. I won’t let you down. I knew the moment I signed my contract with SCW that I would reach this moment. I just never knew it would be thanks to all of you. I have an army of you behind me now. So I will make damn sure I walk out of Toronto as the champion you desire. You can take that to the bank, my friends. Because Jordan Majors is money.
Jordan winks and blows a kiss to the camera as she ends the video.
Everything You Wish You Could Be 