April 11, 2020 – Louisiana
After the trip to Mexico for Breakdown, I returned to Louisiana with too much on my mind. There was the stuff with Bree and Sienna, the stuff with Jake, not to mention the stuff with Jaina and Abigail practically waiting in the wings and hoping that we would end up together. And then there was my mom. Seeing Christina standing on the streets near CrescentCity Fitness just about gave me a goddamn heart attack. I knew I couldn’t keep going there if she would still be in that spot. She knew it was my home base of sorts for workouts. It was like… she was seeking me out or something. I wasn’t ready for that. She was probably homeless now. My fault, sort of. But I just couldn’t let her take advantage of me anymore. I took a stand. It was bound to have consequences for all of us. So I found another place in town that was somewhat private. Mostly secluded. Felt like I was working out in some person’s large garage in all honesty, but it had a locker room. It was late and I was the only one there when I called someone on facetime. The phone rang and then a familiar face popped up.
Abigail: Hey beautiful. You look… sweaty. What are you doing?
Jordan: Just working out. Well, taking a break. I’m the only one here.
Abigail: Is that the legendary Lancaster family gym I hear so much about? Looks pretty dark and uninviting for a world class gym.
I laugh and shake my head, staring at her in the phone.
Jordan: Nah, this is… well, I don’t know. Bob’s Gym or something.
Abigail: Are you sure you aren’t about to get murdered by a serial killer who lured you into their trap?
Jordan: Well, I certainly hope not. Would be my luck to become champion and die before someone can fight me for it.
Abigail smirks and shakes her head. I can see she’s sitting in her living space on the couch. I spot the top of a book resting near her stomach.
Jordan: Did I interrupt you during your favorite pastime of reading books?
Abigail: Don’t tease me just because you don’t read. And don’t try to change the subject so fast.
I look at her curiously with a brow raised.
Jordan: What do you mean by that?
Abigail: Don’t you play coy with me Jordan Majors. You didn’t tell me why you suddenly stopped going to the Lancaster palace of muscle and fitness.
Jordan: What’s with the goofy nicknames?
Abigail: Stop avoiding it. What’s going on? More trouble between you and…
I sigh and look away for a moment and then run a hand through my hair before continuing.
Jordan: Actually, it has nothing to do with any of them. It’s my mom.
Abigail: She doesn’t really seem like the workout type.
Jordan: She’s not. I think she’s living on the streets here.
Abigail: Well, you did pull the rug out from under her when you broke your apartment lease, but she was a glorified squatter. And you two are in a bit of a war right now. Except she is the one that offered the olive branch of peace.
Jordan: Wait, what do you mean by that.
Abigail shrugs and shakes her head side to side.
Abigail: She’s the one that didn’t pursue those charges I imagine. Just by not showing up.
Jordan: I mean, I don’t know if she did that on purpose or she was just homeless and didn’t show up for some reason related to that. Either way, I don’t know why I feel bad about seeing her that way.
Abigail smiles and shrugs again.
Abigail: Because, you’re you. This is the reason why I love you. Jaina, too.
I feel my cheeks burning red as I look down in an attempt to hide my blushing.
Abigail: And because at the end of the day, she’s still your mom. You just care about a lot of people. It’s what makes you special and makes your life so complicated all at the same time.
I look at her curiously on my phone screen, eyes slightly narrowed in confusion.
Jordan: How so? I mean what does that mean?
Abigail: It’s pretty simple, really. You care about your mom more than you will openly admit. It makes things difficult for you when it comes to just pushing her away. It’s not much different than what I know to be true with me. You love me. We split because we were both acting crazy. But then we came back together. Except you weren’t available. You want more than anything to be with me. But you want more than anything to be with Jaina at the same time. You love so hard. That’s why you’re already engaged, yet also thinking about me at the same time.
I raise a hand and bury my face in it while keeping the camera fixed on my face with the other.
Abigail: You want nothing more than to impress Bree and make her proud. Same with Jake. But one of them loves Sienna and the other hates her. That means Sienna doesn’t trust you entirely. It’s causing a riff and you don’t know how to react. It’s funny though…
I look up, again with an expression full of curiosity and confusion.
Jordan: What?
Abigail: It’s just that… well at Rise to Greatness last year you had no issues turning on me. Think of it this way. Bree is your friend, but more committed to Sienna. Jake is your brother, but he is only committed to the well-being of you. When you were faced with that at Rise to Greatness with me committed to Ravyn and Bree committed to you, you chose Bree without much hesitation. Why so much hesitation now?
It was an interesting point. Suddenly, the thought was weighing on me so heavily. I went quiet for a moment, trying to stir up a reason, but ended up shaking my head side to side.
Abigail: I wonder if it’s maybe Jaina that makes the difference. I’m trying not to be bias here. I promise.
Jordan: Sure…
Abigail: I promise. I know this is all messing with your head.
Jordan: Why would it be Jaina.
Abigail: Well, if you were to turn your back on Bree and side with Jake. Or really just if you don’t side with her and Sienna at all, then what? How does that change things with you and Jaina. She lives with her aunt half the time, right? From what you said at least. It’s not like you can just drop in and show up to hang out. You know how Bree is. She likes honesty and loyalty. If you turn your back on her, the loyalty is gone. And she’ll probably also assume that you’ve not been fully honest with her this whole time. Just the way I see it. Maybe I’m wrong.
Jordan: Maybe…
Abigail: But maybe what I’m saying is right. And then you and Jaina are probably in a weird position. She looks up to Bree. She travels with her. Her opinion means a great deal to Jaina. Even more than it’s ever meant to you. I just don’t know the path after that. I just know that Sienna doesn’t seem to be a big fan of you because of your brother.
Jordan: I’m not sure I was ready for you to drop all of this on me.
Abigail gives me a slight smile and then nods slowly.
Abigail: It’s what you need to hear though. Sooner or later you’re going to be pushed into a corner and forced to pick the path to battle out. The path you choose. It could change everything. But also, you can’t just dwell on this either. You’ve got a match on Breakdown from what I saw. And you’ve got the match against your good friend Peyton next week, too.
I scoff as she changes the subject and brings up Peyton. She laughs softly back at me.
Abigail: I thought the two of you were cool now after the whole boat trip.
Jordan: Cool? Sure. But I know that fighting her one on one is going to be like climbing a mountain to see who can reach the top first. Our history is sort of bizarre from the beginning to now, but I know I’m ready for this. More than ever before I am ready for Peyton Rice.
I nod to myself and Abigail grins.
Abigail: Well, I’m convinced. I’ll let you get back to your workout so I can finish this book.
Jordan: What, so you can start another one?
Abigail: Don’t judge me?
I laugh and she snickers back at me and then shoots me a kiss and a wink. I do the same back.
Abigail: Bye.
The call ends suddenly and I hang my head and drape a towel over the nape of my neck. I force myself to stand up to leave and then catch a glance of myself from across the room. I look at physically fit as I have in my entire life. But around my eyes tells a different story. I look… worn out. Brought down by the mental toll of dealing with some of the uncertainty in my life. But just as I did when I won the Adrenaline Championship, I will fight on. And it feels like nothing can stop me right now. I’ll either run out of gas, or die trying to defend this title with my last breath.
Promo
Jordan Majors is shown sitting in a dark locker room with a towel draped over her neck as her camera focuses on her.
I’m sitting here thinking about Breakdown and even Cold Blooded the following week. But right now, my mind is mostly on this tag match with Jake and I. From an outside perspective, it probably looks like we aren’t on the same page. Jake is a warrior. He’s traveled up and down this business and he’s damn near done it all. Me? I’m just getting started. It’s only natural when one person is having success and the other is struggling for there to be a bit of a divide. We’re not at each other’s throats, but we’re definitely not meshing entirely. And maybe that’s my fault. Because Jake has spent the last few weeks sticking his nose in Sienna Swann’s business and it now looks like my reaction to this is to stand on the sidelines and let it happen.
Jordan shakes her head side to side and sighs.
I’m not exactly sure what the world has come to expect from me when it comes to me and Jake. Sure, we did the tag thing for a bit. But my fortunes changed at the buy-in and at Trios and then I found myself fighting for the title. I’m the Adrenaline Champion. On my mind is not a quest for the tag titles. I’m fighting for myself and I’m loving it. But he’s my brother, and it feels like some people think I need to be standing up for him in his own fights. Some people think this whole thing is my fault. Well, maybe it is.
Jordan stares directly into her camera.
I can’t be the person who runs down week-to-week and puts her entire reputation on the line because of a squabble between friend and family.
Jordan puts the camera down for a moment and is seen standing up for a moment and putting her hands on her hips before she picks it back up and focuses on her face.
I don’t have time to deal with this bullshit. I never asked for Sienna to lash out at my family. I never asked for my mentor’s best friend to somehow turn this all back on me. But here we are. Suddenly being friends with Bree and Jake’s sister has come back to bite me in the ass. Everyone is looking at me and asking what I’m going to do. And I don’t know. Because my focus is on being the best damn Adrenaline Champion this company could ask for right now. Yet these people are fighting over me? Sienna and Chris and Xiomara attacking Jake because I tried to make sure Bree was ok? She blames me for her loss at Retribution, and by extension, she blames Jake.
Jordan rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
So here’s the deal. This week Jake and I have a tag match. And I’m going to ask very nicely that Sienna doesn’t come down and mess with my brother because she would in turn be messing with me. Keep your squabble to Cold Blooded and let me do my thing in the ring. If someone doesn’t want me around anymore, I wish they would just tell me. I’ll be perfectly content hanging out in the locker room with all of the rest of the great talent we have on these shows, and driving from show to show instead of hitching rides on private jets around the country. Because none of that stuff matters to me. I came here to SCW to fight. I came here to be the best. Somewhere along the way it seems to me that being the best became more about how much money and fame you have. How much influence you have to manipulate the people around you. It became about the wrong things. And I was guilty of falling into that trap, too. But that’s not what I want now.
Jordan looks directly into the camera and smirks.
I have a match with Peyton Rice this weekend. Once my arch nemesis and now just a friendly or sorts rival that I want to beat more than anything in the world right now. So excuse me if I don’t want to get caught up in any bullshit between Jake Starr and Sienna Swann. Blame it on me, I don’t care. She started it, now you both can finish it. But for this week, Jake and I will be in that ring proving that no matter how many families walk into this company and try to stake their claim as the best, the Starr family doesn’t claim anything. We are the best. That’s no claim. That’s a goddamn guarantee.
Jordan nods for a moment and then smiles.
So you cool Black Cat Bandits, bring yourselves to our ring and dare to step to us and just try and beat us. We’re ready. If you think we’re vulnerable then you are wrong. We are ready. For anything. No matter what happens, we will keep on fighting. Jake will battle Sienna through the depths of hell and whatever Chris and Xio have prepared for him. I will go to war with Peyton Rice and I will walk out of it beaten and bruised but still the SCW Adrenaline Championship. And you two, you will just be the warm-up for what’s about to be a great week for the Starr family. Because we’re money, baby. You can take that to the bank.
Jordan winks to the camera and ends the recording.
Everything You Wish You Could Be 