December 31 – Toronto
I drove my shoulder off the mat with everything I had left, but I felt the weightlessness of my opponent letting go of me, and then the bell rang. I rolled on to my side and heard her music start blaring. I closed my eyes tightly and rolled over onto my back. The official spoke with me, but I couldn’t hear him over the mixture of boos and cheers from the crowd. I looked over to see Bree and Dave standing face to face with their titles held high. That was supposed to be MY moment. But here I was, rolling to the outside of the ring. When I reached the apron, I slumped to the floor and leaned back against the ring. I smacked my right palm against the floor in frustration and then let out a deep sigh. I sat there as the show went off the air, and I knew it had ended when Bree walked down the steps nearest me. She looked over at me, seeing my face in defeat, and she couldn’t help but smirk. I sneered back, but on the opposite side of me I felt a shoulder.
Jordan: I said I’m fine!
I turned to look up and saw Dave. Not the official. He offered a hand down to me and I reached up and let him pull me up to my feet. My knee was killing me. Putting weight on it hurt like no other. The adrenaline of the match was quickly wearing off as the reality set in. I’d lost my chance at the World Title. It was gift wrapped by the fans. My first opportunity at it. My first chance to even sniff any sort of gold in nearly eight months.
Dave: Easy. Easy.
I let Dave help me stand and put an arm around him instinctively to help me walk as he steered me toward the ramp.
Dave: Tough loss, doll. You fought hard though. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I rolled my eyes. He saw it and laughed.
Dave: Hey now, I told you what to expect didn’t I? I told you she was going to attack the knee when she needed to take control. She probably could have gone further if she wanted to. But she smelled blood and hit that spear on you. It was–
Jordan: It was exactly like you laid it out. I know. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t completely suck.
Dave: Come on. Chin up. You lost a title match, but you’re not done yet. You’ve still got a lot left in you. Take what you can from this. Learn from this and–
Jordan: And in another half year I can get another opportunity thrown my way? Yeah, awesome.
Dave: Listen, I get it. But this is the game now. You’re going to get your opponents best shot. No one is overlooking you. Not after what you’ve done with Sienna, Syren, Bree, hell, even that match with me. Maybe you think you’re the underdog still, but no one is making the mistake of taking you lightly again. Every match is going to be hard. Every one of them is going to test you in a different way.
We ascended through the curtain to the backstage area. Bree was celebrating with her group already as they made their way toward their locker room. Sierra saw me and gave me a knowing smile. It was so odd seeing that from her. Cookie suddenly appeared in front of me and got to the other side as we moved down the hall.
Cookie: Is she ok?
Dave: I don’t know if her knee is hurt more, or her pride.
Cookie: Damnit. We need that knee healthy. Can’t you do some Me. Miyagi shit and fix it?
Jordan: I’m right fucking here, you two. Right in the middle of you. My knee is fine.
Dave: Yeah, well, let’s get you checked up anyway.
Neither one of them said another word as we walked down toward the trainer’s area. Dave and Cookie helped me up on the table and I leaned back against the wall as the trainer walked in. Dave put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
Dave: Don’t dwell on this. You’ve got to pick yourself up and keep going. If you can do that, this won’t be your last time fighting for that.
I stared at him for a moment, bit my lip and then nodded so I could look down. The trainer looked at my knee and then got a bag of ice to put on it. It didn’t feel like it did when Infamous tried to rip it to shreds, but it was important to be careful with it. It felt like Dave had just left when I looked up and saw someone I didn’t expect at all to be walking in. Another Lancaster.
Amy: How’s the knee?
I shrugged.
Jordan: It’s ok. I think.
Amy: I’ve seen Bree do that before. Actually she might have shown you a bit of mercy there at the end. She knew exactly what she was doing.
I said nothing but nodded.
Amy: Anyway, I just wanted to check since we helped you out with it last time…
Amy looked at me and then at Cookie. It felt like she had something she wanted to say. I looked to my best friend.
Jordan: Hey, boo, can Amy and I have a minute?
Cookie: Uh, ok. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…
I managed to smile and laugh softly as Cookie left the room. The first time I’d shown any real emotion beyond despair since the end of the match.
Jordan: What’s up, Amy. You seem like you have something to say?
Amy: I don’t really want to pry into your business. But what’s the deal with you and Dave?
Jordan: He’s a friend. He helped me prepare for the match. Apparently it didn’t work though.
Amy made a face. It looked like that answer had surprised her. I found that… odd.
Jordan: What is it?
Amy: Well, from what I heard I assumed maybe he would be angry at you.
Jordan: I mean, I guess? But we spoke and he understood. I mean. I think he sort of did.
Amy: Listen, I don’t pretend to know all of what’s going on. With you and Jaina… and your girlfriend.
Jordan: Ex-girlfriend.
Amy: Right…
Jordan: And nothing is going on. Kath and I broke up. I haven’t really spoken with Jaina.
Amy: I’m sorry about you and Kath.
Jordan: Don’t be sorry for me. It’s my fault. I messed up. She didn’t deserve that, and I don’t deserve what she was willing to give me right now.
Amy: Don’t talk like that. These things are hard.
Jordan: It doesn’t seem all that hard for you. Husband, boyfriend…
Amy: Well… the key word there is, permission.
I roll my eyes and laugh. She laughs, too.
Jordan: I don’t know what’s going on with all of this stuff anymore. Bree, Jaina, all of that. I took a step back from it. I couldn’t give Jaina what she wanted from me. I just wanted more than she wanted to give. I understand it. I messed up with her, too.
Amy: I didn’t know any of that.
Jordan: Not exactly something you share with your mom is it? Or, well… you and Jaina have a different relationship so who knows.
Amy sort of half smiles.
Amy: We did. It’s been a little different since she moved to Bree’s. I’m actually only finding these things out second and third hand.
Jordan: Oh…
Amy: Mainly from Jason. At the risk of sticking my nose in too far, can I offer some advice?
Jordan: I guess so.
Amy: First of all, don’t beat yourself up too much, everyone makes mistakes. I’ve certainly made more than my share, even similar ones to yours.
I looked at her a little shocked. She was being very honest with me. I grew up a fan and didn’t know much about her out of the ring. Jaina didn’t always want to talk about it.
Amy: But also… Dave might have seen your side and understood and such, but I wouldn’t forget about Regan if I were you. She’s pretty close to little Jay, very protective of him. I mean, you saw her after Ravyn Taylor made a thinly veiled threat. I know you and Cookie are facing her soon…. Just be prepared.
Jordan: She has a temper, I know.
Amy: She does, I’ve been on the wrong side of it more than I’d like. Just keep that in mind, okay?
Jordan: I will.
Amy smiles again.
Amy: Okay. Well… I should go…
Cookie: And I’m back!
Jordan: Did you… even go anywhere?
Cookie: I stood just around the corner and listened to your conversation quietly.
Jordan: That’s not exactly how this works. You know what, nevermind boo. Amy, it was nice to see you. Say hello to Wyatt for me.
Amy: Yeah, take care of that knee. If you need help with it again, you’re welcome to come by the gym.
Jordan: Yeah, thanks.
Amy turned and left the room as Cookie sat next to me on the table. She looked down at me and smiled.
Cookie: Your knee is going to be ready for the tag match, right?
Jordan: Is that all you care about?
Cookie: No… but I do care about it a lot.
I let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling.
Cookie: Are you sure you’re going to be ok? We’ve got to be at our best. This is the one we’ve had circled for months. We knew this one would be a big one. Now there’s a lot on the line. I mean, if we don’t beat them we have to face them or Dark Fantasy…. AGAIN!
Jordan: Cookie, fuck, I know. Let me grieve for a moment.
Cookie went completely quiet and just stared at me. I let out a deep sigh and sat there. My knee would be fine. I would be ready for that match. It was awkwardly silent for a few minutes before Cookie had to say something.
Cookie: How about now?
Jordan: What?
Cookie: Are you better now!?
I shot Cookie a look and she smiled back. Her lips curled into more of a grin as we looked at each other. I couldn’t help but smile back.
Jordan: I’m fine. I mean, I’m going to be fine. I’m going to be ready, too. This just sucks.
Cookie: Of course it does. I mean, I would have loved to have that opportunity you just had and I know I would feel the same way if it went down like that for me.
Jordan: You’ll get a chance.
Cookie: Yeah, maybe. But nothing is guaranteed.
Jordan: I know that…
Cookie: Do you though? If we go out there and beat Frozen Hell, if we win this whole tag league, then we get a shot at the Tag Team Championships. We beat Chris and Lucas once before, who says we couldn’t do it again. We have a real chance. So even though you are struggling right now, don’t lose sight of what’s ahead of us.
Jordan: I haven’t lost sight of anything. I’ve had this moment in my mind since I agreed to do this with you. I’m mad I lost. I’m downright pissed. The only thing this has done is pushed me to make damn sure we make it to the finals. And if Bree and Sienna make it there on the other side, god help them, because they’re about to lose to the best team in the tag league.
Cookie: Frozen Hell?
I playfully shove Cookie and she hops off the table to her feet as she laughs.
Cookie: I’m kidding.
Jordan: This team, the Psychonauts, it’s been the most fun I’ve had in my whole wrestling career. I’ve been in tag teams with lovers, my brother, random people… nothing will ever compare to this time we’ve had fighting together. You’re amazing, Cookie. The strongest person I’ve ever fought alongside. People just don’t realize what’s coming yet. I’m proud of everything we’ve accomplished but I’m hardly satisfied.
Cookie: So we’re doing this then, yeah? We’re going to win this tag league?
Jordan: We have to.
Cookie reached out with her pinky and I wrapped mine around it and smiled.
Cookie: Ok, fix your knee so we can get out of here.
Jordan: Fix my knee!?
Cookie: I don’t want to carry your ass out of here!
I rolled my eyes.
Jordan: Get out of here! I’ll be there in a minute.
I watched as Cookie disappeared from view and I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. I inhaled and exhaled deeply and then let my eyes open to focus on nothing in particular. I’d dreamt my whole life of getting a shot at the World Championship. But it didn’t pan out. Now, everyone was telling me I needed to look forward to what was next. That was easier said than done. But I had to do it. This business can be cruel in that way. It never stops for anyone. And if it does stop for you, you’re probably done. I had a lot to be proud of in 2020, but I couldn’t be satisfied with finishing the year off with a loss in the biggest match of my career. I wanted more big matches. I needed to do everything it takes to make sure I kept on earning these chances. Losing to Bree in a World Title match just left me craving more. I’d tasted just enough to make me dangerous. I needed more.
January 1 – Toronto
I woke up to a text the next morning. I stirred in bed and saw Cookie wasn’t even in the room. I reached for the phone and read the text. Sierra. I smiled and got out of bed, searching for clothes so I could quickly leave the room to rendezvous with the other Swann sister. I still didn’t know how we would make this work in the long run, but we’d figure it out if I got there. I was positive of that. I put on some shorts and kept on the t-shirt I was already wearing and left the room. I was still a bit curious as to where Cookie had wandered off to, but I wasn’t going to spend too much time worrying about her. She never found too much trouble. I took the elevator up two floors and stepped off, looking for Sierra. I took a few steps down the hall and suddenly someone grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me into the room with the ice machine. Instantly a pair of lips were on mine. I smiled around the kiss. There was no denying those lips. I opened my eyes to see the gorgeous blonde that stood in front of me.
Jordan: Hey…
Sierra: Happy New Year.
Jordan: So you kept your word?
Sierra: What’s that supposed to mean?
Jordan: You showed up for a New Year’s kiss no matter what the result of the match was. Like you said.
Sierra: And like I said, you just had to wait until the celebrations were over. I have to keep up appearances. You know this.
I laughed quietly and then sighed.
Jordan: Don’t I ever.
I looked at Sierra and noticed she was already completely dressed, wearing her signature makeup style with her hair done up. We must have looked like complete opposites standing there together.
Sierra: Did I wake you up?
Jordan: Yeah… I guess I slept through Cookie leaving the room and everything.
Sierra: What did you take some pills or something?
Jordan: No, I stopped using that shit.
Sierra: Woah? I was kidding, but good to know I guess?
Jordan: Long story, but better without them.
I reached up to the tall blonde and swept some of her perfectly done hair behind her ear. She leaned into it a bit tentatively. I pulled my hand back and smiled at her.
Jordan: Sorry.
Sierra: It’s ok.
Jordan: So, how’d you escape the crew?
Sierra: Escape? I just left my room and picked a floor no one was staying on.
Jordan: Oh…
I laughed to myself and leaned a shoulder against the wall.
Jordan: I just remember always like… I turned around and Bree was there when I was on the road. But maybe that was more my fault… I’m still trying to figure that all out.
Sierra: Don’t spend too much time thinking about it.
Jordan: I’ll try not to.
Sierra: Call me when you get home? We can go get dinner and talk. Get some more time together.
Jordan: You should come out and see the house. See all the work we’ve done to it.
Sierra: The house? I don’t know. What about Cookie?
Jordan: Oh, about that…
I started to laugh and Sierra shot me a look.
Sierra: What do you mean… about that?
Jordan: I might have told Cookie, and Vihaan actually, that we went on a date…
Sierra: Jordan!? Are you crazy!? What if they tell someone?
Jordan: Who is Cookie going to tell?
Sierra: What about the Uber driver?
Jordan: What about him?
Sierra: Are you sure he isn’t loose lipped or something?
Jordan: He might be, but who’s going to believe him?
Sierra tilted her head to the side.
Sierra: He won more matches yesterday than you did.
Jordan: Ouch!
Sierra: I’m just saying!
I laughed and grabbed her hands.
Jordan: Trust me. It’ll be ok!
Sierra: Can I trust you Jordan Majors?
She tilted her head slightly to the side and gave me a look. I smiled innocently.
Jordan: Of course you can. Yes. You can trust me, Sierra.
Sierra: Ok, well… have a safe trip back home and call me. And, don’t spend too much time thinking about losing. Just use it however you need to. Then kick some ass with Cookie and make it to the finals.
I leaned forward with a smile and she leaned in and kissed me. She broke the kiss and leaned in close to whisper in my ear.
Sierra: I thought you looked good last night. I was even cheering for you. Our secret, right?
She started to walk past me and I held on to her hand until I felt her pulling me. I waited until she was gone, just in case, and then made my way to the elevator and back to the room. Cookie wasn’t there, so I jumped in the shower and then got ready. Cookie and I had to catch a flight later, but I still didn’t know where she was. I got dressed and packed my things and got a text from Cookie.
Cookie text: Car’s here for us.
Shit! I didn’t know the car was going to be here that early! I stuffed the rest of my stuff in my suitcase and ran for the stairs, dragging it down behind me until I reached the front doors of the hotel. Cookie was standing there, but no car was nearby.
Jordan: Where’s the car?
Cookie: Right there!
I turned and saw a car coming toward us slowly. It was shiny and new. A black as the night with tinted windows that obscured who the driver was. As the car pulled up, I watched the windows roll down and then saw the driver behind the wheel of the Cadillac Escalade.
Jordan: Are you fucking kidding me?
Vihaan: Ms. Jordan! Ms. Cookie! Look at my brand new car!
Cookie: Nope, this is his new car.
Jordan: What!?
Cookie: The match he won. It was money and this car.
Jordan: But this… that car… his Civic…
Vihaan: Fuck Honda Civic. I drive with the big boys now. Vijaan will be so jealous. I cannot wait to see his stupid face with his terrible facial hair. It looks like his crotch spread to his face. That bitch.
I tentatively opened the back door and got in. Suddenly I wondered if Sierra was right. Could I really trust that Vihaan wouldn’t spill the beans to the wrong person?
Vihaan: So Ms. Jordan, did you make kissy face with Sienna?
Apparently I couldn’t trust him. Not even to name the right sister.
Jordan: Uh, you will never see me kissing Sienna. I used to kiss her ass, but not anymore.
Vihaan: Woah! Kinky girl! You’re more than just a lesbian.
Jordan: What does that even mean?
Cookie: I think that means that… actually I don’t even know what that means. To the airport, Vihaan. We have to leave Tokyo behind us!
I looked down and shook my head. There was a lot going on in this conversation right now. I looked at Cookie and sighed.
Jordan: He IS taking us to the airport, right? This isn’t about to be him trying to drive us all the way back to California? Because I don’t have the time or patience for that.
Cookie: He is going to just drop us off and then he will be driving himself home I guess. I told him we needed to be home today, not tomorrow.
Vihaan: I don’t know why you two even complain. It’s only 37 hours.
Jordan: Yeah… I prefer the 4 or 5 hour flight. Thanks though.
Vihaan: Your loss!
I rolled my eyes and looked over at Cookie. She was chuckling lightly. Vihaan was completely ridiculous, but he was our ridiculous. He had almost become a part of my family. I was equally proud and envious that he’d just won this battle royal and was reaping in the rewards of all these prizes. Somehow, my Uber driver had stolen the damn show. What on earth was happening?
Cookie: Did you see her?
Cookie was speaking so quietly I barely heard her. I moved closer, speaking quietly so Vihaan couldn’t listen and chime in.
Jordan: See her?
Cookie: The Swann that you actually like?
Jordan: Oh… yeah… why?
Cookie: I left the room this morning thinking you might have her come by for a drive by.
Jordan: A drive by?
Cookie: Like… a blow and go?
Jordan: Cookie!?
Cookie: Munch and hunch?
Jordan: Jesus christ, Ethel!
Cookie: What!?
I shook my head and let out a sigh as I laughed.
Jordan: It’s not like that. I’m not just hooking up with her. This is different.
Cookie: So, you’re just friends then?
Jordan: No, we’re taking things at a regular speed.
Cookie: Oh, so for once you’re not trying to date like The Flash. Just zooming through a relationship start to finish.
Jordan: Ok, that’s kind of harsh.
Cookie: If you and Jaina had gotten married, maybe you would have been divorced within the week.
Jordan: SHUT UP!
Vihaan pulled the car to a sudden stop and turned around to look at us.
Vihaan: I will not have any of this shit in my car. No fighting! This interior is brand new. And you’re harshing my vibe. This car is a 5-star ride. 6-stars in many other places. I will not have you ruin that!
Jordan: Ok, sheesh!
Vihaan: I will not have it!
Vihaan stared at us like a dad scolding his children before turning around and facing the wheel. The car started moving again and Cookie shot me a look. She mouthed “holy shit” to me and I laughed softly and nodded. Vihaan was on another level.
Cookie: How are you feeling today?
Jordan: Me? I’m better. I slept it off. We’ve got to start focusing on Frozen Hell now, so that’s my mindset.
Cookie: If Bree is any indication, Regan is going to be pissed at you.
Jordan: Why would Regan be mad at me?
Cookie: I heard Amy warn you! Because of Kath and because now David can’t be friends with his brother. Isn’t that what Bree said?
Jordan: She did, but Cookie, David helped me train for the match with Bree. I don’t think Regan has any issues with me like that.
Cookie: I wouldn’t be so sure. Regan and Kath are like sister wives. They rely on each other and they’re best friends and–
Jordan: You are confusing the hell out of me right now, boo. I’m not worried about Regan being mad at me. Regan is an intense breed of a person, but if she’s mad about that, I haven’t heard about it. I would assume she would just tell me. She’s probably happy that she doesn’t have to share a plane with me anymore. I was like the weird one sitting in the corner all the time.
Cookie: But you forget that when it comes to Jay, Regan is like another mama bear. You hurt Jay by doing all of this, too.
I frowned and looked down.
Cookie: I don’t think any video games or action figures are going to fix that.
Jordan: I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about all of that. I didn’t want to hurt Jay.
Cookie: The world knows exactly what you did now. So even if Regan or Dave didn’t have the whole picture, they do now. Regan seems… a little less forgiving than Kath if I’m being honest.
Jordan: Are you saying she’s going to walk into the ring and stomp my face in because of Jay?
Cookie: Are you saying she’s not?
I sighed and shook my head.
Jordan: It sucks. It really does. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I acted like an idiot. I was so freaking selfish. It literally kills me that I hurt Jay. The kid is awesome.
Cookie: Yeah you’re like… public enemy number 1 for a bunch of people now. You’re probably the one person without a title that needs to watch their back the most.
Jordan: Surely it can’t be that bad. Like I said, Dave helped me!
Cookie: Yeah, and I bet Regan spanked him for it.
Jordan: Huh!?
Cookie: Anyway, so what about the icy glares of Selena?
Jordan: Is that a winter weather joke?
Cookie: No! Maybe…
I laughed and shook my head.
Jordan: Honestly, we’ve just got to go and do our thing. We’ll prepare our asses off and just go into this and be ourselves. If we change up the way we’ve been doing things, we’d be stupid. What we’re doing has been working.
Cookie nodded silently.
Vihaan: But has it?
Jordan: What, V?
Vihaan: Take it from me, the 2020 SCW End of the Year Invitational Champion.
Jordan: That’s not a thing!
Vihaan: A new approach isn’t always bad. Look at you Ms. Jordan.
Jordan: What about me?
Vihaan: You used the same approach as always with your match, and you lost.
Jordan: Fuck off!
Vihaan: Even in your personal life. The same approach. And now you are dumped.
Jordan: Seriously, V. I don’t have time to deal with this shit.
Vihaan: This is my office. You will listen to me!
Jordan: What if I were to give you a 4-star rating?
Vihaan: You wouldn’t!
I pulled out my phone and opened up the Uber app and found his profile. I showed it his was and held it up.
Jordan: Or would I?
Vihaan: Damn you woman! You lost, not me! Don’t do this to me!
I moved my thumb closer to the rating area on the screen and looked at him through the rear view mirror.
Vihaan: Fine! Do what you’ve been doing and Frozen Hell will lose!
Jordan: Thank you!
I winked at Cookie and she laughed. Vihaan drove us the rest of the way to the airport and we boarded our plane and headed back home. The sting of the loss was still present, but it was fading as I shifted gears. The promise I made to Cookie, and myself, had to take precedent now. Living in the past would just be another win for Bree and whoever else wanted to see me fall on my face more. It was up to me to take control and steer myself back in the right direction. And with the true hidden gem of talent in this company by my side, I knew anything was possible.
January 4, 2020
After Cookie and I got back to Los Angeles, my agent or manager or whatever she decided she – Karen – dropped me a line that the studio had called a mandatory meeting for the show. This was a bit alarming in some ways. Last I’d heard everything was going smoothly. Izzy had even been sent to show me sketches of things for season two. Netflix was really into the concept of this show. They’d finally chosen a name for the previously unnamed Grimm project. Red’s Tales. Unbelievably, the show was being mostly framed around my character. Must have been the reason for all the changes at the end. I arrived on set to find my blonde co-star Ashley, my onscreen love, talking with my ex friend Izzy, someone I’d slept with once. Quite a world I’m living in these days.
Izzy: There she is. The loser of the hour.
Jordan: Gee, thanks you bitch. Good to see you, too!
Izzy: You’re welcome, hooker!
I rolled my eyes and looked at Ashley.
Jordan: Any idea what this is about?
Ashley: I have a pretty good idea. My agent dug into it.
Jordan: They do that?
Ashley: You… need a new agent, hun.
I sighed and shook my head.
Jordan: Karen is… she’s something. Anyway…
Ashley: This is about reshoots.
Jordan: Reshoots? I thought we were done?
Ashley: Studio loved certain things. Wanted to see more of other things. If you thought that kiss was hot… they’re going to move that into an episode halfway through. Watch.
Jordan: Ok… doesn’t that kind of ruin the finale?
Ashley: Not after they do the sex scene.
Izzy started to giggle to herself, but loud enough that I could hear what she was doing.
Jordan: I thought this was a show for like… teens!?
Ashley: This is Netflix. Streaming. They can do whatever they want.
Jordan: But the show was supposed to air at the end of next month!?
Ashley: Oh, it might. You’d be surprised how fast they can add or cut stuff for Netflix. Like one time I filmed a scene for an episode of Black Mirror and a week later it aired. And I wasn’t even in it.
I narrowed my eyes in confusion, not sure how that was exactly related. I saw Izzy still laughing. She knew from the little lunch meeting that I was a little too modest to being tossing myself into a sex scene. I hoped Ashley was wrong. But she seemed confident that was the direction. I heard a man clear his throat and looked to see our director, Tim, waving in the small crowd of people toward him.
Tim: Everyone! Come in close. This is only going to take a minute… for now…
I huddled in closer with Ashley and Izzy and crossed my arms. Tim shot me a look and shook his head with a half smile of sorts pasted on his face.
Tim: First off… Netflix loves what we’ve done. They’re basically waiting on reviews for the ordering of a second season. But if this thing does as well out in the open as it did with the test viewers than we have a hit! Give yourselves a little applause.
The crowd of people all tentatively clap and Tim laughs before waving them quiet.
Tim: From that reaction, I can tell that some of you have a good idea what I’m about to say. The studio has ordered reshoots. A number of them. We’re going to get you some new script material today and we’re going to need to hit this hard. We all know one of us can’t be here on Tuesday and Wednesday… so first thing Thursday we will be filming several new scenes. The studio wants more romance. They want this show to be sexy!
I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh.
Tim: For example, Jordan, Ashley, and Sam… the studio wants a sex scene between the three of you in the middle of the season. They–
Jordan: Woah, woah, woah. Hold up. Tim, are you fucking kidding me right now? A threesome.
Tim: Don’t sound so excited.
Tim smiled and laughed, some of the other crew falling in line with him.
Jordan: This is bullshit.
Tim: Jordan, calm down.
Jordan: No, Tim. I’m going through a lot of shit right now. I’ve sat on my hands since November thinking this project was just going to hit the TV soon, and now I’m called back and asked to reshoot because Netflix wants more fucking sex in the show?
Tim: Jordan, when you signed on to this show you signed a contract. The option for this was in there. Now you will be paid and for the extra skin you’ll be showing you will be paid extra per the contract.
Jordan: WHAT!? I lose to this stuck up bitch at the End of the Year show and now you want reshoots for fucking sex scenes!?
Ashley: Jordan, hun, calm down…
Jordan: I’m sorry if I don’t want to flash my ass and climb into bed with a man.
Tim: Ashley’s right. You need to calm your ass down right now!
Jordan: Seriously? I’m just supposed to embrace the idea of a nude sex scene with open arms? What am I, some kind of porn star?
I heard a bit of a gasp from some of the crew and some whispers.
Tim: In my office!
Jordan: They can hear everything I have to say about this.
Tim: My office, now!
I stormed toward Tim and he turned away, leading the way to his office. As soon as I walked in, he slammed the door behind me and we started shouting.
Tim: Do you want to explain yourself? I’m about this close to telling Netflix I had to fire your pathetic ass and starting this over again. Do you realize how many people are counting on this for their futures?
Jordan: Why should I have to compromise myself by showing my body like this?
Tim: Oh, grow up. This is the entertainment industry. This is art. You’re acting like you’re a stripper!
Jordan: This show has a stripper in it. Ashley plays a stripper turned superhero. This show is borderline offensive at times.
Tim: This show has the opportunity to launch a real second career for you. Beyond wrestling. You’ve been surprisingly good. They’ve loved you. But they won’t put up with this. When Brownie McDreams sold the right to this to Netflix they didn’t want you in it. Well now they can’t imagine it without you. That a fucking good thing, Jordan. You’re gonna fuck this up over showing your ass? Maybe a little tasteful shot of your side?
Jordan: Great, more nudity.
I rolled my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.
Tim: It’s your ass! And if you don’t do this, you can walk out there and look everyone in the face and tell them they’ve just lost their god damn jobs. Really, as far as I’ve known you’ve been nothing but professional. And now this?
Jordan: I didn’t ask for this! It’s outrageous, Tim.
Tim: You signed a contract! You have to honor it. This is the business. If you didn’t know about the nudity, get a new agent. But I’m telling you, this is not just us filming all your parts. It will be tastefully done. Little to nothing showing.
I sighed and crossed my arms. I looked down and shook my head.
Jordan: I’m going to kill Karen… And I don’t like the threesome.
Tim: What’s wrong with Ashley and Sam?
Jordan: Nothing. It’s the idea of it. I’ve never been naked with a man. Except this one time…
Tim: I don’t need to hear about that. I really don’t. What’s going on with you.
Jordan: I just lost the biggest fight of my career, I broke up with my girlfriend last month, I stopped secretly seeing my ex-fiance all together, and in two days I have the next biggest match of my career, so… kind of a weird time for me.
Tim: Jesus christ. You’ve got to get your shit together though. There’s no reason any of that stuff should interfere here. You’re a professional.
Jordan: I’m trying, Tim. I really am.
Tim: So, let’s go out there and apologize to everyone. Let them know you were stressed out. Ok?
I nodded and followed Tim out of his office and back to the cast and crew, where I apologized. I got a lot of blank stares and very little reaction. I walked back and stood next to Ashley and Izzy and Ashley gave me a little side hug as I sighed.
Tim: Oh, Ms. Majors’ outburst cut me off. Looking ahead to a season two, the studio wanted us to introduce a few of the characters for the next season into this one as little teases. So we’re working hard to get one of those characters in particular here very soon for his scenes. He will be heavily featured in the finale of the show.
I looked at Ashley and she just shrugged. My goodwill with Tim was on thin ice so I just summoned Vihaan with a text and headed for the exit. Izzy came jogging up beside me as I attempted to leave and stopped me.
Izzy: Hey, are you ok? I know I was laughing because you know how much I love seeing you in misery, but that seemed a little over the top.
Jordan: I’m fine. Why would you care?
Izzy: I don’t. But I know you and I don’t want to see you going off the edge again.
Jordan: Don’t worry about me, Iz. I don’t need you worrying about me.
I walked away from Izzy and rode home thanks to Vihaan. It was a quiet ride. The man seemed completely worn out from driving the car across the country. That, or he was mad at me for the way I reacted to his win. He made me feel like everything was about me, but it wasn’t. I’m not that type of person. I care so much about other people. I was proud of V for his win. And proud of Cookie for her yearly awards. I had cheered for Regan and Selena to get a win. I wasn’t as selfish as some wanted to believe I was. When I walked in at home, Cookie was sitting on the couch watching something on her phone. She didn’t seem to even notice me.
Cookie: You have TMZ now? Is that a new thing?
Jordan: I what… what the what? What!?
Cookie: TMZ. Right here…
I rushed over to Cookie and grabbed her phone and held it up. The headline said “SCW Wrestler explodes in on-set Tirade.” I pushed play on the video and heard the audio playing through from a hidden cell phone camera. I appeared more animated than I remembered.
Video audio: WHAT!? I lose to this stuck up bitch at the End of the Year show and now you want reshoots for fucking sex scenes!?
Jordan: Oh shit…
Cookie: I thought you said this show wasn’t porn?
I scanned the article with the video and gasped.
Jordan: Oh my god!? This says that I slapped a makeup artist! How did they know I slapped Izzy?
Cookie: You slapped Izzy? Hell yeah!
Jordan: Cookie… this is not a good thing. People are going to think I’m fucking terrible.
Cookie: They won’t. Maybe.
Jordan: Yeah, maybe. I just admitted to cheating on a single mother with the niece of my… whatever she is… rival? Then I called Bree a bitch on this tape here. This is not going to be received well. It makes me look like some petulant brat.
Cookie: You’re not joining Katie’s gang. No way!
I buried my head in my hands and collapsed on the couch beside her.
Jordan: Why can’t I stop fucking up?
Cookie: Maybe it’s because you’re trying to be perfect, I don’t know.
I pulled my hands down and turned to look up at her.
Jordan: What?
Cookie: You keep trying to be perfect at everything. It’s ok to just kinda be yourself, you know?
Cookie pulled my head into her lap and looked down at me as she played with my hair.
Cookie: If you didn’t have me around, you’d probably be trying to perfect jumping off bridges or something.
Jordan: Wow, I’m not…
Cookie: I mean with a bungee cord.
Jordan: Oh, ok.
Cookie: See, you’re not even a perfect mind reader. But you don’t need to be. I’m here to balance you out. You’re pretty damn awesome on your own, babe. But when me and you do something together, we’re like… amazing.
Jordan: I don’t know how my acting career is going to recover from this.
Cookie: Have you thought about scientology?
Jordan: Oh god, no!
Cookie: I’m kidding… kind of. As long as Regan doesn’t kill you because of her step son, Jaina doesn’t murder you because you confessed your relationship with her to the world, and Bree doesn’t decapitate you for calling her a bitch in a video that will probably be seen by all of her husband’s friends… you’ll be fine.
Jordan: Ugh!
I grabbed a pillow and put it over my head as I laid in her lap. I’d gone from grateful for the opportunity to contend for the World Championship to a world of shit in a matter of days. It seemed the only for sure thing in front of me was the chance to control Cookie and I’s destiny in this tag league. I had to make sure we beat Frozen Hell. I had to make sure I could bounce back. I needed to prove that all the outside shit wouldn’t weigh me down. I just knew when I stepped into the ring with Cookie it would all be ok. My phone rang and I grabbed it and brought it to my face.
Jordan: What!?
Karen: Holy shit, Jordan. I’m on damage control over here! I–
I hung up and tossed my phone on the floor.
Jordan: Cookie, get the tablet. We need to beat Frozen Hell.
Promo
A camera switches on to show Jordan Majors sitting outside. Hills plush with green roll behind her as the sun illuminates them from up high. Jordan sits partially shaded under a covered porch. She sits in a chair with her legs pulled up. She begins with a sigh before she speaks.
Hey… so, I’m going to level with you all. Losing at End of the Year sucked. Hard. I hadn’t felt that down since I lost the Adrenaline Title. But I raised my spirits later that night. This? There hasn’t been anything to relieve me of this. I remain truly thankful of what was given to me though. I had a chance to sit atop the wrestling world thanks to the fans. I meant what I said on Twitter. I have no regrets. I gave it everything I had. She tried to make me give up my knee, too, but I survived to fight another day. Just… without the title I sought to take with me. As much as it sucked, I know I was playing with house money out there. I went all-in and I busted. That’s ok though, because I know in my heart that I will be back there someday.
Jordan looks out into the distance and then back at the camera.
But I have to turn the page and I have to think about what’s still in front of me. The title opportunity last week was handed to me. I have the chance to finish earning a chance at tag team gold if I keep taking care of business with Cookie. And we’ve reached the match both of us have been talking about for a long, long time. When the schedule was laid out, Cookie and I saw the last match on the schedule and we just looked at each other. I think we read each other’s minds. Maybe that was the early sign that the two of us were going to be an amazing team. But we both knew when we reached this match we were going to be raising hell and playing spoiler, or we were going to be closing out an incredible run in our side of the tag league. And here we are. I can’t wait.
She stretches her legs forward and then crosses one leg over the other.
Frozen Hell is the epitome of tag team wrestling. Regan and Selena have more titles they’ve forgotten about than ones Cookie and I have been close to touching. There’s no doubt in my mind that they were the tag team of 2020. Their year was incredible. Despite some ups and downs, they became the team to beat and they defined what it meant to be the tag team champions last year. Every team has a bad day, and it’s true they’re no longer the tag champions. In some ways that cut into part of the dream for Cookie and I. We circled this date and smiled because it was the date we were going to become the SCW Tag Champions. That’s not the case any longer. But over time, this match became something different. When it comes to the women in this business, can you get any better than these two? For that reason, this match still means the world to Cookie and I. Because to be the best, you HAVE to beat the best. One loss or not, Frozen Hell is still the best.
Jordan brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles.
I’ve come to know Regan over the last year and I’m sure that privilege has been all mine. She’s given advice here and there and while our situation now isn’t what it was then, I’m still very appreciative of everything she’s done for me. She’s a person who accepted me when she didn’t have to. She trusted me when she had no reason to. I admire what she’s accomplished in her career and the fact that she’s still doing it at a high level. Someone like her has every reason to hang it up, but she remains motivated. She’s a champion in this industry in every way possible. She also has a mean streak like no one’s business. I like to think that in the ring, I fight with that same kind of intensity. Win or lose, I think every opponent knows they’re going to leave a match with me taking on a little damage. I don’t know if Regan hates me now or if she doesn’t know what to think about me anymore, but I know I still respect her. I know this will likely be the most challenging tag team match I’ve ever taken part of.
Jordan nods to herself and then shrugs.
That doesn’t mean we’ll bow down. Regan might be one of the queens of the ring in this company, but this is our time. We would be wasting this incredible run to lose here because we’re starstruck or unprepared. We have Chris Cannon and Lucas Knight everything they could handle when we beat them. We didn’t shock Dark Fantasy when we beat them. We controlled the match and straight up beat them. This is our league and this is our year. We have injected new life into this division with our run in the league. We’re not settling for anything less than winning this match. Sure, we could drop this one and see you or Dark Fantasy again in the semi-finals. But fuck that. We earned our way to the undefeated record we have right now. We will earn our spot in the finals this week and we will earn our spot at Retribution where we will win those tag titles and complete this immaculate, unexpected run. After that, Regan, we’d be happy to entertain a rematch with you and Selena. THAT will be an absolutely huge match.
Jordan laughs to herself and looks at the camera.
Speaking of Selena… we haven’t had a lot of chances to share a ring in our time in this company. Speaking of admiration, this is the woman who I looked up to specifically because of her openness about herself. I’ve been following her since before she joined SCW. But now sharing the ring with out in this arena, with so much on the line for both teams, I’m fucking ecstatic about it. You have carefully cultivated a reputation in this business where you were commonly referring to yourself as the face of this company. I know it has been awhile since you’ve said that, but these days you probably feel more like another face in the crowd. Honestly, both of you feel a little bit like that. You two used to seem unbeatable, but not anymore. Especially since you seem to think people are underselling you. No, we’re the ones who were undersold from the get go. You don’t get to be the tag team of the year and then call yourselves the underdogs. Please don’t try to play that card. You’re facing a team that has won six matches together. Six!
Jordan nods confidently and smirks.
And you’ll be our win number seven. The culmination of our journey through this block to stamp our ticket into the finals. All that years of experience you carry, it’s not enough to stomp out the momentum we have behind our backs. All the false narratives you can create to motivate you? We’re going to squash those out when we win. You might think I’m cocky coming across like this and, hell, maybe I am? But even coming off the biggest loss in my career, I feel as confident as ever with Cookie Dreams by my side. In so many ways, Frozen Hell is a dream team. But the Psychonauts are the team of dreams. We’re accomplishing everything we’ve set out to. All while the world had looked the other way. They can’t do that anymore. Cookie and I are proving our worth in this company. We’re proving that we more than belong alongside the biggest and brightest stars of this company. You’re the team that’s supposed to be our stumbling block, a hurdle to screw up this whole journey. It’s true that you’re the biggest challenge to date for this team. But that’s the thing. That’s just it. We’ve been breaking down barriers throughout this entire league. You won’t be any different.
Jordan leans back in the chair and looks off in the distance wearing that permanent smile.
I’m not sorry for this confidence. As far as I’m concerned, we’ve earned the right to be confident about our chances in this league. This division even! We’ve proven that we belong. We’ve shown that we have the tools and chemistry needed to be game changers in SCW. But we’re not even close to where we want to be yet. We still have a lot of feathers to add in our hats. As much as we love and respect both of you, this is our turn. This is our run. 2020 was your year. This one will be ours. If the world doesn’t know our names yet, they sure as hell will soon. We are the Psychonauts and we are winning this tag league. That’s the way the cookie crumbles my friends. You don’t have to like it, but that’s the way it’s going down. You can take that to the bank, ladies. Because Jordan Majors IS money.
Jordan leans forward with a big smile. She blows a kiss to the camera and then winks. She reaches forward and ends the video.
Everything You Wish You Could Be 