Be Careful What You Wish For 2021

April 23, 2021 – Los Angeles County

One day after getting myself back in the win column, on my own, I sat in my quiet house and stared into nothingness. Without Cookie here, it was always quiet. Even the low hum of the TV barely created enough background noise to keep me from falling deep into thoughts that hadn’t entered my head in more than a year. Thoughts that betrayed my own good will and seemed to steer me down dark paths I thought I’d left behind for good. There were times when I would sit and mindlessly flip through shows on various streaming apps until my phone alerted me to my next obligation. Because that’s all my life had become now. Obligations. I was obligated to training some stupid girl at David Helms’ gym. I was stuck with helping Dave’s crusade against evil by some pure association to his family. I was also supposed to keep my shit together on my own.

But none of it seemed to make any sense. None at all. Helping Dave overcome the evil done to Peyton… why did I even care? At nearly every turn of my career, Peyton was there to cut me off. Two TV title opportunities and she kicked my ass. I won my lone championship in SCW only for the girl to call her shot and take it for her own. And for what? In my moment of weakness I had given this girl so much. She needed saving and I loaned her money I knew I would never see again. But because she lost the chance to earn the No. 1 pick before Trios, she needed to take something back from me. So why the fuck did I care if someone was taking something from her? I didn’t have the answer.

I had started to spend much of my time thinking about how to be alone. I didn’t have an answer for that, either. Everything was a weird little temptation. My mind would float around the room with nothing but the worst of intentions. Should I call Jaina and just see what she says? Should I tell Dave to fuck himself and leave me alone? I wonder what Kath is up to? Abi? All this while I have a perfectly amazing girlfriend who is honest and calls me on my shit. But Sierra and I have a different relationship. There are far more boundaries than I’m used to. Because of this, I am alone far more than I’d like. I hate myself for knowing that I need people that much. When I was younger I needed nobody. But once I learned what true affection was, it shot through me and hung on with a grip I couldn’t seem to break. I needed it. I craved it.

And with cravings like those, I found myself thinking about the ways to calm them down. That’s why the exes flooded my mind. That’s why the pills I was hiding kept entering my head and tempting me to retrieve them. Just a little bit of relief. Fuck. There were times I wondered if mixing these pills with booze was the only thing that could bring some reality to my life. Something to make me feel something. To wake me out of this daze. The woman they saw on TV was just a girl wearing a mask. But the facade was cracking and I knew it. How long could I really hang on to this. I shook my head and reached for my phone, scrolling to my favorites and dialing the one at the top. The phone rang and rang, but no one answered. Then, the voicemail set in.

Cookie voicemail: Hey, you’ve reached Cookie! But I’m not available right now! I’m probably helping Daddy avoid falling in manholes and ending up in the great beyond on Pluto so please leave a message!

There’s a tone and I sigh before looking at the ceiling shaking my head.

Jordan: Hey, if you’re there can you call me? I just need someone to talk to. I’m kind of just… I’m really in my head right now about things. I know you’re not at all surprised to hear that. But I keep wondering why I’m in this position right now. I thought I had things figured out, but… maybe I don’t. I don’t mean to be selfish, but I think you’re the only one who seems to be able to help me kick out of this kinda stuff. I mean, you helped me kick out of it so long ago, right? When I was at my worst? I need you now more than ever… I don’t know how to do this on my own. I’m just not stro–

A beep cut me off mid sentence and I looked down to see the call come to an end. Like I’d exceeded some sort of time limit. I let out a deep sigh and tossed the phone down to the couch and then I looked toward my room. There, on the handle, hung a jacket with that escape hidden in the pocket. I knew it was wrong. Every single part of me did. But I needed it. Badly. Every part of my body was waving red flags, but my mind had turned off the switch that gives a damn. I dug into the pocket of the jacket and retrieved the pills.

I opened the cap and looked inside the half full bottle. I shook the bottle to drop a pill into the palm of my hand, but a loud noise jostled me and caused me to drop the container and spill its contents on the floor. I dove to the hardwood floors and scrambled for the pills as the doorbell rang for a second time. I wasn’t expecting anyone, so who the hell would be here? I scooped the pills back into the bottle a few at a time, the process taking longer than it should. The doorbell sounded again.

Jordan: Hold on!?

Whoever this was had already pissed me off. I got the pills all back in the bottle and secured the lid. I stashed it back in the pocket it called home and brushed myself off like I’d just completed some hard labor task. With a deep breath, I walked to the door and opened it to see a familiar face.

Jordan: Vihaan… why the fuck are you here?

Vihaan: Hey, fuck you too! You have trip on your schedule today, Miss Jordan. So, let’s go!

Vihaan started to leave, but then turned and looked at me. He made a face like he was looking at something completely disgusting and then peered up to me eye to eye. He looked up and down a few times.

Vihaan: You wear this!? This!?

Jordan: What?

I looked down at myself to see a raggedy old tank top that I had woken up in and some loose fitting shorts. I wasn’t wearing any shoes. I looked back at him and then narrowed my eyes.

Vihaan: You look like total shit. No one rides in my Escalade wearing that. No one defiles my baby.

Jordan: V, I’m not in the mood for this.

Vihaan: Ok, listen Katie!

Jordan: Katie!?

Vihaan: That’s right! I know your REAL name! I heard Eileen say it!

Jordan: Do you mean Cookie?

Vihaan: Yes! Eileen Dreams!

I looked at him for a moment and then sighed. So much of this was wrong. I shook my head and looked down at the ground.

Jordan: Couple things, V. My name is Kylie, not Katie. And it’s Ethel, not Eileen. Ok?

Vihaan put a hand up like he was ready to retort. Like a lawyer in the courtroom ready to strike at his witness on the stand. But then a look of defeat washed over his face. His hand fell to his side.

Jordan: Also, I don’t have anywhere to go today. That’s why I’m just sitting here still in my pajamas at…

I reached for my phone but forgot I didn’t have pockets and then looked back at the couch as I remembered where I had tossed it.

Vihaan: It’s 2 p.m.

My eyes went wide. Had I really been sitting around my house doing nothing for that long? Time had passed by faster than I’d realized as thoughts had dominated my mindset. I was surprised by the development.

Vihaan: And if you don’t need me, excuse me, but I will be going to make money now. Somewhere, an Uber is needed and Vihaan must beat Vijaan’s ass to the punch! Good day!

I watched as the glorified cabbie saluted me and turned to leave. But for some reason, my mind went to a place I never expected it to. I looked at Vihaan a little differently. I was seeing him as more than just an employee. More than just a man who drove me places. I saw him as something I needed right now more than anything else in the world.

Jordan: Hey, uhh, actually…

Vihaan turned and looked at me curiously. He had his phone in hand, already about to turn on his shift of Uber service and take any nearby rides that were being ordered.

Jordan: Do you want to come in?

Vihaan: For what? You think you can make me clean your house, too!?

Jordan: What? No… V, no. Do you want to hang out with me?

Vihaan turned to his side as he looked at me. Now his eyes were narrowed. But not in anger. He was studying me. One side of his brow raised as he looked at me in search of some detail that gave something away.

Vihaan: Is this trap, Miss Jordan? Or should I call you… Katie…

Jordan: Dude, it’s Kylie. And cut the Miss stuff, too. Come on.

Vihaan: If this is trick, I will get revenge. I will end you. You are costing me lots of money right now.

Jordan: What if I paid you to come in and hang out?

Vihaan: Miss Jordan… I am not hooker!

Jordan: $2,000.

Vihaan: Ok, I come in.

Vihaan swiftly moved past me and headed into the house. Before I could close the door, he was sitting on the couch and had his legs up on the coffee table. His arms spread out along the back of the sofa.

Vihaan: I’ve never done this before, Miss Jordan.

Jordan: This?

Vihaan: You know… and I thought you liked the ladies. Cookie is more my type. But she has sugar daddy and won’t answer my calls.

Jordan: I just need a friend.

Vihaan: Right… a friend…

Vihaan had his arms raised and put the word friend in finger quotes. I rolled my eyes at him as he grinned like he was about to get some great prize. Of course, he stupidly thought he was about to get laid. Probably my fault for offering cash.

Jordan: Also, that really is Cookie’s dad. She calls him daddy. His name is Hornelius.

Vihaan: Fuck this Hornelius. Is he strong as me? Is he SCW World End of Year Battle Royal Invitational Champion? Does he have belt?

Jordan: No, wait… you have a belt?

Vihaan: I had a belt made. It’s in my room at mama’s.

Jordan: I really do suck…

I looked down and sighed. Vihaan didn’t say anything immediately and silence once again swept through the room. I looked at him and he seemed nervous. I shot him a questioning look and he laughed nervously.

Vihaan: I don’t feel right getting paid for you to suck.

Jordan: Oh, jesus… Vihaan. I’m not going to sleep with you. I’m not even going to touch you. I just needed someone to talk to because I was lonely.

Vihaan, who had his hands in his lap near the button of his pants, slowly slid them down his legs to his knees. He looked at me now a little differently. I could see he was confused by my honesty. He was probably confused by a lot of things to be honest.

Vihaan: I don’t understand. You need to buy friends? What about Cookie?

Jordan: She didn’t answer my call.

Vihaan: The Swann girl?

Jordan: Sierra? She’s busy. She’s not my servant or anything. No, you’re here and I trust you with this because you’re honestly too honest for your own good and maybe that’s what I need right now.

Vihaan: I still don’t understand.

I folded my hands into my lap on the couch and looked down. I wasn’t sure how comfortable I was talking to my Uber driver about my problems. But I had before. Way before things seemed to get so complicated in my life. I looked up and into his eyes. It was so strange to see him from this angle, yet so familiar. How many times I had seen them from his rear view mirror. They weren’t full of judgement at all. Just observation.

I realized then that Vihaan was so much more than I had given him credit for. It was there, outside of Abi’s apartment, that I first saw those eyes. Vihaan had seen me at my highest and my lowest and everything in between. And he never judged me. He always knew exactly which position to take. He listened. I don’t know what went on in his head, but some women would be lucky to have a man that would listen like him. He wasn’t even my man. He was my driver. Maybe a friend? I just wasn’t entirely sure.

Jordan: V, I don’t know who I am.

Vihaan: Nonsense. You’re Jordan Majors! Or Katie or whatever.

Jordan: Ok, let me finish… I don’t know who I’m meant to be. Like… I’m fighting these wars for other people, but I’m also fighting this war on the inside. I thought this was who I was meant to be. Cookie showed me this path and I went for it. This seemed like it was my path. But now I sit here and I wonder if I made the right choices. Maybe all that time ago I should have just blindly followed Bree and Sienna down the path they were going down?

Vihaan: That sounds terrible.

Jordan: What do you mean?

Vihaan: This Bree and Sienna, they are assholes.

Jordan: Woah! Do you even know these girls?

Vihaan: Fine! They’re bitches. Mean, stupid bitches.

Jordan: Vihaan!?

Vihaan: You say you like honesty. This is honesty. You made right choice. Good day! Now… where’s the money.

I rolled my eyes at him and plopped back into the couch.

Jordan: It’s not even remotely that simple, V.

Vihaan: What else is there to say?

Jordan: What about Peyton?

Vihaan: She bitch, too!

Jordan: Do you even know her?

Vihaan: I don’t know any of them. But they aren’t Cookie. Cookie is perfect angel. The rest are demon bitches as far as I know.

Jordan: Can I just explain a little about the situation or are you going to try to get out of here as fast as you can? Because I’m not paying you for 5 minutes of time.

Vihaan looked pissed off at the notion. Disgruntled, he crossed his arms and leaned back against the couch. He shrugged and nodded toward me. I looked away for a moment. The TV was playing something in the background and it looked like Vihaan was paying more attention to that. Without realizing it, I had at some point turned on Grimm’s Tales. We were watching my show.

I saw myself on screen. How could I look so powerful and put together on that screen when I felt so weak and broken from the outside. Sure, I was a fighter. But I felt everything crumbling around me. I was standing on the last piece of a broken rock. It was teetering back and forth about to collapse and toss me into the depths below. An abyss with no clear way back out. The scariest part? I was almost ok with it. Whatever happens, happens.

I bit my lip thinking about it as I looked back at Vihaan. He was staring at me curiously, not watching the show at all.

Jordan: Sorry, thought you were ignoring me and watching TV.

Vihaan: I’ve seen this many times. Final episode is best.

Jordan: Ah because…

Vihaan said nothing, but he smiled. Infamously, it was the episode that showed most of my naked body. It had gained plenty of attention and made me weirdly popular on Reddit. I’d been told by a few people to just avoid the site all together if I wanted to stay feeling safe. Whatever that meant. Maybe they meant people like Vihaan who were obsessed with the scene.

Jordan: Anyways, Peyton. I respect her, but I don’t exactly like her.

Vihaan: How you know her? This Peyton.

Jordan: We’ve fought a handful of times. She always wins 1 on 1. I technically beat her one time. Ace Marshall did the honors.

Vihaan: Oh, Ace!? I love Ace! I’ve seen all of his movies.

Jordan: I have no idea what you’re talking about…

Vihaan: You wouldn’t. Not your style.

Jordan: I am equal parts confused and probably disgusted. But anyways… we have this weird history together and I guess because of that some of our mutual friends think that we are friends. So they think I should help them because someone did something terrible to Peyton. Broke into her home and roughed her up really, really bad.

Vihaan: Oh you mean the Minerva and the big ass girl.

Jordan: Kandis… how do you know them?

Vihaan: I saw them on Reddit. Very sexy girls.

Jordan: I shouldn’t have asked… but again. This thing with Peyton. I really don’t know how to feel. Like…

I paused and thought about the situation at hand. I was always coming to the same spot. Why was I even doing this? Why did I even care? But the answer wasn’t there for me. It was just more of the same over and over. Questions, but no answers in sight. It was troubling to feel so stuck. It brought me back to where I was when I was made to choose between Jake and Sienna. Choosing an allegiance was easy. In many ways, I chose neither. I chose me.

But in this case, what would that even mean? Was I in a position to walk away and let Dave fight this battle on his own? Maybe I would have if they hadn’t seemingly chose to target me as well. Because truth be told, I didn’t care. Maybe that made me a terrible person and a complete bitch. But I didn’t see Peyton suffering from any permanent damage or struggling to recover. She was already showing her beauty on Twitter again. She wasn’t shy about making her opinion known.

And that was another thing. I’d shared my opinion about the events regarding Owen Cruze and she’d snapped at me for having an opinion different than hers. So why didn’t the bitch just come and fight her own battles then? Why was this being placed on me? I couldn’t help but wonder, out of all the people on the roster, why Dave Helms had centered on me as a piece of his crew to take down Minerva and the rest of Team BDSM.

Vihaan: You want to know what I think? Here’s what I think. This Peyton… she sounds like my cousin Vijaan. Vijaan is a dick! Everything I do, Vijaan has to be better than me. I buy car, he buys bigger car. I hook up with hot woman, he finds skinny woman that looks better. I become Uber driver, he works for Uber AND Lyft. He breaks rules! I tell him I want to be video game developer, he gets job for actual company. I want to become pilot, he tells family he is astronaut now. He always wants to one up me. He is selfish, dickhead.

Jordan: What are you getting at?

Vihaan: I get at this. One day, opportunity comes my way. I say, YES! Vijaan cannot do this. So I win the SCW World End of Year Battle Royal Invitational Championship. And what does Vijaan say? He says nothing because he can say nothing. I have finally beaten him. I have better car than he can afford. More money. And more PAWGs than he could ever get.

Jordan: PAWGs?

Vihaan: So what I’m saying is, this Peyton cannot fight for herself right now. So you fight for her. Maybe you don’t like it, but if you win then you always have this on her.

I sighed and shook my head. It didn’t feel that way. I had given her money, and that got me nothing. How was fighting a battle and defending her honor going to help me?

Jordan: I don’t know, V.

Vihaan: You trust me. Winning this for her, is winning this for you. She will always owe you for this.

Jordan: She already owes me money.

Vihaan: Oh… Did you tell her it was loan?

Jordan: Wait, did I?

Vihaan: It’s not loan. You pay her for friendship like you pay me.

Jordan: Except, she actually was a hooker I think…

Vihaan: I’m sorry, Miss Jordan. You say Peyton is for sale?

Jordan: No. I did not just say that.

Vihaan stood from the couch and dusted off his hands like he’d just done his own manual labor. He stretched and then walked over to the refrigerator and opened it up. I sat looking at the ground feeling like I’d just blown $2,000 on a meaningless conversation. But in some ways, it did give me direction. Was I doing this because I thought it would earn me something I could hold over Peyton’s head? Was I really that shallow?

I didn’t think I was. I didn’t want it to be something like that. I wanted a real reason to keep fighting that fight. Something that didn’t make me want to stand to the side and just watch this happen. Some other reason besides Minerva and Kandis fucking with me to stay involved. Because for the moment, all I had was wanting them to shut the hell up and stay out of my business.

I looked over to see Vihaan picking something up off the floor. He looked concerned as he stared at me.

Vihaan: I have seen this before.

Jordan: Oh… that… it’s, uhh…

Vihaan: Are you taking meth, Miss Jordan?

Jordan: V, that’s not meth. It’s just medicine for…

Vihaan: Don’t lie to me. I call Cookie and tell her you do meth!

Jordan: It’s NOT meth! It’s medicine for my brain. Please, just give it here.

Vihaan: You lying to me, Miss Jordan? Are you abusing drugs?

Technically, I hadn’t taken a single pill since I’d found the bottle so I couldn’t have as it was. I put out my hand and opened my palm as I looked at him.

Jordan: V… I promise you I’m not doing meth. Or any other illegal drugs.

Other than weed. Depending on what state we were in. But that wasn’t important here.

Vihaan closed his hand around the pill and stood still as he looked at the hand. And then, he took a few steps toward me and placed the pill in my hand.

Vihaan: Don’t make me regret giving you your drugs back. You might be bitch. But I like you, Miss Jordan.

I closed my hand around the pill and smiled.

Jordan: Thanks. I think. Hey, umm, I’m going to go lie down. Can you let yourself out when you’re ready to go?

Vihaan: Let me finish final episode of show and then I will go. Don’t forget to send me money.

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I retrieved my phone from the couch and walked toward my room. I shut the door when I got inside and sat down on my bed. I opened my phone and went into my favorites and dialed the top one again. The phone rang out again until the voicemail started.

Cookie voicemail: Hey, you’ve reached Cookie! But I’m not available right now! I’m probably helping Daddy avoid falling in manholes and ending up in the great beyond on Pluto so please leave a message!

I sighed and closed my eyes.

Jordan: Hey girl… guess you’re still busy. Just, call me when you can? If you can believe this, I just paid Vihaan to come in and listen to me bitch and moan about all of my issues. It didn’t get me anywhere Ethel. Because he’s not you. Try as he might, he can’t replace you. I think… no one really can. I hope that didn’t sound weird like I’m in love with you or something. God, why did I say that. Now it is weird. It’s just that I’ve never had a friend quite like you before and I hope you know how much you mean to me. How important you are to me. Ethel, I —

The phone beeped and the call died.

Jordan: love you…

I put the phone down into my lap and swallowed. I slowly laid back down on to the bed and stared at the ceiling. As I closed my eyes, my thoughts raced again. My judgement was clouded. Despite everything Vihaan had said, I still found myself asking what the right choice was. Not the choice that benefitted my friends. But the one that benefitted me. Maybe it was selfish, but in the end, I still mattered too. It wasn’t just about Peyton, it was about me too.

And if they people who called themselves my friends didn’t understand that, then are they really my friends? I’ve shown loyalty to them, but where’s the loyalty to me? I can’t just be who they expect me to be. I have to be who I want and need to be. But how do I do that? It’s the question I just can’t seem to answer. At least not on my own.

April 29, 2021 – Downtown Los Angeles

My mind didn’t get as much quiet for the next few days as I ramped up some training at Living Dangerously Dojo and had a day of talking about the Netflix show I was one of the stars of. That seemed to bring completely different questions to mind. I still didn’t know the long term future of that, but I had been cast in the sequel to an action movie that starred Kennedy Street so there was at least a hint that it might continue. Also, season two was already being written for Grimm’s Tales. As of now, wrestling was still priority number one.

So now I found myself back at the Dojo to work on my own craft, and to continue helping my one and only student Valen. She had already become my most and least favorite student of all time as I sought to learn some sort of phantom lesson that Dave seemed to think he could teach me. Most of the time I could feel myself going through the motions when teaching her. Valen could sense it, too. But she was counting on getting something out of this, or at least satisfying Dave so she could get out of dealing with me all together.

As I walked out of the locker room I saw Dave standing with Lucas Knight in the corner. Lucas held a kendo stick into the air and smiled before bringing it down and swinging it at a heavy bag. The sticks snapped at the force of his swing, getting a laugh out of him and Dave. A couple of bros just having a good time. Valen stood on the opposite side of the room with a few of the other regular trainees. I watched her from afar as I heard a pair of voices come up from behind me.

David: Let me check on something and I’ll be right back.

Lucas: No worries, mate. I see someone right here I’d like to chat with anyway.

I turned as Lucas walked up. He smiled at me. He was different from Dave. Not as charming, but much funnier. I was standing next to yet another SCW Hall of Famer. I seemed to spend a lot of time around those types.

Lucas: Jordan Majors…

Jordan: Lucas.

Lucas: No Cookie with you then?

Jordan: She doesn’t even live here anymore, so… nope!

Lucas: Ah, sorry to hear that. You here to get ready for the match? Got a bucket a weapons and a heavy bag if you want to practice poking the gimp.

Jordan: What?

I turned toward him and he laughed to himself and then shrugged. He gestured back to where he came from. There was indeed a bucket of weapons. As well as some just lying around.

Lucas: You know, practice laying it in. That heavy bag’s about as useful as that sod Konrad. Actually, the bag is probably more useful. It has redeeming qualities and he doesn’t.

Jordan: Ah, he’s kind of a doofus. But I try not to judge too much on what people do in the bedroom. Some people are into acting like puppies and shit. And they get paid.

Lucas: No one is paying this man to be in this position though. It’s pure obsession for him. He’s being controlled by that young girl Minerva. It’s both amazing and sad at the same time. I remember when I used to see all the things that man does… play soccer, fight fires, volunteer his time. Thought he was a good man. Now all he does is lick boots and take the whip. And that mask…

I snickered to myself, crossing my arms as I looked away from him and watched Valen as she interacted with her peers. She looked my way to see me doing the same. But were Lucas and I really peers? Was I anyone’s peer in this business? I was somewhere in the middle of all of it. People either seemed to be miles ahead of me or struggling to find their own footing. And I was in danger of falling back to the finding your footing stage.

Jordan: Didn’t you return to SCW wearing a mask?

Lucas: What are you getting at?

Jordan: The coffee lucha libre thing… don’t play dumb with me the whole world knows who was behind it by now.

Lucas: Are you trying to compare me and Konrad over masks? I wore a mask for fun, not because some woman wanted me claimed as her property. And believe me, the ladies liked me in a mask way more than they like him in that hideous get up.

Jordan: Well, you can’t be too surprised by the choices Konrad has gone with.

Lucas: What do you mean by that?

Jordan: He’s German.

Lucas: Right… dungeons…

Jordan: Listen, I’ve got to head over and talk with my student.

Lucas: Yeah, Dave told me about that one…

I turned to look at him, curious. He looked Valen’s way instead of at me. He seemed to be studying her in the same way I was before.

Jordan: Dave told you what?

Lucas: Ah, nothing. She’s just a bit different than the usual ones. Probably best she’s working with someone like you.

Jordan: Wait, someone like me?

Lucas: Easy, you’re searching for trouble where there is none. She just operates in a different style than most. So she could learn a lot from you.

Jordan: I still don’t see how —

Lucas: What? Yeah? Coming Dave!

Jordan: Huh!?

I watched as Lucas walked away, ending our conversation abruptly. Dave was completely in his office and couldn’t have possibly called out for Lucas. The Hall of Famer moved at a brisk pace as he sought to get away from me as quickly as possible. I put my hands on my hips and shook my head at his actions before returning my glance to Valen. She had entered one of the rings and was circling around it, doing some light stretches.

I started that way and watched as she jogged around it like she was facing an invisible opponent in the middle. It was something Dave had taught many, but with Valen you could tell a lot from her body language. For starters, she found the whole action stupid. But she knew there were always eyes on you in this gym. A big part of me wondered if this girl would have been a better fit at AnteUp. Shit, maybe I would be too. But if I walked in there now I would either be mobbed by Kandis’ friends or they would try to squeeze me for information on their opposition. And I was involved in a war I didn’t entirely support.

As I approached the ring, I leaned against the apron and the bottom rope. It took a few movements around the squared circle before Valen noticed me and stopped. Her stare asked the question of why I was on the outside and not in the ring with her. But she had come accustomed to expecting me to walk around talking with others before the coaching really began.

Valen: You gonna come in here or are you too busy giving Holly Adams more ammo to make you look like a fool?

Jordan: Ouch?

I held my hands against my heart like I’d just been shot by an invisible bullet or arrow. Then I rolled my eyes and laughed at her before climbing the apron and getting into the ring.

Valen: Seriously? What the hell were you doing? You’re like… Hollywood now. Are you trying to damage your reputation by picking a fight with someone like that. She will destroy you on social media.

Jordan: Eh, maybe we just misunderstand each other. She’s not that bad. Besides, look at it this way. I’m a walking example of everything you don’t want to do if you hope to have a successful career. Right?

Valen: If you say so. I thought you came off looking really bad. It would be one thing if your friend was there backing you up. She owns Twitter with her shit.

I knew she was talking about Cookie. That probably stung more than the original comment. Still, I’d already decided by this point to lay low more on social media. Most of the members of this company’s roster seemed to have personal issues with me. Some were my fault, of course, but most didn’t make any sense at all. It was another reason that it was so baffling that Dave wanted me on his side. Didn’t it just bring more enemies to his cause?

Valen: So, what are we doing today?

Jordan: Ever tried a shooting star press?

Valen: Fuck off!

Jordan: What? I’ve seen you do a few high flying things here and there? I’m not the greatest at the move, but we could pull the mats into the ring and give it a try. What do you think?

Valen: I think… what’s the point? Why would I even want to try it? What do I have to gain?

Jordan: It’s always good to have a few extra spots in your arsenal, you know? Besides, this is practice. Not like if you fuck it up you’re going to get booed or laughed out of the gym. This is THE place to try something like that. You’re going to need stuff like this if you hope to ever make it to the big leagues.

Valen: I’ve never seen you try anything new in here? You’re just always doing the same shitty stuff.

Jordan: Yeah, well, I have a contract to do this professionally and you have a gym membership. So, who’s winning at life here? Huh?

Valen: Bitch…

Jordan: That’s what I thought… let’s get the mats.

I hopped down to the outside of the ring and Valen slid under the rope to follow. We grabbed both ends of a mat and slid it into the ring. Just for a little extra cushion. Valen seemed like she was completely disinterested in even trying this, but I wanted to open her mind to move things. She had a pretty wide move set and more ability than I could ever dream of. If she put it together, I could see her ending up pretty good. I just couldn’t let her know that. I positioned the mats in just the right place and then sat down on the ground.

Jordan: Ok, let me see what you’ve got.

Valen looked at the turnbuckle and then down at me. There was an anxiousness about her I hadn’t seen. I looked up at her with a tilted head and a confused glance.

Jordan: Valen?

Valen: Why don’t you do it first? I’ll take the move from the ground first and then I’ll do it after you.

Jordan: Have you done the move before?

Valen: Of course. I mean… all the time.

Jordan: Ok… well… let’s swap then. I’ll do it first.

Valen reached down and helped me to my feet and then she sat down on the ground and laid back. She looked my way and watched as I climbed to the turnbuckle. I knew how to do a shooting star press. But I hated doing them. I looked down at my feet as I positioned them just right on the ropes. I bounced myself slightly to get a little momentum and then I flipped myself outward and landed on the mats, short of where Valen was laying.

I hit the ground with a thud and immediately gasped for air. I rolled on the ground holding my stomach as I reacted to the pain. The mats hadn’t done enough. Valen smiled as she sat up and looked down over me. Her eyebrows were high enough to fein the slightest bit of concern, but still clearly showed her amusement with the whole ordeal. She stood up and pulled me back to my feet. I had to smile as I looked at her.

Jordan: See… I told… you… that I… suck at… those…

Valen snickered and shook her head.

Valen: And you expect me to get up and do that shit?

I was still getting my air back, but I managed a smile and a shrug and then nodded to her. She seemed annoyed, but shook her head and walked away from me. I plopped down on the ground and looked around the gym for a moment. I still didn’t quite understand what I was supposed to be getting out of this whole ordeal. I was still rubbed the wrong way about Dave’s fatherly actions toward me. Everyone wanted to be that authority figure I could look up to. But I didn’t need other moms and dads. I needed real friends. Not people who were expecting things of me.

Even now, I was being expected to do my part against the evil that preyed on Peyton Rice. Somehow I’d been paired with two legends of the industry, absolute titans in their own right, to take on skinny Minnie, big ass Kandis, and the iced gimp. It sounded like the concept for a badly formed rap group or heavy metal band, but instead it was my life. And my role… it didn’t make sense. It was like they were putting together a puzzle and decided to just overlay my piece on top of it. Even though it clearly didn’t fit. I couldn’t compare to Lucas and Pat. I just couldn’t. And I didn’t know if I ever would.

I let out a frustrated sigh but tried to wipe it from my mind as I turned back to see Valen. What I saw was a flash immediately.

Valen: AHHH!?!?

The sounds of Valen’s screams filled my ears as I saw her under rotate just in front of me. She landed with the top of her head against the mats and then crumpled over in front of me into a heap. It was like she’d been shot right out of the air by an invisible assassin in the rafters of the Dojo and had died before my very eyes. I was frozen in the seconds after as my eyes looked over the still and lifeless body of the girl who I was responsible for training.

It was almost like I wasn’t there, but floating above our bodies and watching the scene from above as countless people flooded into the ring and looked at Valen. Dave’s voice snapped me back into reality as he got into the ring.

David: Don’t touch her! Lucas, call 911! Jordan… what the hell happened!?

Jordan: I…

My eyes were glued onto the girl who laid motionless in front of me. Somehow, I had gone from sitting to leaning down on my knees. I shook my head in disbelief. I just knew I had fucked up this girl’s entire life. Maybe I just fucking killed her. And I wasn’t even paying attention. I’d been off in la la land questioning my own shit while she was breathing her last breaths doing something she told me she didn’t even want to do.

Dave grabbed me and looked into my eyes.

David: Hey! Jordan!

Jordan: Dave… I don’t know what happened!?

David: What do you mean? I heard screams and saw her laying here! What did you do to her?

Jordan: She was trying a shooting star press, and I…

David: Oh, Christ on a bike…

Dave stood and put his hands on his head. Lucas got in the ring via the bottom rope and yelled for people to get out of the ring slowly and carefully. Before I knew it, it was just them and me, a few of the coaches, and poor Valen. Lucas was kneeled down close to her. I couldn’t stand, sick to my stomach as I moved in closer on my hands and knees and looked down over her.

Lucas was snapping in front of her face as he spoke and suddenly, thankfully, Valen opened her eyes. Her eyes were wide with fear as she looked at the group of people standing over her. All preaching instructions at the same time. It was how I left sometimes. Trapped against the ground while the world screamed at me to do this and that. To be this and that. But there I was being selfish again. This was clearly not about me. Her eyes looked up at me. I shook my head and bit my lip.

Her eyes were sending me mixed messages. She was telling me it was ok, that it wasn’t my fault. But there was also that hint of betrayal. I had pressured her into doing the move. The next few moments were a blur. But I remember the EMS team arriving and taking over the ring. They strapped Valen to a board and secured her neck, pulled her under the bottom rope with Dave and Lucas’ help and loaded her onto a stretcher and wheeled her away with one of the other coaches in tow. Lucas gestured for me to go into Dave’s office with a head nod and I headed there as Dave addressed the rest of the gym.

I sat there alone, just shaking. I was nervous for Valen. Me, I didn’t care about. It was scary in a way, to feel so selfless for once. I was always so consumed by what I needed above all others. By my own success and failures. Now I was so worried about myself that I’d let someone get hurt in the process. After what felt like 15 minutes alone, Dave and Lucas walked in together and both looked at me. Lucas stood by the door with his arms crossed. Dave sat at his desk and stared at me.

Jordan: Listen, I don’t know what to say.

David: A shooting star press… really?

Jordan: She said she could do it!

Lucas: Could you?

I swallowed and looked away from both of them.

Jordan: Poorly. I did it before her. Knocked the air out of myself.

David: Yeah, well… she nearly killed herself. Shit, she could be paralyzed right now.

Dave leaned forward and folded his hands together. Lucas leaned against the wall and sighed.

Lucas: Ease up on her, Dave.

David: Ease up!?

Lucas: Come on. You know it was an accident. Just a lot of emotions running high right now.

Jordan: I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. I was trying to… push her to another level.

David: You have to be able to know their limits, Jordan.

Lucas: Mate, she’s been doing this for what? A few weeks?

David: Are you suggesting this is some sort of lesson to be learned?

Lucas: I’m trying to trivialize it further, but you can tell she is broken up by it.

Dave stared at me. He was studying me. To see if he could read what Lucas already had. Dave already knew the answer though. His phone buzzed on his desk and he picked it up.

David: This is Dave. Uh, huh…

Dave looked away from me and leaned down into his desk. He put his hands on his head as he listened to the call. Suddenly, his shoulders slumped down. It wasn’t clear if he’d just heard the worst news of all or some sort of saving grace. Regardless, my heart had already fallen into my stomach.

David: Oh thank god. They think it’s just a stinger. No loss of feeling or anything. Thank god!

I felt the wave of relief wash over me, but I didn’t feel any better. I looked at Lucas and he smiled and gave me a knowing nod. Yeah, shit happened in this sport. But I was still responsible for nearly getting Valen seriously injured. Dave finished up his call as Lucas and I exchanged a glance and then he let out a big sigh. His eyes focused on me.

David: We caught a break here. We’ve got to be more careful though.

Jordan: Definitely.

David: I think…

Dave let out another sigh and he folded his hands together as he leaned his elbows on the desk.

David: A few weeks ago, I was almost convinced this wasn’t for you. But now I’m positive. I’m not saying you can’t train here, but I’m not sure we can have you teaching here. This, while it was an accident… this was too much Jordan. First you two got in an actual fight in my gym. Now one of you has gone to the hospital. I’m not sure it’s safe for you to continue with it.

Jordan: Wait, so you’re just cutting me off from it now?

David: Yes. I’m cutting you off before anyone gets seriously hurt.

Jordan: You can’t do this now. I need the chance to make this up to that girl.

David: Well, I thought that’s what we were doing already. After that fist fight. But now… I’m not saying forever. But you’re not ready to teach these young wrestlers. You have a lot to learn.

I shook my head at Dave. I understood, but I didn’t all at once. I turned and looked at Lucas. This time, he couldn’t look at me. He clearly had an opinion, but he didn’t want it to be known at this time. Not in front of Dave at least. Or maybe in front of me. I looked back at Dave and shook my head in frustration.

Jordan: So that’s it then? An accident and you’ve just decided I’m a danger to your perfect little gym?

David: Jordan. Come on. It’s a bit more delicate than that. A girl is at the hospital right now being checked for spinal damage.

Jordan: You think I don’t know that!? You think it doesn’t already kill me to know I even played a role in that!? Maybe her and I didn’t get along at the start. Maybe we didn’t always treat each other with the most respect. But I made sure she was ready for the future!

David: And today, her future was almost wiped out because you wanted her to do a cool move.

Jordan: Fuck you!

David: I’m sorry!?

I looked down at my hands. They were gripping the ends of the chair so hard I could see the white of my knuckles. It felt like if I could grip the chairs any tighter I could probably break the arms in the palms of my hands. I looked from Dave to Lucas and then back again.

Jordan: You know what… I don’t need this. See you both Sunday. Screw this place!

I stood up quickly and walked to the door. I expected Lucas to block me in, but he only stopped me for a moment. He gave me another nod, an almost reassuring one, and stepped aside. I looked over my shoulder to see Dave giving me a disappointed, disapproving glance. It was the same look he gave me when he’d confronted me about cheating on Kath before my big match with Bree.

Now I felt worse than ever. Dave didn’t trust me. Valen was hurt. Cookie was gone. No matter what I did, nothing was going the way I wanted it to go. Everything was a series of wrong turns and bad endings and all I wanted to do was hit the reset button and start fresh. I felt like a cat on it’s ninth life but nothing would kill me and just end the misery. Instead, things just continued to get worse. And I was running out of people I could count on.

I felt angry at myself… at the world. I needed an outlet. And then I thought about Sunday, and suddenly I felt dangerous. This company would regret putting a weapon in my hand. Team BDSM would regret bringing me into this stupid battle. I would prove Dave wrong about me. And I would show him that I don’t need him to be successful. He NEEDS me if he hopes to have any chance of winning this war.

Promo

A camera shoots into a mostly empty room. An old wooden chair sits in the middle of the room, facing toward the camera lens. Jordan Majors walks in from the side and turns the chair around and then sits down, leaning her arms across the top of the chair.

There are so many cliche stories about heroes and villains. Ones that tell the tale of people who turned away evil. Even some rare ones that tell of evil prevailing. All villains prevail at some point, don’t they? But in the end, they find themselves on the losing end of the battle. At Be Careful What You Wish For, if you were hoping for something other than the typical ending… you’ll be disappointed.

Jordan smirks and looks down in front of her before her eyes trail back to the camera.

Minerva, Kandis, and Konrad have had their fun. Now? We will have ours. I guess it’s our time to have fun now. To be the heroes. Even if I don’t much care for that label. In this case, do I have a choice? These are three individuals connected to the savage beating of a fellow roster member who was casually spending time in her place of living before she was ambushed. So I guess in a way, whatever happens to them in this match… they not only deserve it, but they had it coming.

Because these three, who were affectionately called Team BDSM by another roster member, they are just more of the cancer that’s trying to rot this place from the inside out. They want to destroy it. Maybe rebuild it in their own ideal image. But they’re just bit players, hell, cosplayers compared to those that came before them. Should we be afraid that Minerva and Kandis are lurking in the dark corners of parking lots waiting to beat us all with a pipe? Should we fear a loose Konrad dragging his leash behind him as he seeks to do his mistress’ evil bidding? I say there are much more important things to fear.

Jordan swallows and looks down. She shakes her head and sighs.

I’ve spent the last several months haunted by what I felt was my career circling the drain before my very eyes. And what could I do? Nothing seemed to be enough. I was focused on too many of the wrong things. But this? Maybe this is where I needed to be looking all along. I suppose it could be easy to be confused about why I’m fighting for someone I so clearly had issues with in the past, but maybe I’m not really fighting for her at all. Actually, I’m fighting for what I believe in. I’m not turning a blind eye to the casual bullshit that some try to orchestrate behind the scenes in shameless attempts to grasp power in various corners of this company. And in nightmares fueled by all the various ways my career could potentially die, it’s fighting back that has seemingly woken me up. This is not me gasping for my last breath, this is me standing back up at full strength and standing in the way of those who think they can destroy this place.

Jordan snickers to herself and sweeps a few strands of hair back before shrugging.

That’s kind of a lofty goal for this group though, isn’t it? For all they must hope to accomplish, they’re more just threats and sneak attacks than actual real achievement. The biggest thing they’ve achieved is managing to turn a decent man into a one-bit comedy act. You’re telling me Konrad Raab became a gimp because he likes licking some toes? What is this group really doing together? What do they REALLY think they’re going to do? Even if they think they’re just going to waltz in here and kick my ass, how are they going to get past a legend like Pat Evans? A Hall of Famer in Lucas Knight? And what’s waiting on the outside for you if you survive this? David Helms and Josh Hudson? Chris Cannon? I’m trying to think of the polite way to say this, but… you’re fucked.

She smiles and shakes her head.

This is a war you were never meant to win. In a company full of power players who think they are the meanest, baddest ones on the block, you chose to pick a fight with all of the ones who aren’t trying to take over the place. There’s just no scenario where this ends with you on top. It’s just more of the same for you two Kandis and Minerva. But please, be sure to unzip Konrad’s mouth so he doesn’t drown in his own tears. I don’t know what you hoped to prove, but when this war comes to a close all the casualties will be on your side. You must think you’ll soon look like kings and queens. Maybe even gods and goddesses. But, honestly, I think you’ll just look like skidmarks on the inside of old underwear. Hanging on to everything you can, with not much to speak of. Only barely leaving a mark.

And you might be saying, but Jordan… skid marks last forever. Well, that may be true. But everyone throws away the underwear eventually. Just like those underwear, you’ll be discarded too.

Jordan stands and turns the chair around and sits down facing the camera. She leans back and crosses a leg.

I guess I wonder why each of you are even involved in this. Like, Kandis, for example. Are you just following Minerva’s lead here? Did Tommy think this was a good idea so you’re just doing it? I suppose you could say, well why are you involved? But you brought me into this. Dave may have asked for help, but you assholes refused to leave me alone. It’s like you were begging for it. I’m sure when it comes to Kandis she has issue enough with me for what I had to say about Tommy. That’s right, I know she still remembers me going on blast and saying he didn’t belong in the title scene. Dave took a step back and we got Tommy and Bree and she beat that washed up old man’s ass and called herself champion once again.

There was a time last year where I thought you and Tommy were THE players in the tag division. But then I formed a tag team and we passed you up in like a week. What happened? Just more content with being followers of Minerva’s plan? I thought someone like you or your man would want to take the lead. But Dave is right about everything he ever said. Maybe one of these days you’ll actually take a step forward from where you are. Or maybe you’ll realize that if my career was circling the drain, yours was hanging on by its fingertips about to slide down to irrelevancy once and for all. And then Konrad, ugh…

Jordan rolls her eyes before she can go on.

What the hell happened to you, man? Did you lose your mind? Is this a mid-life crisis? I’m clearly not one to judge on relationships, but yours is truly bizarre. I’m not going to kink shame you, because we all have our little fantasies and desires. I’m just surprised to learn that at 60 years old you decided your biggest desire was to be someone else’s bitch. And if you think I’m out of line for saying that, then good. Explain to me how you’re anything more than just her little gimp? When you got the chance to team with her, she just happily watched you get your ass kicked. Didn’t even try to help. Maybe she convinced you she was just playing mind games. But I think she is using you as protection. Have you ever wondered if you’re more bodyguard than boyfriend?

I guess I just thought you had more respect for yourself than this. But last time I fought you it didn’t even seem like you knew who I was. Like you had me completely confused for someone else. It wasn’t all that long ago you were pretending to be a good, quality guy. But I guess some sex is crazy enough to turn a good man bad. Unfortunately, it’s just going to be more of the same for you and your career. Your tough act is nothing more than just some new, tough words. And that’s not enough to worry me.

She shrugs and looks down for a moment before looking into the camera.

Minerva… what can I even say about you? You must think you’re standing on top of the world right now. You have this group in the palm of your hands and they seem to do any and everything you tell them to. Few people have shown up and stolen as much attention as you have. We all know your talent. We all know your depraved mind. What we don’t know, is what you’re hoping to accomplish in the end. Do you not think someone like Peyton will come for her own two cents someday? It just seems to me like you’re pissing off more and more people, week by week. Yet, your army hasn’t grown at all. And this one I’m on? It grows every day.

So what will you do when it all falls apart? How long can you really keep that tight grip on Konrad’s leash? How long before he finally sees through the BS? What if Tommy and Kandis finally wake up and realize they should hold the keys? I said it before and I will say it again, this is going to end badly for you. It’s going to end in nothing more than ashes. Whatever kingdom you think you’re building, it’s built on lies and deception. And that foundation won’t hold up. Maybe you’ll try to hold it together, but I’d bet when we’re done with you there won’t be much to salvage. Just remember, babe, you wanted this fight. You asked for your own undoing.

Jordan stands and moves the chair to the side. She grins and then she looks back to the camera.

I’m sure all of you will be excited about the opportunity to really bring us pain and punishment in this match. A street fight. I can already see Kandis salivating at the chance to tell us how she came from the streets and she can’t wait to beat a little street knowledge into us with all the weapons she’s going to get her hands on. Konrad can’t wait to be unleashed for violence. Minerva, she’s just got a sick mind. But they’re running into a tornado of violence coming from the other end. The three of us have no problems getting our hands dirty to dispose of you three.

Whether we want the label or not, we are the heroes of this story and you three are the villains. Unfortunately for you, you already had your triumph. Your moment was when you managed to break into Peyton’s house and rough her up without somehow getting your asses handed to you in the process. That’s ok, though. Now it’s our turn. This Sunday, your reign of terror comes to an end. And I will personally make sure you regret ever getting me involved in this. You can take that to the bank, Team BDSM. Because me, Lucas and Pat… we’re money!

Jordan grins and winks before blowing a kiss to the camera and walking out of view. The shot fades to static and then goes black.