Breakdown 5/13/21

May 3, 2021 – Los Angeles

I should be happy, but I feel nothing. I thought it was the losing, but clearly it wasn’t. Maybe I was a fool to think like that. Now, I’m just worried. Why do I feel so disconnected from everything. A day ago I dispatched the assholes that hadn’t left me alone for the last month. They seemed happy about it, I guess? I couldn’t be sure. They were smiling when they left. I was just detached. We’d won, who cares? I try not to focus on that kind of stuff. David Helms had tried to drill it into me before that wins and losses didn’t matter. In this case we were doing the right thing. We were pushing back against evil, and we were successful in that mission. It just didn’t feel like what I expected.

I left the arena that night and retreated to my hotel room. I sat alone and stared at this fucking bottle of pills that I can’t stop thinking about. I’m obsessing over this more than I have some women in life. I thought I’d kicked this habit long ago when I left behind that entire life in Louisiana. But now I wasn’t too far from all of that in my mind. I was right back to thinking about my mother that I left in the streets there. Thinking about Amy and Wyatt and their gym. About that house I almost bought around the corner of Bree’s place. God, so many things were so close to happening there. And now I’m back to being on my own and just wondering, why? It was almost by the grace of whatever watches over us all that Sierra called me that night. I put the pills away and planned an evening with her the following day. It saved me, at least temporarily.

I spent little time the next day getting ready. As soon as I’d landed, I got Vihaan to drive me home and I got ready for a night out with Sierra. She arrived soon after to pick me up. She was looking like the million-dollar girl she always does. I looked like the midwestern schlub that threw on a dress and expected that to be looking presentable. Sierra even raised a brow when I walked in. Maybe she noticed how dressed down I was. I’m sure it set off some alarms, but she didn’t broach the subject with me. Instead, she drove me to my favorite restaurant in Los Angeles. A hole in the wall sort of Italian joint. After we’d set down, Sierra folded her hands together in front of her and stared at me. I didn’t wait long to break the silence.

Jordan: What?

Sierra: Nothing. It’s just… is something, like, wrong with you?

Jordan: I don’t know, is something wrong with my dress or my makeup?

Sierra: You’re wearing makeup?

Jordan: Yes, I… can you not tell?

Sierra narrowed her eyes for a moment and then sighed.

Sierra: It doesn’t really matter. I’m not talking about your clothes, I’m talking about you. What’s wrong with you? I can tell something is bothering you.

Jordan: Nothing is bothering me.

Sierra: I don’t believe you.

Jordan: Well, I don’t know what else to say!? Nothing is bothering me!

Sierra: Don’t get sassy about it!

I let out a sigh and leaned my arms against the table. She had me pegged here. She could sense something was off, just not what.

Sierra: Is it me?

Jordan: You?

Sierra: Yeah, are you not feeling this anymore or?

Jordan: Oh! God, no! Sierra, I’m sorry. This has nothing to do with you. If anything, you’re the only good thing.

Sierra: That’s a relief, I guess, but now I know something is wrong and I want to know what it is.

I leaned back into my chair and closed my eyes. That was a question with no real answer. Yes, something was wrong. But even I couldn’t figure it out. I let out a deep breath and just sat there as I collected the thoughts that swirled around in my head. I bit my lip and looked at Sierra across the table.

Jordan: The truth is… I don’t know what’s wrong.

Sierra: You… don’t know?

Jordan: Right. I don’t know.

Sierra: I’m a little confused. Something is clearly wrong.

Jordan: And I’m not sure what it is, but it’s weighing me down. I keep asking myself, like, what is my position here. What is the right path to take. I can see the paths in front of me and I’m not sure which one to take.

Sierra: Wow… so you’re doing it again…

I looked at Sierra with confusion plastered across my face. Again? I had no clue what she was referring to. I learned myself back against the table and raised a brow. She took the queue from my expression and kept on going.

Sierra: This is just like what you did with Sienna. It was like you gave yourself two paths and you could only do one or the other. It was just black and white for you in that situation. You made a singular choice and you went with it no matter the consequence.

That wasn’t quite how I remembered it. I saw shades of grey. Yeah, Sienna had just kicked Jake’s ass. But I didn’t do what I did for Jake. I did it for me. This was no different in that respect. Everything I was doing I was doing for me. I didn’t care what someone like David Helms would think in the end. But for Sierra’s sake, I just sighed and nodded.

Jordan: Maybe… but it’s different for me I suppose.

Sierra: Different how?

Jordan: I’m really struggling to believe in myself.

Sierra: But, babe, you’re amazing in the ring. Definitely one of the most talented people on the roster.

She had to say that, probably. I was far from one of the most talented. Even I knew that. My whole act was disguised by how hard I tried and how badly I wanted to win. The rest of it was some sort of combination of luck, muscle memory, and the little bit of skill I’d amassed along the way to the middle of this company. Because that’s where I was squarely entrenched now. The middle. And I felt that entirely.

Jordan: That’s nice of you to say, but I don’t really feel that way myself. I feel like… I’ve failed every time I have an opportunity to really do something that matters. Ever since Cookie left, I’ve really been struggling. I guess I just don’t know how to do this on my own.

Sierra: You’re not alone. You have me. You have other people who would be there for you in a moment’s notice.

I smiled and looked down.

Jordan: That isn’t really what I mean. You’re busy, you have your own things.

Sierra: I’m not too busy for you, though.

I wasn’t sure that was how it felt for me. So I smiled and looked down once more.

Jordan: I appreciate you and everything you do for me, boo. I love every moment we get together. But Cookie just… she brought me clarity in a lot of situations. When I was down, she could lift me in an instance. I never had a sister growing up. It was just me and my mom and whatever man she was with from week to week. But Cookie was just…

Sierra: I get it. I do. But don’t you think you ought to figure out how to be without Cookie now?

Jordan: I don’t want to figure that out. I didn’t want her to go away in the first place.

Sierra: She didn’t go away from you, babe. She’s taking care of her family. You probably just don’t understand because…

Sierra trailed off. I’d literally just made a comment about my dear old mom. She bit her lip and made it clear she wasn’t going to press on from there. She’d made a slip up going that direction, but even I knew where she was going. I didn’t have a family like Cookie did, or like she did. I didn’t have one like most of my peers. I shrugged at Sierra and smiled.

Jordan: It’s fine, boo. You’re right. I don’t understand the whole family dynamics that most of you have. I admit, I’m just selfish. I wanted more of Cookie’s time to myself. So without her, I’ve just been a bit lost. Everyone can see it. They’re all trying to help me. Nothing has worked. Most of it has just… pissed me off.

Sierra shot me a look, but then the waitress appeared at our location to take an order. It caused us to cease our serious conversation and entertain her small talk for the moment. As soon as she left, Sierra was picking back up where we left off. She tilted her head slightly sideways as she stared at me.

Jordan: Dave was trying to help me, and he had me training a girl. She got hurt…

Sierra: Wait, what? When did this happen!? Why haven’t you told me?

Jordan: That’s just it. These things keep happening and I sort of just… I distance myself from it all mentally.

Sierra: Jordan… I don’t understand…

Jordan: I’m broken. No one can help me. Nothing can repair it. I can feel it. I’m just… completely fucked. The only thing normal in my life right now is you. But I don’t want you to feel burdened by me.

Sierra furrowed her brow and leaned back. She crossed her arms and stared at me. It felt like maybe I’d struck some sort of nerve.

Sierra: What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don’t want me to feel burdened.

Jordan: My problems… they aren’t yours to face. I’ll figure them out on my own.

Sierra: You don’t have to face them alone. And you’re not a freaking burden. Anything you need, I can help you. I can be here for you.

I shook my head. I didn’t know how to let her in . Not like that. The idea that she would have to carry my problems was too much for me to bare. I put my hands together and rested them on the table. I leaned forward toward her. I smiled in an attempt to change the tone of things.

Jordan: I know we haven’t been together all that long, but I can safely say I love you for the person you are and the support you are willing to give me. I didn’t expect this to fall into our laps the way it did. But I’m very happy that it has. But this thing that’s happening with me, it’s all in my head. I have to figure it out somehow. It’s not your fault and there’s no way you could ever fix it. This is something that I have to figure out on my own.

Sierra: I just don’t see how that will fix anything. Have you thought about talking to someone?

Jordan: Like a shrink?

Sierra: Yeah. A therapist.

God, that worked well last time. I’m sure somewhere in Illinois they were still looking for the brown-haired girl that set her doctor’s office on fire after acting like a complete maniac. But we don’t talk about those days anymore, do we? No, a therapist just wouldn’t do.

Jordan: Well, I paid Vihaan $2,000 to sit with me and chat for awhile.

Sierra: Like he’s a gigolo?

Jordan: What’s that?

Sierra: It’s, uh, nothing. Babe, just… please, please make sure you figure this out. I don’t want to see you going down the kinds of roads my sister was last year. She was so obsessed with Kelcey that she let it drive her mad. Don’t let this drive you to places that you’ll regret in the long run.

Jordan: So you also thought Sienna was a bit crazy, huh?

Sierra: Don’t you dare ever repeat that information.

I laughed, the first bit of happy that she’d seen from me since we’d reached the restaurant and I relaxed a bit. It was true that the thoughts in my mind had been consuming me lately. But I’d tried to ignore them and push them deep down in the depths of my mind when I was around Sierra. The last thing I wanted was for her to worry. I was already worried about me. I didn’t need others to feel that way, too.

But that hadn’t stopped me from having people who were obsessed with fixing the issues they saw in me. David thought he could teach me something, but all he had taught me was that I couldn’t trust myself with his students and that I couldn’t trust him with whatever he thought would work for me. He didn’t truly know what was best for me. Only I could find that answer. But Sierra was right. I needed someone to talk to about this. Cookie was gone, taking care of her own problems. And, so far, no one else worked.

I didn’t know who I could reach out to anymore. Vihaan was a bit of an idiot. Asher seemed like a lost cause now. The whole Helms family had this complicated relationship with me that I couldn’t possibly fix after what I had done. And many others were now entrenched in a past I wasn’t ready to completely re-examine. I was distracted by a flash at the window that lit up my face. I lifted a hand as my eyes adjusted to the sudden light and I turned slightly to see a photographer standing outside shooting photos of me through the window. A restaurant employee ran outside and confronted the camera man as I looked at Sierra.

Sierra: Well, that was weird. Is the show doing that good?

I chuckled and shrugged. It wasn’t the first time some rogue photographer was chasing me down for a photo. At least I wasn’t showing any Lancaster-style boob.

Jordan: Maybe they were trying to get pictures of you, boo.

I gave her a wink and looked back outside as the photographer and the restaurant worker tussled. I thought about the people I could reach out to next, but I kept drawing blanks. I needed something to show me the path. This dinner hadn’t helped me figure out the path I needed to take. It had just made my girlfriend a little more self-conscious about my problems.

Later that night, I returned home alone and sat in the backyard and smoked a bowl. Another dirty habit my employers didn’t need to know about. I hoped it too would show me a path. But I kept thinking about Asher Hayes. Probably because it was his weed that I got before he thought he was the world champion and started acting too cool to talk to me. Fuck. I really didn’t have anyone, did I? In that moment I knew what I had to do. I had to go back to Dave Helms. Again.

May 7, 2021 – Downtown Los Angeles

I waited days before I entertained the notion of stepping foot into Living Dangerously Dojo again. It had been a few weeks since Valen’s accident and I’d heard little from anyone associated with the gym. Someone dropped off a sack of items I’d left in my locker when I left in a hurry. I’d been so pissed that day, both at Dave and myself, that I just couldn’t be bothered. Even though I knew I needed to come back and face the music, so to speak, I needed more of a reason than just casually showing up to see what was going down. I wanted to talk with Dave, and I hoped it would stay cordial after the way things had gone the last time. But I wouldn’t back down if he challenged me. We both knew that.

The reason that brought me here today was a text from someone from the gym. I didn’t recognize the number, but I suspected it might be Britt. This mystery person let me know that Valen was visiting the gym. She still wasn’t cleared from what I’d heard, but she was coming by to see friends or whatever she could do. For all I knew, this was a trap to lure me into more shit with Dave. But maybe, I thought, I could pull some sort of two for one special and talk to both.

When I entered the gym, I could feel the scarlet letter burning a scar into my chest. Everyone was staring at me like I was some sort of outsider who had infiltrated their ranks unsuccessfully. There were the eyes, the whispers, the laughs… it was enough to make me want to throw something at them or burst out into a tirade. But I kept my cool instead. I chose not to be violent. Most days I would head straight for the locker rooms, but this time I was heading straight for the big man’s office. From the windows on the outside, I could see him sitting inside and sifting through some paperwork. For a moment I thought about how this might go, but my give a fuck was busted. I walked right in without a greeting and sat down. Dave didn’t look at me. He didn’t lift his pen from the paper. He just kept going.

David: Hello, Jordan.

Jordan: Hey…

David: Figured you’d be back here eventually.

Jordan: What? Like I’m that predictable?

This stopped Dave. He put his pen down and looked at me. He was trying so hard not to smile that his lips were slightly curled anyway. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I looked away.

David: I don’t see a reason to get into any of that. So, I assume you’re back here to…

I looked up at him. I knew what he was going to say before he said it. He thought I was crawling back to apologize for what went down. I bit my lip as I awaited the word.

David: Apologize?

Jordan: Heh, no.

David: Are you… laughing about that?

Jordan: Well, yeah. I’m not going to apologize to you for anything that happened in your gym.

David: I’m not sure how to respond to that.

Jordan: You want me to remember who I am? Well, this is who I am. I’m not going to apologize for it any longer. I’m moody sometimes. I’m impulsive. I make a shit ton of mistakes. I have way more than I deserve and I know that. But you’ve been trying to teach me to remember who I am and this is me. I’m not going to apologize for it.

David: If this is how you feel, then you’ve entirely missed the point of what I was intending to get across.

I wasn’t prepared for that type of rebuttal. I should have been. This man was a pro at this kind of thing. He’d just gotten his ass beat by Owen Cruze a few days earlier and you wouldn’t know any different by looking at him. I would have been wearing it like a fresh coat of oil paint that was taking too long to dry. I scowled him. It wasn’t just with my face either. My entire body showed it.

Jordan: Well, I guess that’s over with anyway since I’m banned from teaching here.

David: Well, that was probably a little bit of an overreaction on my part. I’ll be the bigger person here and say that I’m sorry about that.

I shook my head again and leaned forward in the chair. I leaned against his desk as he leaned back in his chair and sighed.

Jordan: Why can’t you just be normal?

David: What is normal to you in this case?

Jordan: Why don’t you just hate me? Completely loathe me? I mean, I’ve been nothing but a bitch to you and your family. I’m not a good friend. I’m a terrible person. I know it. You know it. But you can’t help yourself but to put on the cape and try to save the day. Well, maybe I don’t need saving.

David: Why do you think you don’t need saving?

Jordan: For every reason I just told you!

David: So, what? You just find yourself to be completely worthless?

Jordan: Yes! I feel like I’m not worth all the trouble everyone puts into helping me. How have I repaid anyone? All I do is bring them more trouble. Just more pain!

Dave grabbed a pen off of his desk and leaned back again. He looked out the window of his office and watched others work out for a moment and then he turned back and sighed.

David: You’re a diamond, Jordan Majors. A diamond just waiting to be mined out of the coal. And you refuse to admit it yourself.

Dave smiled and looked down at the pen between his fingers. He twirled it and fiddled with it for a moment.

David: I thought, maybe if you were able to work with someone and remember how much you love this lifestyle… maybe it would spark something in you. It would change your perception of things. But you’re still holding back.

Jordan: I don’t know what any of that even means, Dave.

David: You think that because you dated and cheated on my ex-wife that I have some big issue with you. Kath doesn’t even have an issue with you. We just spoke about you the other day. About what happened here. Do you think she asked me about Valen right away? She knew the person that would be most affected by that would be you. The truth about you is that everyone knows how flawed you are. You wear everything on your collar, and you know that’s true.

I looked down and sighed. The air escaping my lungs from deep down within. I closed my eyes, but Dave kept filling my head with his sermon.

David: But underneath all those flaws is this fighter that I can’t help but believe in. I see you learn from your failures. I see you adjust and evolve no matter what happens. You’re so talented and I don’t think you realize it. Because your whole life you’ve been made to fight. But you’ve also been made to run. You don’t know how to truly face your issues. So you’re always throwing haymakers at the demons until they chase you off. You think I don’t know what happened with your mother in New Orleans?

The mere mention of my mom snapped my head back up to look at Dave. No doubt he’d heard the story from Jason. He was the person Jaina asked to bail me out of jail. It was a dark part of my recent past that I kept trying to forget all together.

David: That’s a perfect example of things. You punched your mother in the face. And then when things got really difficult there, you ran. You came to LA and you found solace in old flames, didn’t you?

This man was so connected. He knew everything about me. I nodded to him and he looked back out the window and sighed.

David: The one thing I know about you, Jordan, is you’re this close to breaking out of the walls that you put around yourself. But today, right now… you are truly your own worst enemy. I see decisions you make outside of the ring and I just have to wonder where your head’s at. It seems to be up in the clouds. Maybe you think too much, I don’t know. The thing is, doll, the only person holding you back is you. And I thought teaching someone, maybe it would bring you a little clarity.

The word sparked something in my head. It was one I’d seen Owen and Giovanni use lately. It was just coincidental for Dave to use it, I’m sure, but the effect was still the same nonetheless. Would teaching bring me the kind of clarity that they spoke of, or is their something else out there that could save me.

David: The big question you need to ask yourself, and I mean this seriously… is what do you want? Who do you want to be at the end of the day? The only person that can truly answer that for you, is you. And I just–

There was a commotion outside of his office and Dave turned to look out the window. He stood slightly out of his chair and I saw him smile. I looked over and saw a small crowd of people talking to Valen. I quickly stood and left the office.

David: Jordan! Wait!

I rounded the corner and stood at a distance as I watched her talking to the group that surrounded her. She seemed a little off, but I knew she was still dealing with some lingering pain. She was likely another month from being able to fully go. I turned as someone approached and saw Dave making his way toward me so I hurried away from the area toward the girl who was my apprentice of sorts. Valen managed a half smile as I approached and the crowd around her dispersed like I was walking in carrying a plague.

Jordan: Val… I’m… I don’t know–

She held up a hand and stopped me from saying another word.

Valen: How convenient for you to see me here. I didn’t think you’d be here.

Jordan: I heard you would be here and I needed to come see you. See how you were doing.

Valen: How I’m doing? You want to know how things are going? I’m in pain every fucking day, that’s how it’s going. All because you were in la la land while I was falling head first on to my neck. That’s how things are going, Jordan.

Jordan: Valen, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.

Valen: How’s that working for you? Everything I’ve ever watched you do in your career has basically been a failure. So Dave throws you a bone and has you train someone? And look at me!? You failed again!

She sighed and rolled her eyes. She shrugged her shoulders and started to walk past me. I reached for her wrist and she pulled her arm away quickly. The motion made her bite her lip and the pain was evident in her body language. I looked into her eyes and I saw a look of distrust and disgust. My heart dropped at her reaction to me. I was frozen there as she stared at me with that expression across her face.

Valen: Just leave me alone and leave my friends alone before you get someone else hurt. The last thing they need is someone like you around here. You’re not good for any of us. You’re pathetic and you’re dangerous and I don’t want anything to do with you!

I looked around the gym again and saw all the eyes staring in my direction. I scanned around to see them whispering to each other. I saw Dave with his arms crossed, looking down and shaking his head. I took a step backward and then turned around, running into two observers before I parted them and passed by.

Valen: That’s right! Leave!

David: Valentina!

I headed through the door and waited for it to close behind me and then hurried toward the corner. As I headed there, I covered my mouth with my arm until I was around the corner.

I pulled my arm away and let out a primal scream before falling back into the wall and sliding down. My eyes filled with tears as I fell to a seated position against the wall. I buried my head into my arms against my knees and wept openly. It was weeks, no, months of frustration boiling over. It was coming out all at once. I needed the release. I needed to just scream and let this out.

I heard the footsteps as they approached and turned with tear stained cheeks to look at Dave standing tall over me. I looked away and he knelt down next to me. He put his hand on my shoulder, but I pulled away from him. I heard him sigh.

David: I tried to stop you. I’d heard that… she was blaming you for all of this. You just need to give her some time. She’ll realize that this was all just a freak deal and then… maybe she’ll feel comfortable with you and her working together again.

Jordan: I don’t blame her. I fuck up everything, Dave. I literally can’t stop fucking up lives. Everything I touch turns to shit.

David: Come on. Don’t think like that.

Jordan: I don’t know how else to think! Or how to feel! Everyone should just… stay away from me.

David: Doll, you need to take a deep breath and pull yourself back together. I don’t know what this is, some sort of mental breakdown or what, but you’ve got to get past this.

Jordan: I don’t know how. I don’t know how to defeat this wall that’s in my mind. I can’t get over it. It just gets higher and higher… I just… I’m lost.

David sighed again. He let me just weep for a moment. Let me calm myself down. His gym could run itself while he tended to me. For all the shit I gave this man, for all the times I labeled him an asshole in my head, here he was actually caring about me. He was truly a friend, and I didn’t know why he thought I was worth it. But then I found myself remembering a conversation between the two of us.

It was in this very location, with nothing but studs and drywall in an abandoned renovation project, where I offered Dave help. I barely knew him then, but I believed in his dream to run his own family gym with his wife. All the plane rides he’d taken me on. The trust he put in me to watch over his son when I was around him. This man turning to me, of all people, when Peyton was attacked inside of Chris Cannon’s house. He not only cared, but he was truly invested in our relationship as friends.

I wiped away tears with my arm and I pushed myself up from the wall. Dave stood and held my arm to help me up faster. We stood quietly, me in shambles and him with his arms crossed. He leaned a shoulder against the wall and looked at me.

Jordan: I don’t know what I need to do, Dave. But I have to figure this out.

David: You do. Whatever you need, you tell me. I still think there’s something you can learn from teaching, but…

Jordan: I know. Right now isn’t the right time for it. I get it.

David: Give it some time. There’s still a lot you can pick up from that. Trust me.

Jordan: I… I do. I trust you.

David: That’s quite convincing, doll.

That made me crack a smile. I looked at him and wiped my face with my arm again. I looked at him. That man with the million dollar smile who stood there with his hands in his pockets. I could sorta get why Kath had a child with this man. But also, not my kinda thing! I sighed and leaned my back against the wall.

Jordan: I’ll get this figured out. My mind is just… broken.

David: You’re not broken.

Jordan: No, trust me. I am. I have been for a long time.

Now I was thinking of my mom again. I was thinking about the way I grew up and the things I went through. I didn’t talk about them much. I never addressed them head on. I had always just pushed it to the back of my mind and powered on. But it felt like an excuse. This was deeper than my childhood. I knew that.

Dave took me home that afternoon and he almost refused to leave me alone. Like he thought I was a danger to myself. And maybe in some ways I was. Because hours later I was standing in the bathroom, in front of the mirror, and staring at a bottle of pills on the sink. Everything I’d shown Dave was just an act to get me back home so I could take this mask off. I was on a television show now, but the best acting I did on a day to day basis was fooling people into thinking I was better off than I was.

I’d been so strong to this point, but I was so close to letting go. On that night, I beat those pills again. Even though I held them in my hand and longed for the escape, the ease that I knew could come with them, I refused it. I was stronger than that. But when it came to win the war, I retreated again. With the lid off, I held the bottle sideways ready to dump its contents down the drain. And as one pill began to slide, I quickly turned the bottle upright and saved the soldier from falling into the abyss below. Because it may need to fight another day. The day I would finally give in and let them win.

Promo

A cell phone camera video begins, showing Jordan Majors’ face squarely in the middle. It’s obvious she’s holding her own phone as she shoots a video. She smiles after a few seconds.

It’s been awhile since I just… kicked it back and relaxed a bit with one of these. The need for the dramatic flair isn’t quite as prevalent today. I’m just sitting at home and getting ready for my next match. I’ll get to you, Katie, but first I have some things I need to get off my chest. So here it is. I told you so.

She smirks and shakes her head.

Listen, Team BDSM, y’all tried. You came and you tried. You got a little dirty when you could. But what did you accomplish? Nothing. Just like I said. You’re all cheap shots and sneak attacks, but then it ends there. When you’re put in the ring and challenged to put your money where your mouth is, the message falls flat. And it’s exactly what I told you I expected to see. The four of you have done, what exactly? Piss people off? Maybe Peyton never wrestles the same way again, maybe she doesn’t wrestle at all. But her reputation right now on the sidelines still exceeds anything you’ve put together. Y’all are looking like garbage right now. And my team? At Be Careful What You Wish For we took the trash out.

Jordan rolls her eyes and smiles before shaking her head.

And you had the gall to walk out of the arena smiling and laughing about that. I knew Konrad was deranged walking around as some little girl’s property, but apparently all of you have lost your damn minds. Oh, now Minerva is going to activate Tommy? Oh, I’m so scared. I’m literally shaking over here thinking about how the man who weaseled his way into a title opportunity only to get flat out embarrassed is about to step up and lead this team to new places. As far as I’m concerned, you are all non factors. You had your fun. Now be gone, before you make us really have to put you away for good.

She snickers to herself.

Don’t worry, Konnie. We’ll let you keep the mask as a reminder of the time you spent as an idiot. This is the blind leading the blind people. Don’t let yourself be fooled into believing their messaging. They think they’re shouting through megaphones and changing the world when all they’re really doing is hitting send on a Tweet. No one cares anymore. Team BDSM… maybe it’s time for you to give up. Unless you want me to force you to Cash Out once and for all.

That brings me to the goddess of the hour. I’m about to step into the ring with Katie Steward again and, sadly, I can relate with Holly on this one. I know, I’m inclined to be nice here so I will. Let’s focus on the positives for a moment. At one time in this industry, Katie was an unstoppable force. Time doesn’t do any jobs, of course, and father time has caught up with Katie over the years. The industry has evolved and, well, she just hasn’t. I’m part of a new breed of competitor that has helped change the game here. And that’s with my own personal ring struggles of the last few months factored in.

Jordan smirks and shakes her head.

Let’s face it. If I felt like my career was circling the drain, how must Katie feel? I imagine she is at the bottom of the drain holding on to whatever she can as the water threatens to wash her away for good. I don’t mean to make fun or pick on Katie. I have a lot of admiration for the fact that she isn’t ready to hang it up yet. She’s done literally everything in this company and that’s something I’m not even close to. I envied her style when she broke onto the scene. Back at the beginning of my career I remember introducing the superkick to my repertoire and doing it just like her. And that was just before I hit that Platinum Blonde finisher for the pin. She is truly a queen. An absolute fucking legend.

She nods and then shrugs.

But all legends fade eventually. Nothing about Katie and TJ walking down that ramp scares me. I’m not intimidated by the act or her long list of achievements. Who knows if I’ll ever come close to doing half of what Katie did, but I know right now that she and I are not on the same level. She’s trying to hang on to the past. But I’m THE future of this industry. I realize that I haven’t shown it lately, but everyone can see it coming back. Momentum is back on my side. I’m getting back into that groove and I’ve only begun to show how truly dangerous I can be. SCW management might need a reminder of what Jordan Majors is capable of. Well, I guess I’ll have to make an example out of an SCW Hall of Famer to remind them.

Jordan grins to herself as she stares into the camera.

I have a lot of respect for the history and the luster of Katie Steward. But it’s a relic of the past now. SCW? It’s got eyes on the future of this company. It doesn’t need to look far to see the future scattered around within the youth of this roster. It doesn’t need to look beyond me. As always, Katie, I appreciate the opportunity to dance with a legend on a Thursday night. But I’m not going to let you use me as a stepping stone back to relevancy. No, I’m going to beat you and then you can continue your silly little blast from the past act with the next person you come across.

I said this before the pay per view, and it still rings true right now. This isn’t about you, Katie. This is all about me. I’ve set out to prove something. I’m leaving all doubters behind me, scratching their heads and wondering how they misjudged me. A year and a half ago I was named the star of tomorrow for this company and I came damn close to proving that to be a reality in the months that followed. Now, I’m going to put my money where my mouth is and prove that attention was warranted and I am today’s star. Team BDSM couldn’t do that. And you, Katie… you can’t either. Not anymore. Breakdown is another win for me and more momentum as I climb up to the top. You can take that to the bank, Katie. Because Jordan Majors is money.

Jordan smirks and then winks before blowing a kiss to the camera and ending the video.